When love wins from hate
by The-Allenfangirl
Summary: To their own disgust Allen and Kanda are sent on a mission together. When Allen get's wounded Kanda has to help him and slowly they become better friends. Even after coming home they can't avoid meeting each other. But isn't something more than friendship beginning to blossom? Disclaimer: D. Gray-man and it's characters belong to Hoshino Katsura
1. Chapter 1

Lavi: 'A Yullen fanfic, huh? They'll get really mad when they'll find out.'

Me: 'B... b... but it's not my fault! My friends kept pushing me to make it a yullen. I'm not a yullen fan anyway. I just wanted to write something about their friendship!'

Lavi: 'You know they won't take that excuse.'

Me: *panicks* 'Just don't tell them about it, keep it a secret. I... If you tell them I'll say to them that you stole Mugen and called Allen a Moyashi!' *runs away in fright*

Lavi: *Watches her flee* 'Such a lively girl isn't she?'

* * *

**Chapter 1**

'Moyashi, hurry up.' Kanda stood at the dining table tapping Mugen with his fingers in impatience.

'Shut up, I'm eating,' Allen groaned in between two mouthfuls of food. 'Instead take this time to remember my name for once. Oh, and for the information, that's Allen!'

'Tssk,' was the only answer, but to Allen's satisfaction it stayed silent for a while after that.

The boy finished his meal in a few minutes and rose from his seat. 'Well, come on then. Better have this mission finished as fast as possible. That's better for both of us.'

'We would have been on our way already if you would have been faster,' Kanda grunted.

'Well, if you'll make sure my food is ready at eight in the morning I will be next time,' Allen snapped back before turning around and leaving the dining hall.

It was unbelievable. Why did Komui team them up? He knew Kanda and Allen hated each other to the bone. It was like teaming up a dog and a cat, knowing they would attack each other in no-time. Especially when you let them go on a mission together, without someone else. Allen really wondered how he would survive in Kanda's presence for so long. He even heard that some finders made bets on whether they would fight or not during this mission and, if so, who would win.

Allen snorted as they left the order's safe building. He would make sure that everyone who had bet on Kanda would lose. He would dig his claws deep into Kanda's face if he would ever need to.

* * *

'So, the innocence should be somewhere around here, huh?' Allen asked. He looked around, but all he saw were endless rows of trees. 'I don't see this so-called green wolf at all. I wonder if we're in the wrong place after all.' He had a disastrous feeling for direction after all.

Kanda ignored him and searched through the bushes closest to them, then, when he seemed to have noticed something he disappeared further into the forest.

'Oi, Kanda, wait a minute, don't just leave me behind!' Allen ran after his companion and now realised there were paw prints on the floor. But they weren't like normal ones, they were made of moss.

Just when he had nearly caught up with the dark-haired exorcist he had been following, his left eye started to throb and activated. Allen skidded to a halt and studied his surroundings. 'Kanda, there are…'

Before he had finished his sentence, Kanda had already drawn Mugen and killed the first enemy.

Now the rest of the akuma appeared too and suddenly they were surrounded by a lot of level 2 and several level 3's.

Immediately Allen activated Crown Clown and started slashing them with his sword. He was vaguely aware of Kanda doing the same on the other side. They worked towards each other to avoid missing one accidentally.

In the end they only faced three level 3 akuma, one of which carried the green wolf.

Even though Allen had seen some miracles caused by the innocence already before, he was still surprised when he saw it. It was an odd sight after all. The animal seemed to consist out of plants and vines, that moved as if they were one body. Wherever the paws touched moss appeared, as if it had always been growing there.

'Kanda, you get the innocence, I'll take care of the other two akuma.'

The other nodded silently and ran over to his target.

The akuma laughed as they saw Kanda leave. 'Do you really think you can take on both of us, exorcist? Now you won't have someone to protect your back anymore.'

Allen ignored their mocking words and changed from his sword to his edge. He would put an end to this quickly, so he could reunite with his companion and leave this forest as soon as possible with the innocence. Maybe they could even be home before dinner already. His stomach rumbled as if in response.

With a swift and unexpected move he closed in on the akuma that had tried to target his back while he wouldn't notice it and used Edge End. However his enemy was already gone before his claws had reached it.

Allen turned around in surprise to see both akuma laughing on the other side of him. The one he had tried to attack floated lazily in the air and the other pointed his hand at him and shot something.

Allen dodged it on instinct by jumping aside.

The akuma laughed again. 'You won't win from us, exorcist. My dark matter is to move quicker than the eye can see.'

'And mine to poison everything that comes in touch with my stings.'

The exorcist didn't feel impressed at all. It wasn't unlike the powers of other akuma he had seen up until now. He could defeat these two.

Only a sudden punch to the back forced all air out of his lungs and made him fly for a few meters before meeting a tree in a, let's say: not really soft, embrace. Before he had time to recover from the blow he had received the other akuma threw a rain of stings at him.

The mantle of Crown Clown immediately formed a shield to keep them from reaching his body. Now Allen used his Clown belt to wrap up the fast akuma who hadn't expected him to react while his innocence was still protecting him from the other attack.

The rain of stings finally stopped for a moment and Allen took that chance to pull himself and the trapped akuma to each other with a quick movement of his Belt and slashed it to pieces.

He turned around to face the other, but it wasn't there. When he used his left eye he noticed it was pretty far away already.

'You win for now, exorcist!' it called. 'But only for now. You can take the innocence, but just look at your right arm. The earl will still congratulate me on killing you!' It screamed in laughter before it disappeared.


	2. Chapter 2

Allen: 'Wait, why do I have to be injected with poison? That's really mean you know!'

Me: 'Well, that's because...' *can't think of a good excuse and get's really frustrated* 'I'm sorry okay! You know how hard you two are being brought together?! There's no other way than making you suffer.'

Allen: 'But why me? Just had used that darned ponytail instead. By the way, stop trying. You won't bring us together. I hate him and he hates me.'

Me: *evil grin* 'We'll see about that.'

Allen: 'Eeeek, scary...'

* * *

**Chapter 2**

Allen took a few seconds to catch his breath before he remembered the words of the akuma. He let his eyes travel over his right arm and noticed the little needle in it. 'kuso…' he cursed. 'I guess we really have to go to the order fast. They'll probably have something to cure this before it gets worse.'

He scanned the area for a last time, but it really seemed to be akuma-free now.

The muffled sound of Kanda rustling trough the bushes caught his attention. 'Did you get it?'

But the even grumpier face than usual of the other exorcist already told him enough before he even spoke: 'It got away. I defeated the akuma, but as soon as it was free the innocence fled. I didn't even have the time to go after it, it was just too fast.'

Allen sighed in desperation. Not only was he forced now to spend even more time with stupid Kanda, he was also worried about his arm. The akuma had been talking about poison, how long would it take to take effect? He had hoped to be home before dinner too, he could forget that for sure.

'Well, let's go search for it then,' Allen said grumpily and made his way through the undergrowth to the place Kanda had appeared from. 'It leaves a lot of footprints, we should be able to track it down.'

'It didn't when it fled. It just got sucked in by a tree.'

Allen froze. 'It got what?'

'It probably reacts with the plants in the forest,' Kanda said while he also started to walk in the direction he came from. 'The wolf is probably just a coincidental form.'

Allen gritted his teeth in frustration. Great, now they didn't only have to spend more time on chasing it, but they didn't even know anymore where to look either. How could they find something that fused with plants in a FOREST?!

They didn't speak for the next hour, which was a relief to Allen. At least Kanda couldn't make him mad when he didn't open his mouth. Although looking at him could already give him reason enough to want to kill him, it wasn't really hard then to restrain himself from doing that if he only looked.

However, the longer they walked, the more Allen began to get the feeling he was weakening. His legs felt heavy and his lungs began to hurt while breathing. To his frustration he noticed he was falling behind Kanda, who was already walking five meters in front of him.

He wouldn't tell Kanda what had happened, he knew for sure it would give him a good reason again to make hateful comments, but he didn't see another option than to say at least something, no matter how reluctant he was to. 'Oi, Kanda, take it easy okay? It's not like those few minutes you win from walking so fast will make an actual difference.'

Kanda turned around. 'Tssk. Just hurry up, Moyashi, I'm not going to wait for you.'

'I'm telling you that you're walking too fast!' Allen snapped back, not feeling well at all. He could feel the sweat running down his back, wetting his coat from the inside.

'That's because you're too weak. That's not my problem.' The man turned around and just continued walking in the same pace without even checking if Allen kept up with him.

'Kanda, you jerk,' Allen raged while another meter threatened to take them apart. 'You could at least TRY listening to people!'

'Tssk' was the only answer he got.

Allen really tried hard to keep up. He stumbled through the trees as fast as he could, but his head began to ache and he suddenly felt himself growing really hot. Kanda was already nearly out of sight. He hoped his fellow exorcist wouldn't leave him alone, he was bound to get lost here, like he did nearly everywhere whenever he was alone and if he got lost here now… He didn't even want to think about it. Being lost just before dinner was already bad enough, some kind of poison didn't really need to make him even more anxious.

At some moment the space between them did even become so big he actually began to consider telling the truth, but he still threw away the idea quickly. He could still remember the last time he had needed Kanda's help very well. He hadn't been able to walk that time and they had been the only ones on the spot. He hadn't been grateful at all after the ponytailed jerk had helped him, more like even more eager to kill him someday. Actually, it wasn't really help at all. That time it went like this:

_After a few minutes Kanda seemed to have realised he hadn't been following him and came back._

_Allen was already very surprised he did. He had expected him to just go back to the order without him and that it would take at least a few hours until Lenalee or Lavi would find him after he hadn't returned. He made a last attempt to get up, but his body just didn't listen. One of his legs was obviously broken and the other was covered with cuts and other wounds. Everything felt numb from all the attacks he had received. It was a bit like that time he had defeated the level 4, only this time his mind felt clearer, his body just didn't want to cooperate. _

_'__Hurry up, Moyashi, what are you waiting for? Get up already.' Kanda grumbled impatiently. 'If you don't I'll leave without you.' He turned around again and began walking back the way he had come from. _

_'__Wait!' Allen called, but when Kanda shot him an annoyed glare he just couldn't say what was wrong. He didn't want to give the other the pleasure to see him weak like this. _

_The pony-tailed exorcist 'tssk-ed' and then started to walk away again. _

_'__Wait, I can't…!' _

_Kanda stopped again. _

_Allen averted his gaze and felt himself blush out of frustration. 'I can't stand up.'_

_When he looked back he could see surprise on Kanda's face. _

_'__So, if you could just help me a little here,' Allen continued with some rage in his voice now that the other just stood there and did nothing. 'I'd really like to go back to the Order too.'_

_Kanda snorted, but he did finally walk over to his companion. _

_However, he didn't take Allen's arm like the boy had expected, but picked up the non-broken but wounded leg and began pulling it violently._

_The injured boy howled in pain for a moment, then became really mad: 'You idiot, stop that! It hurts!'_

_His words were being ignored and his body kept sliding over the floor. Just as Allen thought about activating Clown Belt again to attack that stupid jerk Lavi appeared: 'Hey, guys, whoa, what's wrong, Allen? Are you okay?'_

_'__No, I'm not!' he snapped while glaring at the dark-haired exorcist who had already left them behind. 'That idiot thought he could help me by pulling my wounded leg! That his wounds heal in no-time doesn't mean mine do too!'_

_'__It's okay, Allen, calm down. Let me help you.' And so Lavi wrapped an arm around his neck and helped his friend back to the order. _

Never would Allen give Kanda the chance to do something like that again. He would rather see another akuma self-destruct.

Or that was what he had thought before, because now he really started to doubt this plan. Kanda was gone and his eyesight began to blur. It was too late now. Even if he had wanted to say something about it, he was too late. He stopped walking and rested his back against a tree. His legs quivered and he panted while he hadn't done anything that could put a strain on his body in the slightest.

Maybe he better could have said something before he had felt the effects of the poison, so he could have gone home to let himself be treated. He squeezed his eyes shut in desperation. He wasn't ready to die yet. He still had to save a lot of akuma and the Order needed him in the fight against the Noah.

One last time he tried to take a few steps, but his legs gave way and he met the ground with a smack. He tried to get up, but his hands seemed pretty weak too. His head swam, the world was blurry and odd.

That's the reason it took so long for him to realise that the dark spot that was moving in on him was the other exorcist that had apparently noticed something was wrong after all. He crouched in front of him with a grumpy expression. 'Oi, Moyashi, what's wrong?'

'It's Allen,' the boy whispered back with a fading voice. 'Just remember it already.'

Kanda seemed to wait for more, but when his companion didn't say anything anymore he asked again, this time a bit less irritated: 'What is wrong?'

'Poison,' Allen whispered so softly Kanda had to bow down to him to be able to hear it. 'The akuma's dark matter was poison. I think I got hit accidentally.'

'Tssk.' But that was all he said about it. To Allen's surprise he did take the arm this time and wrapped it around his neck. However when he found out he wasn't supporting but carrying Allen, who was just too weak to even carry a little bit of his weight, he switched to another tactic and pulled Allen on his back.

When he had made sure Allen wouldn't fall off he started walking again. 'Tssk, you stupid Moyashi. You always get in trouble,' he growled as he continued their journey in the forest.

There came no response, because the one on his back was too tired to say anything. He just gasped for air, feeling like he was being burned alive. The hazy surroundings now began to mingle with darkness and his eyelids felt incredibly heavy. He knew he had to make sure not to fall asleep, but the force that was shutting his mind down was just too strong. While the forest slid past them, Allen lost all feeling for space and time. His consciousness was being overwhelmed by the darkness.


	3. Chapter 3

Kanda: 'Why are you smiling while writing this...' *casts me a deathglare* 'You enjoy writing this FAR TOO MUCH! This isn't about your friends who made you do this anymore! You like writing this yourself!'

Me: *gets pale* 'No, I... I d... don't.'

Lavi: 'Heh? She's blushing... I think she's lying.'

Kanda: 'Mugen, activate.'

Me: 'JAAAAA!' *flees with Kanda chasing her*

* * *

**Chapter 3**

_Hot… So Hot… Like he was standing in the middle of flames and he couldn't find a way out. He tried to breathe, but there was no air either. His lungs and throat burned and his head ached like his master had just hit it with that hammer again. Stop, he thought, please stop it already, it hurts! _

_But it didn't help. The pain continued and he was just as helpless as before. The weird thing was, that even though he could feel the hotness of the fire, he couldn't see the light. There was only darkness here. Thick, suffocating darkness. Where was Mana?!_

Suddenly Allen realized he was lying on his side. His senses returned, but the pain was still there, just as bad as before. It paralyzed him, only leaving him able to open his eyes. And so he did.

His sight was still foggy, but he could make out a clearing and Kanda sitting with his back to him, eating something.

His throat was sore and screamed for water. With a lot of effort he tried to move and push himself up, but his arms already gave up before he had lifted himself halfway.

He laid there, panting, collecting energy to try again, when Kanda turned around. 'Moyashi, you're awake. What do you want?'

'Water,' Allen whispered, 'Where's the water?'

The other exorcist took the bottle and threw it to him. It landed just in front of the thirsty boy.

Allen took it and opened it. Then he tried to drink, but as he couldn't lift himself it was nearly impossible to get the water in his mouth in a good way. Suddenly a hand appeared and took over the bottle. Another one lifted him a little, making it possible to swallow mouthfuls of the gratefully accepted liquid.

When he was done Kanda let go of him and put the bottle away. 'Are you hungry?'

Allen looked up to him, suddenly being aware of an uncomfortable feeling that had fallen away in comparison to the pain that tortured his body. He nodded, but had to notice that already cost him a lot of energy.

His companion walked away and took some time preparing a meal, then he came back with some soba. He put it in front of Allen, who tried to take it from him eagerly. Kanda didn't seem to like that: 'Are you an idiot? You can't eat like this, you'll topple it over and spill all of it. Just wait a moment.'

Then the hands were there again and helped him to get up in a sitting position. The left supported his back, the right held the soba. Allen only had to put the food in his mouth himself.

Within no-time the food was gone and his belly still felt rather empty. 'Do you have more?'

'Tsssk… Like I would take enough with me to feed you. You will have to do with this.'

Kanda laid him back down again, but so harshly that Allen's head hurt even more after. The boy gasped for breath and felt a slight desire to scold the other for it, but he was just too tired to start a fight.

'Ne, Kanda, is it really that hot or is it me?' He asked instead.

'It's not hot at all,' the other grumbled.

Allen fell silent and tried to take his mind off the overruling heat that was terrorizing his body. He closed his eyes and, even though he had expected himself to be kept awake by the pain, fell asleep within a few seconds.

* * *

On the verge of waking up Allen could feel all the pain returning. However, when he had come back enough to think a little, he realized his right arm felt a bit numb. He knew that was probably a bad sign.

Then he noticed that his body was moving. It went up and down in a regular pace, making his head spin by the movement. He lay on somebody's back, he could feel it. His legs were being held by hands and his arms were draped around a neck. His chin rested on the shoulder, so that a few long strands of hair tickled his face.

Dark hair, he realised when he had opened his eyes a little. It must be Kanda's.

The other didn't seem to have noticed his awakening, because he kept walking in silence. His gaze was fixed on the ground where moss paw prints lead the way.

'So, it has started walking again,' Allen whispered softly.

Kanda nearly threw him off of surprise so that his companion had to suppress a yelp of shock. 'Moyashi, it was about time you woke up. It's the end of the afternoon already. How long did you plan to sleep?'

'It's Allen, and I didn't sleep this long on purpose.'

Kanda snorted. 'While you were sleeping, I already found a track and it seems quite fresh. It's a good thing I'm not as lazy as you.'

'Wha… I'm not lazy!' Allen snapped weakly. 'I'd rather walk than ride your back. That girly hair of yours makes me sneeze anyway. It's nearly in my nose!'

'Then walk.' And after those words Kanda simply let go of him.

Allen, now that his support was gone, slid off and met the ground with a scream of pain. 'You idiot, is that how you treat the injured?! Even I got a better education from my master than that!'

'Tsssk.' Kanda turned around and glared at him. 'You said you wanted to walk, then walk.' He turned around and continued to follow the trail.

'You know I can't!' Somehow this seemed awfully familiar to Allen, and that filled him with even more rage, nearly enough to be glad when the other exorcist would leave him behind, but he couldn't keep lying here. However, he couldn't help but notice that the cold earth felt really good against his feverish cheek when he turned his face to push it against the ground.

Kanda had stopped and came back. 'Then stop mocking. You're already slowing me down enough.' He pulled Allen up on his back again. 'I might just leave you lying somewhere if you don't just keep quiet for a while.'

Normally the boy would have protested, but the exhaustion suddenly returned like a wave. It made him gasp for air. Maybe it was better not to say anything anymore anyway. Kanda just wasn't worth it to waste words on.

The man seemed to notice the change by the stiffening of his companion's muscles, but because the other had taken his words in consideration and didn't say anything anymore he just kept silent and started walking again.

The trail got fresher and fresher until they had reached the point that they would even have expected the wolf to just appear somewhere in front of them. They had been walking for hours already and Allen had woken again after a short nap, so he was fit enough to check the surroundings for possible akuma.

They had held on to the promise and not said a word anymore. They continued their mission in silence, acting like the other didn't even exist, even though that was nearly impossible because they were so close to each other. Allen was sure Kanda could feel his breath in his neck and he just couldn't stand the hair that kept touching his face all the time. He would have tried to remove it, weren't it so that his arms just didn't really listen to him.

Suddenly Kanda came to a halt.

Allen tried to see what had made him stop. It took some time for his blurry vision to distinguish the wolf-like shape in between all the plants which all carried the same colour.

'How will we be able to catch it? You can't just chase it, it will fuse with the forest again.'

'Tssk,' the irritated Kanda answered.

The wolf seemed to have heard the voices behind it and turned its head. Two holes where the eyes should be gazed directly at them.

'I could try to catch it with Clown Belt. It has worked before when I couldn't move.'

Allen could see Kanda tried to estimate the wolf's actions, but it was nearly impossible to do that to a non-living creature.

'Fine, but make sure it works. I want to go back at the order as soon as possible.'

'Like I don't,' the boy snorted back in irritation. Then he activated his innocence, although he could already feel it draining the last energy he possessed.

After a moment to collect the strength he threw Clown Belt to the wolf-like creature.

It jumped in surprise and tried to flee, but the white belt was faster and caught it mid-air. Then it quickly pulled it to them.

Kanda immediately let go of his load with his right hand and sliced the animal's stomach open with Mugen. Before the vines could close the hole he reached in it and pulled out the glowing innocence.

Allen screamed in surprise as his right side suddenly began to fall. Crown Clown deactivated right away and left him unprotected as his whole body tilted over to the right. Just when he closed his eyes and prepared for the blow, Kanda caught him by his shirt to prevent his head from hitting the ground.

'Can't you just try to hold on to something for a few seconds?' Kanda growled. 'You're such a burden. I could have better gone on this mission without you.'

'Well, I'm sorry, I didn't expect you to just let me fall!'

The dark-haired exorcist pulled him on his back again and turned around. 'Let's go back for now. We won't be able to get back today, but maybe we can arrive tomorrow in the afternoon if we're fast.'

Allen nodded and let the other do all the walking while he just tried to keep an eye on possible enemies.

After some time, however, he lost the concentration for it. The fire from his dream seemed to be fueled and it raged through his body. Sweat streamed not only down his back anymore, but also drenched the rest of his clothes and his face. His hair stuck to his head in heavy strands. He weakly clenched Kanda's shirt in his hands and tried to concentrate on his breath, which more seemed like panting now.

'Moyashi, stop that,' Kanda moaned. 'You're making me wet.'

As no response came from his companion Kanda turned his head. He observed the face of the injured one on his shoulder. 'Want me to stop?'

'N… no,' Allen managed to whisper.

Nevertheless they stopped. He was being put down on the ground. Gratefully he pressed his cheek to the colder earth. But this wasn't what he wanted. They had to move on. The longer they spent here, the later they would return at the order.

Suddenly something extremely cold was placed in his neck. He sighed in infinite relief as he felt the coldness spread through his body and extinguish some of the flames inside of him. Another thing appeared on his forehead.

Kanda bound the wet piece of cloth on his forehead and took away the one he had put on the neck.

Allen just wanted to ask it back, when Kanda pulled him on his back again and already laid it back in place.

It wasn't much and the pieces of cloth warmed up soon too, but it gave him some comfort. It also made him aware of the fact that he was really thirsty, but he didn't even have to ask for water. Suddenly Kanda already offered him the bottle and let him drink with eager gulps until he began to feel sick of too much water at once. The bottle was put away again and their journey back home continued.

Allen wasn't really conscious the following hours. He drifted in and out of sleep. Sometimes being awake, but not really there. He noticed that Kanda stopped every now and then to wet the pieces again. His sight was too foggy to really see anything, but he could feel it when the new coldness was being pressed against his burning face. He also thanked the other once, but he never got to hear the answer because he sunk away again in one of his feverish dreams. They seemed to overlap with the real world, leaking into it and making him doubt what was real and what not. Maybe he wasn't here with Kanda at all. It was probably Lenalee or Lavi. Or maybe he dreamed everything about being an exorcist and he would wake up at Mana's side again.

It took a long time for his fever to diminish a bit, but when it finally did he fell in a deep, dark sleep, exhausted as he was from fighting for his life.


	4. Chapter 4

Road: 'I don't like this story...'

Me: 'Why not?'

Road: 'You should pair Allen up with me. Why don't you write a story of the two of us? That would be a far more interesting one.'

Me: 'Oh, I'm sorry, Road, I shouldn't have asked. Well, maybe I will, but not anytime soon, I've got a lot to write already and this story will become pretty long. I'm also still busy with school too and I don't have a family like yours that helps me with my homework.'

Road: 'hmpf, how boring. And you're right, I always make Tyki and the earl help me with my homework. You just have to be sweet and firm, that will persuade them, but of course I must admit I DO have the most wonderful family there is.'

Me: '... well, I don't think that will work for me...'

* * *

**Chapter 4**

He woke again in the middle of the night. The sudden awakening left him confused at first, not knowing what had caused him to leave the deep, peaceful sleep that had taken him over.

That moment didn't take long though, because he felt his insides cramp and he coughed severely. He moaned in pain as his body seemed to be ripped apart from the inside out. His lungs seemed to want to push out all the air inside of it. He could hardly breathe.

He coughed again and rolled himself into a ball, his hands clamped around his chest. He didn't get any air! He was going to die like this for sure. His lungs just refused all cooperation.

'Moyashi, are you awake?'

Allen looked up, but he couldn't see anything but darkness. He was sure he had heard Kanda's voice coming from in front of him. 'Kanda,' he gasped in desperation, 'please, I can't breathe.' The last words seemed to disappear as the coughing tortured his wounded body again.

He heard footsteps closing in then two hands picked him up. His back was straightened by them and he felt how his cheek rested on Kanda's chest. Now that he was sitting upright and his face was slightly tilted upwards he felt some of the burden in his chest fall away, making space to take in the fatally needed air.

He panted, too busy with fighting to breathe to notice the alarming wheezing sound he produced. However the problems still weren't solved. He screamed when pain shot through his body and made him cough again.

'Moyashi, hold on, you can't die here yet.'

Allen tried to concentrate on the voice that was talking to him to be able to forget the pain, but it didn't help enough. He coughed again, this time the taste of iron filled his mouth and he was aware of red liquid splattering on his clothes.

'Oi, Moyashi,' the other exorcist grunted now, 'get yourself together. We can't have you leave yet. Besides you're making my clothes dirty too.'

Normally it would have surprised Allen that his companion was worried about him, but he could think of nothing else than surviving right now.

'Tsssk,' Kanda said when Allen coughed blood again and moaned when it felt like a knife was being buried in his stomach. 'Come on now, Moyashi.'

'It's Allen, make sure you remember it so I won't kill you when I feel better again.'

The soft whisper seemed to surprise Kanda, then he smiled. He actually SMILED!

Allen tried to fake a smile too, but another wave of pain stroke his body and made him grimace.

'hmpf,' Kanda protested, but it sounded light-hearted for once. 'Like I'd let you kill me. You'd better make sure you will recover so I can kill you instead.'

Another stream of blood left the boy's mouth. 'I won't let get myself killed so easily,' he panted. He clasped Kanda's shirt in his hands and closed his eyes. His lungs felt raw and like an open wound. They hurt with every breath, they nearly made him want to cry. 'I'm sorry, Kanda.' He whispered softly. 'I shouldn't have been so stubborn. I should have told you about it before I fell ill.'

The eyes of his companion revealed a second of surprise, but he recovered quickly. 'I guess I could have acted different as well,' he answered reluctantly.

Allen knew this was as close to an apology he would ever get and felt a bit better. 'Maybe we should try to be nicer to each other sometimes.'

'Tsssk, don't get cocky now, Moyashi.'

Allen grinned, then winced as all his muscles cramped again. 'Fine, only when it's really needed then.'

Kanda met his eyes then turned his gaze away again. 'No… you're right. We could at least act like we're on the same side.'

'Really, are you? I always thought you were on your own side,' Allen teased.

'Shut up, Moyashi.'

'Maybe you should first begin with calling me "Allen" for once.' He coughed.

'Why would I?'

'Because it's not that hard. Actually it's a shorter word. And it would make it easier for me not to try to kill you.'

'hmpf…'

It stayed silent for a moment, except for the sound of Allen's heavy breathing and coughing.

'Fine then, ALLEN, does this sound better to you?' Kanda groaned.

The boy managed to smile. 'Yeah, a lot better. See, it wasn't that hard, was it?'

'hmpf, it sounds weird. Moyashi is more suitable to you. Especially when you're nearly dying like this.'

Allen grimaced. 'Well thank you, that sounded really nice. I can see you're trying to get along with me better.'

Kanda turned his face away again.

'Okay, let's make a deal. I won't kill you for calling me Moyashi if you call me by my name when we're with only the two of us. That should help you to get used to it.'

'heh?' Kanda smirked at him. 'So you won't get mad anymore when I'll call you that in public?'

'I said I wouldn't KILL you, I never…' He hissed to keep himself from crying out loud when another pang of pain shot through his body. He needed a few seconds to recover from it before continuing what he had wanted to say with even a weaker voice than before. 'I never said anything about getting mad.'

'Fine,' Kanda answered with the same amused smirk on his face. 'That's a deal. Then you should stop calling me 'idiot' or 'jerk' in those times.

Allen clamped his lips together in disagreement, but he understood that it was the only way to make the other keep his promise. 'Fine, I will.'

Then they stayed silent again. Allen still got tortured by attacks of pain and coughed up blood, but slowly the intervals between them became longer.

He was sure they already sat there for hours when he finally noticed he was falling asleep. He looked up at Kanda who was eyeing the environment. 'Mind if I sleep a bit?'

The other shook his head. 'It's probably better if you do.'

Allen slowly let his eyelids drop and let himself get carried away by the darkness again, that seemed awfully comfortable after all the suffering he had been through.


	5. Chapter 5

Me: 'Thank you for all the positive reactions :D I hadn't expected so many of them. It really motivates me to continue.'

Kanda: 'Well, you won't see any more of them, because I'm going to cut you to pieces now.' *draws Mugen*

Me: 'Wait, Kanda, you can't do that! T-T Why is everyone threatening me with katana's today?'

Allen: 'Wait, Kanda, you can't do that indeed! If she doesn't continue I will be poisoned forever, let her at least cure me!'

Kanda: 'Shut up, Moyashi.'

Allen: 'It's Allen.'

Kanda and Allen: *glaring at each other, flames appear*

Me: *whispers so soft that the two that are fighting won't hear* 'Thank you, Allen, you just saved my life by distracting Kanda. Now I can at least write a new chapter.'

Lavi: 'What, it's so important to you that you keep risking your life?!'

Me: 'YES! I like this story and like the reactions. So everyone, please keep favouriting, following and reviewing, while I try to avoid being sliced in half by Mugen. Have to go now that Kanda is distracted though, so bye! Have fun reading the new chapter.'

* * *

"Oi… Oi… Moyashi… wake up!'

The voice sounded so urgent that Allen slowly opened his eyes. The lids were so heavy that it already cost him nearly all of his energy. Then he noticed that his lungs were empty and raw and he gasped for air. He coughed after a few heavy breaths and started panting again. 'You would call me "Allen" remember,' he whispered when he found enough air to.

'Make sure you stay awake,' Kanda snapped, ignoring the protest. 'You weren't breathing anymore.'

'Okay,' Allen said breathless, but his eyes wanted something else. They pleaded him to close them and let the darkness take over his mind again. He tried to concentrate on finding out where he was instead and noticed Kanda was carrying him again. The forest had disappeared and they were walking through a city now. The train station should be right ahead, but his sight was too blurry to make out things that were more than three meters ahead of them.

He felt so tired. He must have slept the whole day again, because the shadows were growing long and soon the sun disappeared behind the houses. Maybe he could close his eyes for a few seconds. Just to collect energy to open them again. His eyelids already closed before he had really finished the thought. It was probably not that bad to rest a little…

'You're not listening,' Kanda grunted. 'You're just falling asleep again. If you do you'll probably die.'

Allen obliged himself to open his eyes again after those words. Kanda was right. He was falling asleep again. But how could he keep himself from that? His body didn't hurt anymore, it only felt numb, his lungs asked him to just let them rest a little, but he couldn't, he wasn't allowed to die yet. If the pain from the night would just come back… It had been really bad, and of course he didn't want to experience something painful like that again, but at least it would be able to keep him awake. 'Kanda, can't you just talk a bit? Maybe that'll keep me awake.'

'Tsssk,' Kanda turned his face away from him. 'Why do I have to keep you awake?'

'Okay, then not. But don't get mad at me for dying.'

'Tsssk, you stupid Moya…'

'You would call me "Allen", we made a promise this night remember.'

'Fine, stupid Allen.'

'That's better. Why don't you act like I'm Komui and you have to report a mission to me. That mustn't be that hard on you. It might help me to keep from falling asleep.'

Kanda stayed silent for a moment. 'What mission?'

'Maybe one I don't know of yet, you must have been on countless missions already.'

His companion kept quiet and Allen just thought he wouldn't get any story at all when Kanda began talking. He did exactly as he was asked and reported like he was standing in front of Komui. When he found out his listener was still awake after it he continued with another mission.

They entered the train and instead of laying him down on the bench in front of him, Kanda held him in a straight position, so that it was easier for him to breath. The black-haired exorcist was still talking with a grumpy expression on his face that showed clearly how reluctant he was to say so much. But he had seen how effective it was and didn't want to stop with the risk of his companion falling to sleep again.

However, halfway their trainride words began to slip past Allen's mind. He lost the context of the story and noticed how Kanda's voice drifted further and further away from him. He tried to say something, to warn the other that his conscious was slipping away, but it was too late. His mouth and tongue were too numb to pronounce any sound and his eyelids fell shut. He tried another last time to get back to the real world, but the darkness closed in on him and pulled him back down.

* * *

That day the whole order started to gossip as Kanda returned. The rumour was that he had been carrying one of his fellow-exorcists. That wasn't really that astounding, but as it turned out to be the one he hated most the event suddenly seemed really interesting.

Lavi was shocked when the news reached him and immediately hurried to the infirmary. There he indeed found both of his friends. One was just coming out of the room, the other lay on a bed, nearly as pale as the white hair that covered his face.

'Yu, what happened?!'

The exorcist turned around with murderous intent in his eyes. He was apparently in a bad mood after his mission. 'Call me that again and I'll cut your throat open so that all your blood will spill on the floor.'

Lavi took a step back with a horrid expression on his face. 'Alright, calm down. Just what happened to Allen?'

'Tsssk,' Yu turned around. 'The stupid Moyashi got poisoned by an akuma.'

'I thought the virus didn't work on parasitic type accommodators,' Lavi responded confused.

'It wasn't the virus, it was it's dark matter.' With those words he walked away and left Lavi alone in front of the infirmary.

He stood there a little longer, then he entered the room to check on Allen.

However the nurse immediately pushed him out, before he could even see his friend properly. 'Get out, we're trying to take care of him, you'll only stand in the way. You can come by later.'

'Will he be okay?' Lavi asked worriedly.

The nurse stopped in the doorway for a moment. 'We'll do our best, but he's in really bad shape. You'll hear from us when we know more. Now go back to your room.' She slammed the door shut.

Lavi sighed and walked away, still worried about his sick friend. Hopefully Allen would recover without serious complications. He didn't even want to think about losing one of the exorcist who had become such close friends to him.

* * *

The numbness was gone and had made place for pain again, but it wasn't as bad as before. Allen also noticed that he was able to breathe again. He opened his eyes and stared straight to a pure white ceiling. On the same moment he noticed he was laid down on a soft bed.

I'm back, he thought while relief rushed through him, I'm home.

The head nurse appeared next to his bed. 'How are you feeling?'

Allen smiled slightly. 'A lot better already. How long have I been asleep?'

'You've slept for two whole days when you came back but you must be more careful from now on,' she scolded him. 'The science department was only just in time to develop an antidote before you died. After that your body needed a lot of rest to recover.'

He looked back at the ceiling and let his hands slide over the soft blankets that were covering him. He had slept a long time, but he could feel it had been good for him. 'How long will it take for me to recover?'

The nurse shot him a warning glance that told him not to think about escaping the infirmary before he had recovered completely. She knew the exorcists very well, they always sneaked away when she wasn't looking. They were just too restless to keep lying in a bed for so long. 'You will probably feel healthy in no-time again, but you'll be tired and you'll need sleep. You may leave in a few days, but you're not permitted to go on a mission for a whole week. We have to make sure the antidote cured you well enough.'

Allen grimaced. That was quite some time. He had hoped to go on a mission in a few days already, but he knew he couldn't if the head nurse didn't give him permission. She had probably told Komui already and he would make sure Allen would get the rest he needed.

'But you should try to sleep now,' the nurse told him. 'You need rest to recover.'

Allen nodded and watched her leave. Then he continued to stare at the ceiling. She was right, but he didn't feel like sleeping yet. He had just woken up and he wasn't that tired at the moment at all.

Suddenly some turmoil at the door caught his attention. The nurse tried to send some people away, but they tried just as hard to come in.

'Come on, nurse,' Lavi pleaded. 'We'll only stay for a few minutes, but we want to see him. He's our friend.'

'He needs rest, you can visit him tomorrow.'

'Please,' Lenalee begged.

That seemed to be the deciding factor and she reluctantly let them in. 'But only for a few minutes.'

Lavi stood next to Allen's bed in a few seconds. Kanda, who had obviously been pulled with them against his will, followed him with a grumpy face. Lenalee followed a bit later.

'Hey, buddy, I see you're awake,' Lavi smiled. 'How do you feel?'

Allen returned the smile. 'Good, I think it won't take long for me to recover anymore.'

Lenalee smiled now too. 'We were really worried when Kanda brought you in. You were in really bad shape. We thought you were about to die.'

He blushed uncomfortably. He had made his friends worry again. 'I'm sorry, I'll be more careful from now on. But I'm okay now.'

There were a lot of things they wanted to say to each other, but the head nurse already had had enough of it. 'You've heard him, he feels better now. Now leave.' She drove them away angrily and they all left. Just before the door shut Allen remembered something. 'Kanda,' he called so that the man stopped to listen. 'Th… thank you.' The boy muttered reluctantly.

The other exorcist seemed surprised, but before he could say anything, the nurse had closed the door. 'And now go to sleep. You're still ill.'

Allen sighed and closed his eyes. He turned around until he was lying in a comfortable position. Although he hadn't felt like sleeping before he already felt pretty tired now. The short moment of meeting his friends had made him happy but had also drained some of little energy he had. Within a few minutes he was gone again to visit the world of his dreams.


	6. Chapter 6

Lavi: 'Really, a freezer? That is so cliché.'

Me: 'Shut up, Lavi, I didn't have a choice. I have to bring those two together and that's really hard. I'm ahead a few chapters with writing and I have written 22 500 words already and they finally feel a little bit of something for each other. Do you know how frustrating that is?!'

Lavi: 'Wow, calm down, don't yell at me. It's alright, I understand, but a freezer?'

Me: 'I just couldn't ignore that idea when it popped up into my head, okay.'

Lavi: 'Well, I must admit, there are a lot of possibilities. Although it's probably too cold to strip...'

Me: 'Lavi! Why are all my friends pushing me to make them strip? They aren't even near that stage yet. Give them some time to fall in love first, then a relationship, a cute first kiss. They are nearly enemies in the beginning, give those boys a bit of time. That's what this all is about. There's no fun in writing something that's unbelievable because Allen just kisses Kanda directly or the other way around, do you understand?'

Lavi: 'Hmm, I see, you have a point. Fine I'll have some more patience, but better do it really good then.'

Me: *looks worried* 'Don't have too high expectations of me... By the way, this was my first time writing about Jerry, I hope I've done it good enough. Have fun reading it.'

Allen: *sighs* 'And like that all the bad things happen to me again.'

* * *

He woke again in the middle of the night. A normal human wouldn't have seen anything, but Allen had developed a sort of night vision in his training days with Cross and thus could still see the contours of the furniture in the room.

His stomach growled impatiently and reminded him of the cause of his awakening. He hadn't eaten for days, it was only understandable he was really hungry now. Why hadn't the nurse given him food when he was awake?!

He groaned when a new pang of hunger bullied his body. He wanted food, and a lot of it, right now. But it was the middle of the night. The nurses were probably sleeping and he couldn't see any food in the room.

Slowly he pushed himself in a sitting position and realised that it went pretty easy. He didn't feel tired at all and the pain seemed gone. The only thing that was irritating him now was that he was starving.

As silent as he could he left his bed and walked over to the door. He looked around to make sure nobody would see him sneaking out and entered the hallway.

After the time he spent in the order he knew very well that even in the middle of the night the building wasn't empty. Most people were sleeping, but the science department worked day and night, most of the time asking too much of its workers. That was why Allen avoided that section of the building and went to the dining hall through empty and dark corridors.

However the hall was empty and all the food was already put away. Allen looked everywhere but he couldn't find anything. 'I guess no-one takes midnight snacks here.' He whispered to himself desperated.

'Oi, Moyashi, what are you doing, wandering the building at this hour?'

Allen turned around and glared at Kanda who had just broken his promise again.

'Allen, I mean,' the other grunted reluctantly.

'I'm searching for food. I'm hungry.' His stomach rumbled loudly as if it wanted to underline his words.

'You should go back to the infirmary and sleep.'

'I can't, I'm too hungry to sleep. Really, Kanda, I'm starving!'

The other sighed. 'Well, they store their food somewhere, don't they? Why don't you go to the kitchen, it must be somewhere around there.'

Allen was surprised that Kanda helped him, but when his belly growled again he didn't care anymore. He walked over to the kitchen and started searching there, but all he found where spices and little pieces of food that would only make him hungrier if he would eat them.

He turned to Kanda, who had followed him and was observing him from a distance. 'There's nothing here. By the way, why are YOU here?'

Kanda averted his gaze. 'I heard you thrashing about in the corridors and thought it would be bad if you would faint and die in the middle of the night. It would make all my hard work for nothing.'

'I wasn't thrashing about! I was really silent,' Allen snapped back, but his body interrupted him by telling him again that he was hungry. He sighed and laid an arm over his stomach. 'So hungry… I might indeed faint like this. But not of the poison but of hunger.'

'Tssk'

It stayed silent for a moment while Allen was thinking of another way to get food, but his mind didn't work well when he was starving. He felt too light-headed to come up with good ideas.

'There should be a storage room next to the kitchen,' Kanda told him reluctantly.

'There is? Oh yeah, of course there is,' he corrected himself. 'Where would they get all that food otherwise? Where is it?'

Kanda finally left the place he had been standing since Allen had started searching and walked through the kitchen. He kept standing in a corner and looked back at Allen as if he tried to say: 'What are you waiting for, come here already, you stupid Moyashi.'

Allen raged by the fact that he could even hear Kanda call him Moyashi when he actually didn't and walked over to him.

There was a big, heavy door in the wall. It didn't really look like a storage room, but at that moment Allen couldn't think well enough to remember what it DID look like. Well, it was the most promising thing since he had left his bed and thus he opened it.

Immediately they were embraced by the freezing coldness that floated out of the doorway. Ice was packed up at the walls of the other room and it was filled with thousands of boxes and pieces of meat.

Then it finally occurred to him: a freezer, they had found a giant freezer. Allen stepped inside and looked around. 'Well, it isn't a storage room, but there is a lot of food here, let's just take some of this and warm it. There should be enough for me to eat.'

Kanda only stood there in the doorway without saying anything.

'Come on, Kanda, help me a bit, you know it's too much for me to carry. I might faint if I have to carry too much.'

'Tsssk.' But he indeed left his post and walked in to take a box. 'Better not be picky on what I take out for you.'

'I won't,' Allen responded satisfied. 'I would be glad with anything. If I wouldn't have found this I might have actually considered eating you, although it would probably give me a lot of stomach pains.'

'Shut up, Moy…' He just broke off the sentence, but didn't bother to use his real name.

It enraged Allen, but he was glad already that Kanda at least had tried to stop calling him 'Moyashi'.

A loud 'BANG' shocked them both and made them look back the way they had come. The door had closed.

With an ominous feeling Allen walked back to the entrance. He pushed against the door, but it didn't open. 'Uhm… Kanda, I think we've got a problem.'

'Move it, stupid...'

Allen turned around and screamed in terror as Kanda drew Mugen and dashed forward, right in his direction. He managed to jump aside just in time to avoid the katana that hit the door with fearsome force.

However it didn't even budge.

Kanda froze in surprise and Allen gasped in horror.

'It must have been made by the science department,' the boy whispered devastated. 'It's probably made to even withstand innocence… It's no use…' Then his belly rumbled. 'And I'm still hungry too,' he cried out.

'Shut up!' Kanda frowned as he tried hard to think of something.

Allen kept quiet, putting all his hopes on his companion. Meanwhile he had started to shiver and suddenly became aware of his cold pyjama that he had received at the infirmary. This wasn't clothing to be stuck in a freezer with. Not that he had any clothes that would keep him warm enough here, but at least his exorcist coat would have been able to keep him warm somewhat longer.

All his hope sank when he saw Kanda sigh and take a seat against a wall of boxes. He apparently couldn't think of something either.

Allen started to panic now and pounded on the door. 'Help! Let us out. We're stuck here!'

'Stop that Moya… Allen, there's nobody there, they are all sleeping.'

Allen sunk to his knees. Kanda was right. No-one would hear them. He was stuck in a freezer, with Kanda, while he was starving. Somehow bad things seemed to happen every time he was with the other exorcist.

He stood up after a few minutes and sat down against the same pile of boxes, a meter apart from Kanda. They could better just wait here until they would hear people coming back in the morning. Fortunately Jerry started cooking pretty early because there were so many people to take care of.

They sat for minutes, maybe even hours (time is hard to keep track of when you are stuck in a freezer) and Allen felt the cold seep through his skin, all the way to his bones. He trembled violently and his teeth chattered so hard that he thought they could break every moment.

Kanda looked sideways, also shivering himself, but seemingly less influenced by the freezing air. 'Are you okay?'

'I… I'm f… f… f… fine…' Allen stammered while clouds of steam left his mouth. 'J… j… just a b… b… b… bit cold.'

'You'll catch a cold and fall ill again if we stay here like this. If you won't die here on the spot already that is.'

'Th… th… thank you K… K… Kanda for t… t… trying to ch… ch… cheer me up,' Allen responded sarcastically.

Kanda stayed silent and observed him for a little longer with his usual grumpy expression. It made Allen feel a bit awkward, as the gaze kept resting on him a long time and he just couldn't figure out what he was thinking.

'Come closer, it's best to share some body warmth in this kind of situations.'

With satisfaction Allen also detected a slight trembling in Kanda's voice, revealing he was also getting uncomfortably cold now. The idea of getting close to the exorcist he always fought with met some resistance in his mind, but his body already knew pretty well what it wanted. It wanted warmth and NOW! He had no other choice but to listen and scooted a little closer.

However there were still 30 centimetres separating them, making it very unlikely for them to feel warmth from each other at all.

As the time went on Allen was too stubborn to move in closer, even when his fingers and toes started to feel awfully numb. He shot a glance at the one next to him and saw that he trembled now as well and heard his teeth clatter.

A few more minutes went past until Kanda shoved a bit closer too. Finally leaving such a little distance that Allen could feel his side growing a little bit warmer.

His mind responded immediately: it had been searching for this warmth. The longing to huddle together with Kanda suddenly seemed a lot stronger than his moral objections. It would keep him alive, and wasn't that worth to do little things he would regret later? When you were fighting for your life everything was allowed, right? He had been close to Kanda before when he hadn't been able to breath. He even had laid on his back for hours with the long dark hair nearly in his nose because it had been the only way to survive. And it was not like the other exorcist could moan about it, as he was just as cold and obviously wanted the warmth too.

It took another minute to really persuade himself, but then he finally moved in even closer until he felt Kanda's arm against his. The man responded by pushing himself closer too.

'It's really c… c… c… cold, huh?' Allen whispered.

Kanda grunted an agreement.

More time passed and Allen now lost all feeling in his whole hands and feet. They didn't even seem to be part of his body anymore.

He crept closer to Kanda who wrapped his arms around him and pulled him against his chest to trap more of their essential warmth. 'Th… This is all your f… f… fault you stupid Moyashi. Y… You should j… just have w… w… waited until morning.'

It took a while for Allen's foggy mind to understand what his companion meant. The memories of him searching food returned and he even felt slightly guilty for involving Kanda in this. His stomach had already fallen quiet sometime and the thought of food had lost against the desire for warmth.

Kanda's trembling arms tightened their grip around him. 'It's so d… d… damn c… c… cold.'

Allen didn't answer. He felt oddly sleepy all of a sudden. His body had gone numb again, what was a relief after all the uncomfortable coldness.

'Allen, y… y… you're still there? You seem t… t… to be awfully light c… c… clothed.'

He nodded slightly letting his head rest on the somewhat warmer chest. 'J… just sleepy… Y… You're so warm…,' he sighed softly while his eyes fell shut.

'D… Don't, y… y… you have to stay awake… How many t… t… times will I have t… t… to t… tell you?'

'You'll have t… to t… tell me until you'll l… l… let me d… die for once.'

'tsssk.'

Allen chuckled slightly. 'Y… you really like th… that sound huh? Y… you even use it while y… you're dying of c… cold.'

'Sh… sh… shut up, Allen.'

They remained silent again. Allen noticed vaguely that Kanda's shivering slowly reduced too. His eyes also closed, although the boy was pretty sure the exorcist wouldn't fall asleep before him. He wanted to ask Kanda if his body felt numb too, but his lips were frozen and had lost all feeling.

'D… don't you d… dare to d… die now,' Kanda warned him quietly. 'I'll c… cut y… your b… body t… to p… pieces.'

Allen heard his words, but still was unable to answer. Maybe, if he still had felt something he would have noticed that Kanda's grip on him had loosened, but now he only realised the other one's limpness as Kanda's head started to rest on his.

He was nearly falling asleep when bright light streamed in and burned his eyelids. With a lot of effort he opened the eyes that were nearly frozen shut.

'Oh my, aren't those Allen and Kanda?!' Jerry's shocked voice called worriedly.

Kanda also opened his eyes, which looked glassy and foggy of sleep.

Footsteps approached them and Allen could feel a hand touch his shoulder. 'Are you two okay, say something!'

'J… jerry,' Kanda managed to whisper, even though his words were nearly inaudible even for Allen who was lying against his chest.

'Oh no, you two are in really bad shape.' He turned to the doorway. 'Let someone get the nurse. Allen and Kanda got stuck in the freezer!'

Someone responded but Allen couldn't understand what was said.

'Now, come on here, boy, I'll get you to a warmer place.' Two arms wrapped themselves around his chest and lifted him up. Then he was pulled out of the freezer into the kitchen where someone else took him over.

Jerry went back inside to get Kanda.

'Didn't anyone tell you to never go inside the freezer when there's no-one else outside who knows you're there?' The finder that held Allen asked when he saw his eyes were still open. 'All the kitchen staff and the whole science division knows the freezer has a tendency to just shut while you're inside.'

Allen blinked with his eyes two times as answer and then closed them in relief. That was the second time in two days he was saved just in time. He didn't keep his promise to be 'more careful' at all. The head nurse would surely get mad at him.

'Come, we have to warm them up,' Jerry said as he came back with the other exorcist. He started to rub Kanda harshly to produce warmth.

The finder did the same to Allen who was surprised he felt nearly nothing of it.

They kept going on like that for what seemed like hours when Allen felt the blood starting to flow again. He moaned as his body burned from it.

'It's okay, the pain will disappear soon enough,' Jerry assured them when Kanda groaned as well.

It was only then that the nurse appeared and made her way to them. She looked at both of their faces, took their temperature and shone a light in their eyes. 'They are hypothermic. We have to warm them up as soon as possible. Help me to bring them to the infirmary, we have thermal blankets there.'

'Will they be okay?' Jerry asked while he cast another worried glance at the two nearly frozen exorcists.

'They will if we'll get them warm now,' was the short answer as she walked over to Jerry to help him to carry Kanda. Meanwhile the finder picked up Allen and began carrying him in the direction of the nurse's office.

When they arrived Lavi was already there. He turned around and became pale when he saw his friend hanging limp in the arms of the finder. He ran over to them to help lay Allen down on a bed.

'What happened?' He asked when the head nurse came in with Jerry, carrying Kanda.

'The poor things got stuck in the freezer,' Jerry explained while they laid their patient on a bed as well. 'Although I have no idea what they were doing there in the middle of the night.'

Kanda shot a foggy glare at the bed next to his. 'It was the Moyashi, he was hungry,' he grunted weakly.

The head nurse grimaced. 'So he snuck out of the room and got stuck in a freezer because he was hungry? You didn' t think of waking me up to get you food for a moment?!' She threw her hands in the air in a desperate gesture. 'Really, how can I do my work when you exorcists keep doing crazy stuff and don't listen to me?'

She walked away and came back with two heated blankets.

Lavi helped to put one on Allen, Jerry and the nurse gave Kanda the other.

They both moaned again as the seemingly hot fabric was put on their skin. For a moment Allen tried to resist with weak movements, but Lavi pinned him down and told him to stop because he needed to warm up.

The boy relaxed with a heavy sigh and closed his eyes. He might as well just sleep. It wasn't forbidden now anymore.

'Thank you for helping,' he could hear the nurse say to the others, 'But you'll really have to leave now.'

'Oh my, oh my, is it this late already,' Jerry's voice mumbled from a distance. 'I have to hurry and start cooking, otherwise people will have to wait…' The other words got lost in the boundary between sleeping and waking.


	7. Chapter 7

Lavi: 'Seriously? First a freezer and now...'

Me: 'No, I won't accept it anymore. You're not going to criticize my work anymore or I'll make it very hard on you in this story, you hear me?'

Lavi: ...

Me: 'Good'

Kanda: *unsheathes Mugen* 'You're really going to far now. I'm going to cut you to pieces for sure now.'

Me: 'No, wait, stop! Please! Allen, save me!'

Allen: *dark mode* 'Kanda, don't be too rough on her, we don't want to kill her, only make her too frightened to continue.'

Me: 'EEHH, why is dark Allen showing up when I need him the most?!'

Lavi: 'Well... You could have expected that when you write something like this.'

Me: 'Lavi, Allen, help me now, or I'll write something really embarassing about you.'

Allen: *wakes up from his dark mode* 'Wait, what?! You can write something more embarassing than this?' *gets pale*

Me: *evil grin* 'Yes... yes, I can.'

Lavi: *sighs* 'Guess we've got no choice.'

Me: 'Great, another chance to write a new chapter.'

Lavi: 'And like that she risks her life again for a simple story. I won't ever understand.'

Me: 'Have fun reading it!'

* * *

Allen woke from the scent of food. His stomach growled like a wild animal in reaction to it, urging him to hurry up and gobble it down. He yawned, then opened his eyes and immediately noticed the cart stocked with a huge mountain of delicious looking food. He pushed himself into a sitting position and shivered. His body still felt cold from the inside, but at least he didn't feel numb anymore. Also the blanket felt comfortably warm now, instead of burning hot.

He looked around for a moment, to make sure it was all meant for him and then started stuffing himself like a madman.

When I think about it, he thought to himself while he swallowed a mouthful of meat, I haven't eaten a decent meal for days already.

First he had been on a mission with Kanda in the forest and he had only gotten one little portion of soba, then he had slept for two days due to the poison. When he had finally awoken he had gotten stuck in the freezer and he somehow had the feeling he had slept half a day after that too… That was nearly five days without food!

His belly rumbled as if in answer and he continued feeding it with the mountain of food that was located next to his bed.

When he had finally gotten the feeling he wouldn't starve anymore he continued eating with a relaxed speed so he could at least taste what he put in his mouth. He shot a glance to the bed next to his and noticed Kanda was awake too.

'Wan' some?' he asked with a full mouth, offering the other the leg of a chicken.

'Tssk,' the other exorcist turned his face away. 'Like I would eat crap like that.'

'Well,' Allen continued after swallowing. 'There seems to be some soba standing here. I think they brought it in case you would be hungry too.'

Kanda didn't bother to look back, but he held up his hand to receive his favourite dish.

Allen sniggered because of the obvious reaction and handed him the box of soba and the chopsticks that went with it. 'Have a nice meal.'

Kanda didn't thank him, he just began eating in silence and seemed to think of the white-haired boy as unworthy of his attention.

'Well, you're welcome,' Allen grunted irritated before burying his teeth in a chocolate tart. I hope you'll choke in it, his mind continued.

He only stopped eating when the cart was empty and thought with regret that if he had been in the dining hall he just would have ordered another cart. Now he leaned back against his pillow and pulled the warm blanket tightly around him to warm him a little better. With lack of anything else to do he just stared into the distance after noticing that Kanda had closed his eyes and begun to meditate.

He didn't understand how his roommate could spend hours like this. Just sitting still and doing nothing was boring and made him restless. He wanted to train, to talk with his friends or to make himself useful to the order. This just didn't feel good, like he was wasting the time that was so precious to all of them.

A sudden flash of golden light in the corner of his eye caught his attention. A smile spread among his face as he recognized his little buddy.

'Timcanpy! Long time no see, where have you been?'

The golden ball flew around the boy in excited circles to show how happy he was to see him.

'I'm sorry, Allen, I borrowed him again.' Komui appeared in the doorway. 'I was wondering about a few things and asked Tim to show me some recordings. It took more time than expected.'

Tim landed on Allen's hands who started poking him with his fingers in a friendly manner. 'I'm glad you're back. I missed you.'

The golem shuffled around a bit and then showed him a smile made from tiny, razor sharp teeth.

'How do you feel?' The chief asked while he came in.

'Pretty good.'

Kanda just stayed silent.

'I thought I could better pay you a vi…'

'Chief!' Reever's voice interrupted them. 'There you are! Stop running away from your work. You already knew Allen and Kanda were alright so you didn't need to pay them a visit. Now come with me to do some paperwork.' He grabbed Komui's hand and began pulling him with him.

'Oh no, Reever, you're so mean!' the man whined while he was being taken away from the infirmary. 'You all treat me like a slave!'

Then it was quiet in the room again.

Allen sighed of frustration, as the boring atmosphere had returned. He started to play with his golem again, pulling its cheeks and quickly withdrawing his hands when it tried to nibble his fingers. He chuckled a bit when Tim 'Gaaaah'-ed at him to show its pleasure. At least he wasn't alone with boring Kanda anymore, now he had Tim, who was far better company.

And indeed, Timcanpy would turn out to be the best company in the whole order for some time. Apparently Jerry had told Lavi about the way he had found the nearly frozen exorcists, who had spread a rumour through the whole building that the two who hated each other the most had made up to huddle together in a freezer. And like that especially Allen (Kanda had managed to quell it within a few hours), was teased with it for days.

* * *

'Hey, Allen, if you're not too busy, could you help me out a bit?'

Allen turned around to face Reever and smiled. 'Of course, what can I help you with?'

'Could you please take some of those boxes and take them to the storage room with me?'

The boy walked over to a mountain of boxes in the corner of the science department and picked up three of them. He had already been released from the infirmary for days now and was waiting for another exorcist job, but Komui seemed to be a bit extra careful this time to make sure Allen was in ultimate condition again when he got another mission. Kanda had already finished a job as he hadn't been infected with poison of the akuma and he had to admit it had made him slightly envious.

They walked through countless corridors, while Allen had trouble looking where he went as his load was covering most of his sight. A few times other people who were using the same hallways jumped aside just in time, afraid as they were for stuff of the science department. Everyone knew they had some serious chemicals in their possession, and then he hadn't even mentioned the dangerous robots yet. Actually, he was pretty scared of them himself, but he liked the people there and thus helped them out when he could.

It just happened that Kanda came around a corner just at the same time Allen passed it. They hadn't had a slightest clue that the other was coming. They only realised their mistake when it was already too late and they were lying over the floor already, on top of all kinds of science department rubbish that had scattered all over the floor as the boxes had slipped out of Allen's hands.

They both moaned of pain, then Kanda poked Allen in his ribs with his elbows. 'You stupid Moyashi, get off of me.'

The boy groaned again and pushed himself in a sitting position next to Kanda, who glared at him with irritation.

'Just what were you doing, Moyashi? Couldn't you watch where you were going?'

'Well, I should throw that question back at you. I couldn't see anything as three boxes were blocking my sight! You could have tried to avoid me!'

'Tsssk'

Kanda stood up, but somehow he pulled Allen with him. It was only then that they realised their wrists were stuck in something. They looked at it in confusion.

'What's this, Moyashi?'

'How should I know? And it's Allen.' Allen snapped back as he let his eyes travel over the handcuffs that attached them.

'Oh no…' They both turned around when Reever's sighing voice interrupted them. 'Not those…'

Allen's heart sank immediately. They were stuck in something, while they had fallen on science department rubbish and Reever sounded like he was tired of it already, this had to mean it was really, really bad.

'What, what is it?!' He asked with a shrill voice while sweat began running down his face. 'How bad is it?'

Reever sighed again. 'I'm sorry, guys… Those are really old already and I think we lost the keys somewhere, so that's why we wanted to put them in the storage room. They are special handcuffs we once designed. They seek the wrists of the one they have to capture themselves and then stay there until the key is being used. They are really strong, we made them to…' He fell quiet for a while. 'to be able to withstand even innocence…'

Allen felt like all the blood got sucked out of his face. Kanda stayed silent, but everyone could notice how upset he was by the murderous intent that was growing ever stronger from his direction.

'Why do you guys even keep crap like this?! No way I'm going to be stuck to the Moyashi!' He unsheathed Mugen and swung it around threateningly.

'Kanda, stop, you might actually cut of my HAND!' Allen yelled the last word with a high-pitched voice as the sword landed on the chain just a centimeter away from his wrist.

However, it hadn't even made a dent in it.

'Tssk,' Kanda commented while he started slicing it continuingly.

'Kanda, stop, it isn't working, let me try,' Allen said in an attempt to save his arm.

The other exorcist finally stopped and glared at the boy. 'If we can't break it, I'll just cut your arm off. It's all your fault anyway.'

'Don't you even try!' Allen activated Crown Clown and sighed in relief as he realised it could have been worse, as it was only stuck on his right arm now, leaving his innocence free to use. 'Crown edge!' He let his nails meet the chains with force, but as the light faded away they saw that it hadn't even scratched it.

'This is bad…' He whined now. 'How will we get this thing off?'

Suddenly chills ran over his spine and made him look up. There his eyes met a demonic Kanda, set afire with gleaming eyes, drawing Mugen again. 'Lay your arm on the ground, Moyashi.'

'JAAAAHH!' There were moments to fight Kanda, and sometimes you just knew you'd better run for your life, because fighting would be useless... This was such a moment for Allen. He turned around and fled, screaming, while Kanda followed him on a short distance, as they were still stuck to each other. Reever just watched them go with an expression that showed he didn't know what to do anymore.

"Oi, what's all the ruckus over there?' Lavi asked while he came up to Reever and observed the two exorcists that were running through the hallway. 'Why is Yu chasing Allen?'

Reever sighed. 'They got stuck to each other and it seems Kanda plans on cutting Allen's hand off. I must admit I feel sorry for him.'

'Ouch,' Lavi commented. 'Sounds like a real problem to me.'

'Well, there must be some kind of a solution, but I have no idea right now and I don't know how to stop them.'

Lavi grinned. 'I'll do that for you.'

Kanda had somehow trapped Allen between three walls and slowly walked up to him, Mugen shining in his hand. 'Time to say goodbye to your human arm, Moyashi.'

Allen pressed himself against the wall, wishing he was Tyki and he could just disappear in it. 'No, Kanda, please…' But the other made no attempt to back away. 'There must be another solution to this!' Allen cried desperate.

'Oi, Yu, stop that. Let's think of something else to get you free.'

Kanda turned around and faced Lavi with an angry glare. 'I told you not to call me that. Shut up or I'll cut your hand off too.'

Lavi seemed to become a little bit anxious now that the murderous intent seemed to shift to him. 'Come on, cutting hands off will make a big mess. Think of all the blood that will spill and it will only make your workload as an exorcist higher.'

'Tsssk,' Kanda put Mugen away. 'You're safe for now, Moyashi,' he said as he glared to Allen who was still stuck to the wall. 'But if this takes too long I'll still cut it off.'

Then he walked away, pulling the shivering, traumatised boy with him.

'Thanks, Lavi,' Allen whispered. 'You've just saved my arm.'

'You're welcome.' Lavi gave him an reassuring smile. 'That's where friends are for. I know Yu can be a bit unreasonable sometimes.'

They continued their route to the science department, where they hoped someone would be able to fix the situation. Reever followed them with a deep frown embedded in his face as he was probably thinking hard of a solution.

'Hey, guys,' Johnny greeted them with a worried look when they had arrived. 'I heard Allen screaming all the way down here. Are you alright?'

Allen smiled, feeling a bit embarrassed. 'Nothing for you to worry about. Kanda just tried to cut off my arm in an attempt to detach us, but he has already decided not to.' He showed the scientist the handcuffs. 'We're on our way to Komui. Do you have any idea where he is?'

'Oh my,' Johnny immediately pulled Allen's arm closer. 'I think I know those. Let me look at it, maybe I can be of some help.' He started examining it from all sides and then picked up some tools. 'Maybe if I do this…' He tried a lot of things but it all seemed to end up in a failure. Allen and Kanda waited patiently, but in vain.

'I'm sorry,' Johnny concluded with a sigh. 'It seems I can't get these things off, but there's a chance the chief can. He's probably in his room right now.'

Allen sighed. Komui would be their last hope, if he couldn't fix it they might be stuck forever, or he would miss an arm for the rest of his life.

'Well, what are you waiting for, Moyashi, let's go.' Kanda violently pulled him to Komui's office.

'It's Allen,' the boy snapped back when the door was being opened and Komui and Reever came out of it.

'So, what do I hear? You're stuck to each other?' Komui looked at them and then let his eyes rest on the chain that connected them. 'You should be glad that we made these to connect the prisoner to someone else, because otherwise it would have been shorter and you might have needed to hold hands.' He lifted the chain in his hand. 'I think half a meter distance is pretty reasonable given the circumstances.'

'What do you mean, Komui?' Allen asked while fear spread through his body.

'I mean you'll have to stay like this for some time as we have no keys or whatsoever. We'll search for them in the meantime or design something else to solve this.'

'Wait, you can't…!'

'I'm not going to spend my days locked up to a Moyashi!'

Komui smiled anxiously. 'I'm sorry, Allen, Kanda, but there's no other solution. You'll have to deal with it. If you're lucky it'll only last for a few days, if you're not… it might take months.'

They fell silent in horror... Days, MONTHS?! They would never survive this. One of them would be killed by the other in a day already, Allen was pretty sure of that.

'You can go now,' Komui told them. 'You're only standing in the way here. Go do something together. Make sure to get along or to make up fast, I won't allow you to hurt each other.'

They both looked at him with iron faces.

'If you wound one another you'll have to help me to try out my new Komurin.*'

They both grimaced at that and Komui walked past them, continuing the work that kept him busy nights and days.

'Well, where shall we go?' Allen asked uncertainly.

Kanda turned his head to glare at him, apparently not knowing himself too.

'Let's go to the dining hall,' the white-haired exorcist proposed. 'I'm pretty hungry.'

'Tsssk, it isn't even time for lunch yet, stupid Moyashi,' Kanda objected.

'It's Allen! And I don't hear you coming with better ideas here.'

A silence fell again, which took minutes until Reever interrupted it. 'Uhm, guys, could you please go somewhere else? You're really hindering us here.'

'Oh, sure, I'm sorry, Reever,' Allen stepped aside, just at the same time Kanda did to the other direction. The chain was pulled tight and they couldn't move anymore.

'Kanda, come to this side, we're getting in Reever's way,' the boy hissed irritated.

'Why don't you come this way, Moyashi?'

'It's Allen! Just come here already so Reever isn't waiting for us anymore.'

'Uhm, guys, it's fine.' They both turned around to look at Reever who was smiling uncomfortably now. 'Really, you can just keep standing there. We'll just walk around you.' And he passed them in a wide circle.

'See what you did?' Allen asked angrily.

'Tssk, you didn't want to step aside,' Kanda turned around and started walking to the door.

'What?! Now it's all my fault?' Allen followed him. 'You were the one that didn't come over to me!'

They left the science department and made their way to the lounge, as that was neutral territory for both of them.

'Shut up, already, Moyashi,' Kanda spat.

'It's Allen!'

They sat down on a couch, as far apart from each other as possible and both faced the other direction. This would be a long, long day…

***Behind the scenes:**

**'Have you really made a new Komurin?!' ****Reever asked fearfully. **

**Komui smiled. ****'No, but this was the only way to keep them from giving me even more work to do.'**


	8. Chapter 8

Lavi: 'If you're binding people to each other anyway, can't you bind me to a beautiful girl or something?'

Me: 'Lavi, this is not your story, it's about Allen and Kanda.'

Lavi: 'That doesn't mean you can't write anything about me!'

Me: 'I'm sorry, Lavi, I've already got enough to write. My head is so full of ideas that I'll never be able to write it all down.'

Lavi: 'If you're not able to write them all down anyway, you can just...'

Me: 'I said "no". Write your own stories if you'd like the idea so much.'

Lavi: 'It's weird to write a story about yourself.'

Me: 'Then ask someone else to do it.'

Lavi: 'Oh well, there are tons of fangirls that would do that for me anyway. I guess I shouldn't have asked from someone who loves Allen...'

Allen: 'What, who loves me?!'

Lavi: *facepalm* 'Really, Allen, are you that clueless?'

Allen: ?

* * *

'Allen, Kanda,'

Komui's voice pulled their attention away from whatever they had been thinking of (actually Allen had been thinking about the most delicious food as he had gotten pretty hungry in the hour they had been sitting here, but he didn't feel like talking to Kanda to persuade him to go to the dining hall).

'An emergency came up. I want you two to go on a mission.'

'Why us?' Allen asked while he showed his chained arm again. 'We're still stuck to each other.'

'As I told you it's an emergency. Lavi is away with Bookman apparently and I don't know where they are for the moment and the other exorcists are all on their own missions already.'

'What is it?' Kanda informed grumpily.

Komui sat down on a chair in front of them. 'There is apparently an innocence in an amusement park. It scares people late at night as it causes a skeleton from the haunted house to move. It walks all around the park, so make sure you look for it everywhere. However, the matter of emergency is that the akuma seem to have found out about it too and they are roaming the area. It makes the park dangerous and frightening for people. I want you two to go there and protect the people while you search for the innocence fragment. Is that clear to you?'

They both nodded.

'Good, then here are the reports of the finders about the scene, read them on the way there.' He handed over their folders to them. 'Have a good journey and make sure you come back alive.' He looked both of them in the eyes for a moment. 'And don't fight too much. I'll make sure to get you free when you come back, but if you don't cooperate well you might not succeed and I don't want to lose one of you yet.'

'We'll try, Komui,' Allen promised reluctantly.

Kanda just 'Tssk'-ed grumpily.

* * *

They somehow arrived at the inn in one piece, which was a really good sign already in Allen's opinion. He thought they might have tried to kill each other in the train, but they only ignored one another strictly. As long as it goes like this it isn't really that bad, he told himself, as long as we don't activate our innocences it actually goes very well!

They immediately took a seat in the dining area to eat their lunch. Kanda ordered a meal consisting of soba, Allen ordered everything on the menu.

The waitress looked at him with big eyes of surprise. 'Y… You want everything?'

Allen smiled. 'Yes, if it's possible that is.'

She hesitated for a moment, then a suspicious look crossed her face. 'If you order everything you'll have to pay for everything. You'd better not try to run away. And I warn you, it's too much for one person to eat.'

'Just bring us our food already!' Kanda snapped impatiently. 'We're hungry.'

Her expression hardened. 'Well, I'm sorry, mister, I'm on my way already.' She stalked away with heavy, angry steps.

'Was that really needed?' Allen hissed to his companion. 'You could at least have been a bit nicer to her.'

'Shut up, Moy… Allen,' he corrected himself with a grumpy expression as he realised there were no other ordermembers.

They both turned around and faced the other direction again until the girl came back, bringing them some plates of food.

'I'm sorry, mister, but it's too much to bring it all at once,' she still shot Kanda irritated glances all the time. 'But we'll cook it all for you, so please be patient in between the meals.'

'Sure, that's not problem at all.' Allen smiled in an attempt to lighten the mood. 'Thank you for the food.'

Kanda didn't thank her for the soba at all, he just picked up his chopsticks and started eating it in silence.

'Itadakimasu!' Allen picked up his fork and began stuffing himself, not really hindered by the fact he could only use his left hand. Luckily Kanda only needed one hand to control the chopsticks as well. That way they could keep hiding the chain under the table to keep curious eyes away.

Kanda was done eating the moment that Allen finished his second plate. From that moment on the dark-haired exorcist just rested his chin on his hand and stared in the distance with a growing frown of impatience.

Not only that, but the waitress eyed him with growing surprise too, as meal after meal was being gobbled down by the scrawny looking boy, that didn't even seem big enough to finish one full plate, let alone all the dishes of the menu that were brought to him.

When Allen started with his fifteenth plate his companion burst. 'Just how long are we going to waste time like this? Aren't you done eating yet?!'

Allen stopped the fork midway to his mouth. 'Well, I'm sorry, I'm just hungry. You can't blame me. You didn't want to go to the dining hall before. Now I have to fill myself up for that too.'

'Tssk, this really is a waste of my time.'

'Then what do you want to do instead? It's not like we can do something right now anyway. The innocence and akuma only show up in the nights.' He put some food in his mouth again.

'Well, there is a lot of better things I could do in this time.'

'Like wha…?'

His sentence got broken off when the waitress approached him with another plate of food and bowed closer to him. 'Uhmm, mister, pets aren't allowed here.' She gave a quick nod in Timcanpy's direction who had begun to share Allen's food.

'I… I'm sorry,' Allen stammered. He quickly grabbed the golem and hid it in his coat. 'Could you act like you didn't see it? I'll promise you won't notice again that it's here at all.'

She thought for a moment, then nodded. 'Sure, enjoy your food.' She put the new plate down and took some of the old ones back to the kitchen.

'I have an idea, Kanda,' Allen suggested. 'Let's do something I want for an hour first, so that I can finish eating without having to rush and then we'll do something you want to do for another hour.'

Kanda glared at him for a moment, irritated as he was that they were forced into making compromises. 'Fine,' he agreed in the end. 'You've already spent half an hour, so make sure you're done in another one.'

'No prowlem.'

'And at least make sure your mouth's empty when you speak!'

But that comment was unneeded. They didn't say a word to each other for fifteen minutes. When they did again, Allen was already eating in a calmer pace, making it possible for him to pay some attention to that himself.

'Say, Moya… Allen, how can you even still eat anything at all?' Kanda grumbled. 'Isn't your stomach about to burst after everything you stuffed in it?'

Allen looked up in surprise. 'No, of course not, I always eat this much.'

'Don't you ever feel full?'

Allen shook his head. 'No, actually, I have no idea what that should feel like. I heard people saying it, but I can't imagine not being able to eat anymore. It's not like I'm really hungry all the time, but food always seems good to me.'

'Tsssk, it's a wonder you're not fat already.'

Allen ate a few more mouthfuls of food before he turned to Kanda again. 'Say, Kanda, what actually does it feel like to be full?'

'Exactly what it says.'

'Hmpf, what a useless answer…' Allen muttered.

'Then don't ask me useless questions!'

There was a silence for a long time again, that only got disturbed when the waitress came back to clean Allen's last empty plates.

'You want anything else?' she asked a bit nicer now that Kanda hadn't said anything to her anymore.

Allen shook his head. 'It's okay, I'm done. Thanks for the meal.' He pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket. 'Here, you can send the bill to the order.' He gave it to her and gave her an assuring smile. 'The one of my companion too please.'

She was silent for a moment. 'You really ate all of it. I apologize for my behaviour of before.'

Allen looked up in surprise, then smiled again. 'No problem, I'm used to it.'

'Have a nice day,' with those words she walked away and didn't come back anymore.

'Well, Kanda, what is it you want to do?'

* * *

A few minutes later they had locked themselves up in their room. They had sat down on a spot on the floor, their legs folded, their elbows resting on their knees. There was a heavy silence, it seemed to Allen. A silence that made him even more aware of his restlessness.

Just why did Kanda have to choose meditating of all possibilities? This wasn't Allen's thing at all, he'd rather have trained with the other and gotten in another fight in which they would have tried to kill each other. Everything better than this. His body told him to exercise, so his muscles wouldn't get lazy. His mind ordered him to do anything, except sitting still, to go out to save people, to kill akuma when he would find them.

'Stop moving you stupid Mo… Allen. Just sit still already.'

Allen grimaced and tried to control the urge to try to find a more comfortable position. He knew it was useless anyway, he wouldn't feel better if he moved, he would only feel more frustration because it didn't help again.

There were a few more minutes of silence, then Allen just couldn't take it anymore.

'Ne, Kanda, just what are you actually doing when you meditate? What exactly are you trying to accomplish?'

The exorcist opened one eye to glare at the boy. 'Can't you just be quiet for a moment?'

'I'm sorry, I just thought I could better try to participate with you,' Allen grumbled, 'that might make it easier for me to just sit here and do nothing. I really can't comprehend how you can call this a better use of time than eating.'

'It's really not that hard. You just try to empty your mind,' Kanda explained reluctantly. 'It helps you to get calm so you can think clearer after it. Just close your eyes, concentrate on your breathing and try to take in every thought and then put it away until your head feels calm and empty.'

'Calm and empty, huh?' Allen repeated.

'And now be quiet so I can do the same,' Kanda snapped, back to his impatient self.

Allen nodded and closed his eyes. He tried to do exactly as Kanda had told him, but it was just impossible. Concentrating on his breath wasn't that heard, but the whole 'get your head empty'-thing was like a code to him that he was unable to decipher. When he tried to push anything away, it just jumped back in his mind. His thoughts and especially his worries just swirled around in his head uncontrollably, making a chaos of it. And that wasn't all of it. At the same time he was aware of the voices that echoed through it. They were too soft to understand, but they screamed, yelled and drove him mad when he spent too much attention on them. He knew those sounds really well, they had tortured him for years already. They entered through his left eye and beckoned him for help. The akuma even managed to infiltrate his mind when they weren't anywhere near. Their voices already reached far enough.

He moaned in an attempt to at least make some space between that mess of impressions, but it just fell back to its usual state before he had even really accomplished anything. Then he sighed. This would be a long hour.


	9. Chapter 9

Me: 'It's all taking really long, I know, and I hope you all still have a bit of patience. At least the first signs of their future relationship begin to show up here. And I somehow managed to write this without Kanda noticing, so I'm still alive.'

Lavi: 'Not for long if you continue like this. Allen might also get really mad.'

Me: 'No problem, I found a great solution.'

Lavi: 'Really?'

Me: 'Yes, I've stayed up all night to make thousands of mitarashi dango. It keeps him calm right now.'

Allen: *munch munch*

Lavi: 'I see, that's pretty smart and obvious. Only, you should realise the dango won't last long.'

Me: 'I know, I'll just flee before he's finished and make some more tonight for tomorrow.'

Lavi: 'You should try making soba too... It might work, if Yu isn't too angry.'

Me: 'I doubt it...'

* * *

'So, if I understood the reports correctly, the innocence will only show itself to people who are having a good time trying all the rides and have had a lot of success in the games,' Allen stated as they entered the park.

'It seems so,' Kanda answered. 'It will steal your prices.'

Allen took a look around to check for akuma, but there seemed to be none within his eye's reach. 'Well, I guess we have to play around some then. We want it to come after us after all.'

Kanda grimaced.

'Let's just do everything we see. Meanwhile I'll stay on the look-out for akuma.' He pulled his companion to the nearest ride there was: the carousel.

'Seriously, M… Allen, this is for children…'

'I know,' Allen snapped back, suddenly blushing of embarrassment. 'It's not like I want to go on this ride, but the more we do, the higher the chance that we find the innocence, so just play along, okay?'

Kanda sighed grumpily and followed him on the ride.

They took place in a horse carriage and faced the ground, hoping no-one would see them. A few minutes later they quickly left, even before it had stopped moving. Great, the worst thing had already passed. Now they could go on to the fun things: rollercoasters, food stalls and of course the gambling hall. Actually, Allen did look forward to doing those things. He never really had had the chance to enjoy an amusement park. He had either been too busy or his master would have stolen all his money. The last time he had been to one was with Mana, and that was so many years ago, that the memories had turned foggy.

'Let's go to that red rollercoaster next!' He pulled Kanda with him. 'Come on, Kanda, at least act like you're having a good time, we have to deceive the innocence.'

'Hmpf,' Kanda only answered with the same grumpy face that Allen just had criticized.

They had to wait a while in the line, but during that he just looked around to decide on what to do next. He spotted the food stands already and felt his mouth watering. Yes, let's eat after this, he thought.

It was their turn and they took a cart in the middle. They climbed the slope slowly, then fell down with amazing swiftness. Allen yelled loudly and threw his hands in the air like the others. Kanda didn't show any signs of enjoyment, but it was clear that he didn't really dislike it either.

When they left the ride again Allen immediately lead Kanda to the food he had seen before.

'Really, Allen? We have just eaten…'

'So what! It looks tasty.' He ordered a ton of snacks and started eating while he looked around for their new destination. 'Where do you want to go, Kanda?'

The man looked at him with a glare that said he didn't care at all, because he wouldn't like any place, but Allen had spotted something he would like.

'Isn't that a soba stand?'

Indeed he had immediately caught the attention of his companion, who looked up and followed the boy's gaze.

'Let's go.' He pulled Allen with him, who felt amused by the quick change of attitude.

They took a few minutes to eat their food, then went on, entering the house of mirrors. Kanda wanted to just walk past them, but that wasn't something his companion would allow him. He stood still until the man turned around and gestured to the mirrors. 'Kanda, you should look into them, that's where they are here for.'

'Tssk, like I would play such a silly game.'

'You should, we have to for our mission, remember?' Allen glared at him until Kanda walked back and looked in the first mirror.

'That's it, now, come on, let's look at all of them.'

They passed some of them until Kanda stood before one that made him really fat. Allen couldn't help but start laughing at the unusual sight of a fat Kanda.

'What's so funny, Mo… hmpf.'

'You look so fat, Kanda!' Allen laughed.

Kanda glared back, then pointed at a mirror on the other side of them. 'Well you look like a real Moyashi in there.'

Allen looked back and realised he was reflected exaggeratingly small in it. He grimaced, then he gave a quick jolt on the chains so Kanda stumbled closer, entering the mirror too. 'Luckily, you do too,' he grumbled.

They went on, eventually leaving the mirrors behind.

Again Allen lead them to another food stand, as there seemed to be different snacks here.

Kanda sighed irritatedly, but let the boy eat what he wanted while they walked a bit further into the park.

Suddenly Allen came to an halt, catching the other exorcist's attention as he did so.

The boy had just put a candy cane in his mouth, but didn't chew on it, he just stood frozen, looking in one direction. There a clown was fooling around with some children.

'What's the matter, M… Allen. Don't tell me you want to go to the clown.'

Allen shook his head and finally bit off a piece of candy. He swallowed it and answered, without letting the clown out of his sight: 'It's not that I really like it, it's just that... You know, when Mana and I traveled together we used to be clowns. Mana taught me how to be one. It's just that it brings back those memories somehow.'

Kanda let him stare at it for a while until Allen finally pulled his eyes away from the scene and walked on. 'Let's go to the bumper cars next.'

He gave the last of his food to Tim when they arrived and took a seat in one of the cars. Kanda sat down next to him.

'Shall I drive?'

Kanda folded his arms with a grumpy expression. 'Tssk, suit yourself.'

Allen drove them from the side to the middle and immediately found himself in the midst of a fiery battle in which people tried to hit each other as hard as they could.

When someone hit Kanda's side he glared at the one who had disturbed him. However, the teenage boy behind the steer wheel only grinned satisfactory.

This hit a sore spot in Kanda. He growled and turned to Allen. 'Make sure to hit him back roughly.'

'What?' he was surprised at first because of the violence in his companion's voice, then he smirked. 'Very well, I will.' He accelerated and chased their opponent.

However, all of a sudden a whole group of teenage boys started bumping into them, making it very clear that they belonged to the same group as their prey.

'To the left, Allen, to the left!'

He tried to do as the other said, but it is hard to move when so many people are targeting you.

That was the moment Kanda pushed him away in frustration and took over the wheel. He immediately managed to escape their attackers and crashed right into their earlier target, then he began to repay the rest.

They tried to evade them and attack back, but Kanda was faster and more skilled than them.

After a fierce fight the boys started shouting mean things to them out of frustration. That wasn't a smart idea though. One called Kanda a wanna-be girl and another yelled to Allen his white hair made him look like an old man.

Both of the exorcists snapped at that moment in rage. Flames appeared around them and their eyes gleamed like those of the devil himself. 'What did you say?' they threatened simultaneously.

Their challengers became pale and backed away quickly: Allen and Kanda had won this fight.

From that moment on the grumpy exorcist from earlier had found out he liked this game and began hitting everyone. Allen kept an eye on their surroundings and gave Kanda advices from time to time while the other drove around to attack everyone that somehow seemed to irritate him (and as you probably know, everyone irritates Kanda somehow). It didn't take long before they had a lot of space of their own, because the people knew they could better keep away from them.

Then the session was over and they had to leave the car again, still feeling lively from their bumping fight.

This time Allen didn't even have to lead him, Kanda just walked over to the cotton candy stand himself, knowing his companion would want some.

They also visited the gambling hall, in which Allen won tons of prices, and a stand at which they had to throw balls against targets. Kanda won a big teddy bear and wanted to throw it away when Allen protested. 'That's a waste, you can't just throw it away!'

Suddenly the bear was pushed in his hands.

'Then you have it. I don't need it.'

Allen looked at it then looked around until he saw a little girl walking next to her mother. 'Hey, little girl, we won this teddy, but I don't think we'll do much with it. You can have it if you want.'

Her eyes began to shine. 'Really?!' She stuck her arms out eagerly.

'Yes, of course.' Allen gave her the bear.

'And what do you say in such occasions?' The mother asked her daughter tactfully.

'Thank you very much, mister,' the girl shouted with a huge smile.

Allen smiled back and watched her walk away again. 'See,' he told Kanda, 'it would have been a waste to throw it away.'

After that they also participated in a 'catch-the-ducky'-game during which Kanda said that you could catch actual living fish on Japanese festivals. They won some things again and gave away what they couldn't carry.

They also found a crepe stand and Allen ate one with a ton of melted chocolate on it. At some point Kanda grunted to him: 'Wipe your mouth, idiot, there's chocolate all over it.'

Allen tried to get something to use for that purpose, but his hands were full of food and everything was on the verge of falling when Kanda stopped him.

'Tssk, let me do it.' He pulled out Allen's handkerchief from the exorcist's pocket and rubbed the filth away roughly.

'Ow, Kanda, that hurts, you're rubbing my skin off.'

He finally stopped and put the clothe back where it belonged.

At that moment something flashed and they noticed a photographer that asked them if they wanted any pictures.

Before Kanda could decline Allen agreed. They took some pictures, some of Allen while he was still eating, then some of them together (Kanda with a grumpy expression and Allen looking overly happy and trying to cheer his companion up) and in the end one of Kanda who had thought the photographer had left already and had gotten some soba again. They caught him on the photo just when he put the soba in his mouth and looked up in surprise as he noticed his stalker.

Allen bought all the photos, even if it was just to piss off Kanda and they moved on to the next ride.

* * *

**Sorry, to interrupt your reading, but I've got something to say for if you want to improve your reading experience. While I write I nearly always listen to music (mostly random soundtracks that fit the scene). The music that I used for this part really brought me in the right mood and my friends thought of it as very suitable as well, so I want to give you the chance to use it too. I was listening to this: ****/watch?v=N2tygT62-7E&amp;list=PLFlx8NJl-Bnck0T_we9Gf-RcE5yj4uYP (put this behind the usual youtube url) the soundtrack that begins at 1:27**

After hours of strolling through the park, just when the night came to an end, they entered a cabin of the Ferris wheel. They hadn't seen any akuma, nor the innocence, but Allen knew that would come soon enough. If it wasn't today, it would be tomorrow.

The sky was still dark, but Allen knew it wouldn't take long anymore before it would turn red and blue by the rising sun. He inhaled deeply and then sighed. He felt good and lively. He had had a lot of fun today. He gazed up at the stars that sparkled above them. Usually their light seemed cold, but now they somehow looked like little warm fires in the sky.

'Ne, Kanda,' he said softly. 'I actually had a good time today.'

He looked at Kanda and met his gaze. Their eyes locked for a moment and for the first time he realized he didn't see hate or irritation on Kanda's face. He couldn't really tell what it was instead, but it looked far better than anything he had seen of his companion before.

Suddenly he felt himself unable to answer Kanda's glance any longer and he turned around to watch the view. His face burned for some odd reason and his stomach seemed to itch from the inside. Was it because of something he ate here? That was possible. But somehow he didn't think so. It didn't feel like a response to food. He couldn't make out what it was instead though.

Actually he didn't really mind. It felt good. He felt warm and comfortable in his mind. He stared to the ground, where he could only see people move around in the lights. Between the lit places there was only darkness.

'Did you have a good time too? I think I saw you enjoying yourself, but I must admit you're really hard to read.' He looked back at the exorcist from the corner of his eyes.

Kanda had closed his eyes and had a calm expression on his face. 'It wasn't that bad.'

Allen smiled at this concealed agreement and then leaned against the window with his cheek again. It was nearly unbelievable they were here on a mission. It seemed more like free time they spent here. Well, he didn't mind. It felt good to enjoy himself again. He didn't have time to be carefree like this very often. He knew he should be looking out for akuma and the innocence fragment and he was, but somehow he still felt safe and calm right now. Maybe it was the presence of the one next to him. He could feel the calmness radiating from him. Seeping into his mind and helping it to restrain the chaos inside. Maybe this was what meditating felt like to Kanda. If it does, he told himself, it should be really nice. I think I can understand now why he likes it so much.

He closed his eyes for a moment and concentrated on the happy and good feelings that were filling him. He should treasure them, they could be gone soon enough again. That was what he had learned these years: treasure anything you like as good as you can, because it might disappear in no-time.

They sat there in silence for minutes. However, this time it wasn't quiet because they ignored each other, but because they accepted each other's presence and just didn't feel like speaking. They just sat there, enjoying the moment while they could.

Allen only opened his eyes again when they had reached the ground and had to leave their cabin again.

* * *

Exhausted as he was, Allen let himself fall on the bed. The morning light seeped through the curtains and instead of waking him up like usual, it only made him sleepier now, as he realized he hadn't slept the whole night.

'Oi, Allen,' Kanda snapped, even more grumpy than usual by lack of sleep, 'help me to move this bed, or did you want to sleep on the ground?'

'Why would I have to sleep on the ground?' His tired mind couldn't really comprehend what his companion was saying.

'Because we're chained, you idiot!'

'Oh, right.' Allen pushed himself up in a sitting position again and rubbed his eyes in an attempt to keep them open a little longer, then he yawned.

'Well, where are you waiting for? Hurry up, stupid Allen, I want to sleep too.'

'Is that your new name for me? Instead of 'stupid Moyashi' you just say 'stupid Allen'?' Allen stood up and started pushing the other bed to his.

'Tssk, your own fault for making me say your name.'

Allen shrugged his shoulders, actually too sleepy to start a fight for once. 'Well, as long as you use my name I think I can get used to it.'

'Like I care.'

They finally let go off the bed and Allen let himself fall back on the blanket he had been laying on a minute earlier.

'Stand up!' A violent jolt at the chain made the boy yelp in surprise as he rolled of the bed and smashed to the ground.

He rubbed his head that throbbed after meeting the ground and then turned it to glare in rage at the culprit. 'Oi, Kanda, what are you thinking?!'

'I'd like to ask the same of you! I'm not going to sleep without brushing my teeth, so you'd better come with me to the bathroom.'

'Tssk,' Allen imitated Kanda while rage turned to irritation. 'We're nearly fainting from exhaustion and you care about brushing your teeth?!'

Kanda ignored the last statement and just started walking to the sink, pulling the other with him.

Allen stood there a bit, finally also picking up his toothbrush and brushing his teeth in his forced wait.

When they were done they didn't even take the time to change. Allen just let himself fall back on his bed and Kanda tried for a moment to change to his pyjama's, until he noticed it was impossible to even remove his coat now that he was bound to someone else and just laid down too. Allen however was already gone before the man had even crawled under his blanket.


	10. Chapter 10

Me: 'Thank you so much for all the reviews! You guys are great. They make me so happy! And it motivated me to write again thursday night and I somehow ended up with 4564 more words than before. That's a record for me! So I decided to treat you with a longer chapter than usual.'

Lavi: 'You're really playing with your life here...'

Allen: *munch munch* 'If your mitarashi dango didn't taste this good I would have become mad.'

Me: *smiles* 'It seems Kanda isn't here today, so no problems at the moment. Have fun reading it and please keep favoriting, following and reviewing!'

* * *

'Oi, you're done eating already? Your hour has already finished.'

'Nearly, just this last plate.' Allen quickly ate the last of his food and sighed in relief as his stomach felt a bit fuller again. He had used his entire hour on eating, finishing nearly all the food the inn had stored. They didn't really mind though, as their guest paid for all of it. Actually, they had never earned so much money at once before!

Kanda stood up and Allen followed him, knowing he had no other choice. One hour for him to eat, one for Kanda to meditate. That just seemed to be the best solution for their different interests. It had worked good enough to keep them from killing each other yesterday. Actually, Allen had to admit, he hadn't felt that urge that strong at all last night, although he had been really outraged sometimes.

Kanda turned the key, unlocking the door and entered their room. He closed it behind Allen and then took place on the ground in his usual meditating position.

The boy joined him reluctantly and looked at his companion who closed his eyes and concentrated. Should he try it again too? The failure of the last time was still lively in his mind, but somehow it got pushed away by the memory of last night when they had been sitting in the Ferris wheel. He had felt calm then, and it had felt great. Would he be able to be like that again if he succeeded in meditation?

He cast a last glance at the calm Kanda and closed his eyes. He would try again. He just had to try to call back the feeling of that moment.

He sighed deeply and tried to relax all his muscles, then he concentrated on his breathing and let that memory take over his mind.

It didn't work as much as he had hoped, but at least he wasn't facing a chaos in his head anymore: only this one thought of the past mixed with akuma voices. He fixed all his attention on it and let himself drift away from the world for a moment.

Suddenly his eyes had to be opened. At first he didn't know why this unusual strong urge had appeared, but when he gave in to it he understood immediately. His left eye reacted and told him there was an akuma two streets from where they were.

'Kanda.'

'Shut up.'

'There are akuma here.'

At those words the eyes of the other exorcist opened too and he looked at his companion. 'Where?'

'Outside, let's go.'

They both stood up and hurried outside. Kanda let Allen take the lead to bring them to the akuma's hiding.

They ended up in a small alley where someone had pressed himself against the wall in fear while a level 1 pointed it's gun in his direction.

The two exorcists came to action right away. They launched themselves at the akuma with their innocence activated. However in mid-air Allen could feel how something pulled at his right arm and made him lose balance. With a surprised scream he hit the akuma with his shoulder instead of his claws before he smashed on the ground. Something heavy collided with the ground next to him.

'You idiot!' Kanda suddenly yelled, revealing the identity of the object that had hit the ground after him. 'Stop hindering me!'

Allen's eyes widened in realization. They had forgotten the handcuffs. Instead they had attacked the akuma separately so they had reached the end of the chain without noticing and pulled both of them out of balance, resulting in a meeting with the ground.

'We should work toge…'

He never managed to finish his sentence as their opponent had noticed them and shot a lot of bullets to them. They both dodged, nearly getting in problems again as they both chose another direction. Fortunately Allen was able to shield himself with Crown Clown while he hurried over to Kanda's side, giving the man room enough to jump out of reach of the threat.

'Allen, let's attack him from the side. You from the bottom and I from the top, you think you can extend your arm enough to give me space for that?'

Allen nodded quickly and followed the instructions immediately as they charged back to their opponent.

It was good it had only been a level 1. It didn't really have the ability to understand what its enemies said and thus couldn't see the attack coming despite Kanda's and Allen's obvious conversation.

The akuma didn't know which exorcist to look at and attacked Allen, who had to protect himself with his cape, while Kanda sliced him in two.

They touched the ground more elegantly this time and sighed in relief. Usually a level 1 meant nothing, but fighting together already proved to be quite problematic. Allen really hoped they wouldn't encounter stronger opponents later.

He shot a glance at Kanda, who sheathed Mugen again. It had come as quite a surprise that the man had cooperated so easily. Of course he hadn't had a choice, as they were bound to each other and thus he couldn't really act on his own. Still Allen couldn't help but feel that the Kanda he knew would never surrender to his situation so quickly. It hadn't only been his imagination the night before, something HAD changed between them. He smiled slightly, turning his face away from the other exorcist to hide it. They somehow had been able to cease the hostility a bit after all. Maybe they could become friends like Allen had always intended them to be.

'Come, my hour wasn't over yet.' Kanda turned around and gave a rough jolt at the chains that made Allen stumbled after him.

The boy growled in irritation. Okay, he took that back… Kanda was far too unfriendly to become a friend.

* * *

A few hours later the sun had disappeared behind the horizon and they were strolling through the amusement park again. This time, however, Allen didn't get a chance to enjoy himself at all. Kanda had declared he wanted to look for the innocence in the haunted house, as that was the origin of the miracle it was causing.

Allen really didn't want to enter the haunted house. He hated ghosts and everything that had to do with them. Akuma were one thing, but ghosts another. He couldn't exorcise those and he was actually pretty scared of them. Only he couldn't find a good argument against it, as Kanda had a point, and thus he followed the other exorcist into the building.

They passed through some dark corners without any trouble at all and Allen was finally letting his tension slip away when a loud roar near his ear shocked him. A black figure had been hiding in the dark and had jumped out to scare him.

With a yelp he backed away and hit Kanda, who had seen the person immediately and wasn't surprised at all. However, the Moyashi that suddenly walked into him wasn't expected and together they stumbled on the ground.

'You idiot, get off of me.'

Allen took another second to take in what happened while the dark figure took place against the wall again, waiting for its next victim. Then Kanda's words seemed to reach him. 'Oh, I'm sorry, Kanda.' He quickly rolled off the other exorcist and stood up.

As the other rose too and swept the dust off his clothes Allen looked around again to make sure there weren't any other black figures hidden within reach. This was exactly why he hated haunted houses: they always managed to surprise him when he expected it the least.

They continued their journey, keeping not only an eye out for the skeleton that was causing all the problems, but also for black figures pressed against the wall. Tim had hidden himself deeply in Allen's coat, and Allen couldn't blame him. There were scary things all around them. He kept close to Kanda and tried to look as calm and determined as his companion, but he felt tense and frustrated inside. Why was he scared of all those fake-monsters here? He fought the akuma without fear at all while these things wouldn't even scratch him. But the thoughts didn't help him to lay off his worries.

Especially when an actor with long red hair began chasing them with a silver gun. Allen couldn't help but think of his master, as it was too dark and all went too quick to see the obvious difference between them. He screamed in terror, nearly being able to hear his master yell in rage, then turned tail and tried to flee. Kanda, however, grabbed him by his collar. 'Stop that, idiot, it's just an actor.'

Allen managed to stop himself from trying to free himself from the other's grasp and looked around, sweating. Then he could clearly see the other person, who was not Cross, but a woman with just as red hair and a black suit. She held a silver gun that didn't look like judgement at all.

The boy sighed in relief and nearly collapsed on the spot, but Kanda pulled him with him as he continued their journey through the house.

After a hellish quarter of an hour (literally, they met fake demons and even Satan on the way) they finally had found what they had been looking for. The skeleton was walking slowly through the dark corridors, on its way outside. Allen was the first to spot him with his night vision and the new alertness he had formed with all the traps of the haunted house. Kanda saw it a few seconds later.

At first the man wanted to charge it on the spot, but suddenly Allen grabbed his arm with great determination. As his left eye began to throb and told him the hiding places of the akuma, he felt like a bucket of cold water was toppled over above his head. His mind was suddenly clear and calm, ready to attack the real threat.

The other exorcist turned around to look at his companion and just whispered one question: 'Where?'

Allen nodded in front of them and then he made a gesture to the right with his arm to indicate around the corner

Kanda nodded quickly as well and unsheathed Mugen.

'Let's do this carefully, Kanda.' Allen whispered. 'We don't want them to hurt any humans.'

There was no reaction, but the boy was sure his words had been heard. They stalked through the dark space to the place the first akuma was hiding, but their attention was caught by the voice of a stranger sounding confused. 'What's that? It doesn't look like any monster I know.'

At that moment the sound of gunshots filled the air and Allen knew they were too late, as the akuma they had been aiming to defeat wasn't the one that attacked first.

Allen immediately activated his innocence, just like Kanda who let his fingers slide over his sword and called it by its name: 'Mugen, activate.'

And of course they were met by the same difficulties as last time: Allen chased to the second akuma in a desperate attempt to save the victims, but Kanda wanted to defeat their original target first. The chain pulled them both out of balance again and they stumbled on the ground, leaving both of the exorcists growling in frustration.

'Moyashi, what are you doing?'

Allen turned to his companion and glared at him in rage. 'I should ask you the same question! We have to save those people!'

'You know we're already too late, let's try to focus now so we can take them out before they can make more victims.'

Allen grimaced as he realised the other was right. It was already too late. He had heard the akuma shoot and he knew the humans were already dead or were dying of the virus right now, there was nothing he could do about that.

'Let's go. We'll take them in the order we find them.' Kanda stood up.

The boy swallowed his frustration away and followed his example. 'Let's end this quickly,' he agreed.

This time they stormed at their enemy together and defeated it easily. Then they ran outside, where the other akuma was already creating a massacre.

'Let's attack it from the left,' Allen suggested.

Kanda nodded and they charged the akuma as they had agreed upon.

But just before they had reached their enemy Allen suddenly gave a rough jolt at the chain, causing Kanda to stumble over to him. Just in time before something hit the place the man had been planning to run a second before.

They didn't let it distract them and continued their charge until the other enemy was also destroyed, then they turned around to face the akuma that had tried to kill Kanda.

'A level 3, why didn't you say anything about it?' The man grumbled.

'Because it wasn't here yet. I think it was up into the sky and let itself fall. I only noticed it as it came within my eye's reach.'

'Tssk, such a pain. How can I fight well when we're chained. You're so useless.'

'I'm not!' Allen snapped indignantly. 'You're the one holding me back here you know! And you would have been dead already if I hadn't saved you.'

'I wouldn't have needed saving when I would have been alone. Then those two akuma would have been killed already and that one,' he nodded at the level 3, 'too.'

'You would have never seen them without me!'

'Tssk, you think I'm so blind? It would have just taken me three more seconds.'

'Oh, I'm sorry, Kanda, didn't know you had a cursed eye too. Which one is it?'

'I'm not that stupid to receive a curse.'

Allen's eyes widened in outrage and he just wanted to yell something back when the akuma pointed a gun at them.

'It doesn't matter who you are,' it told them, 'or if you're together or alone, you won't slay me.' Then he shot hundreds of bullets in their direction.

Allen used Crown Clown to protect them while he whispered to Kanda that they had to attack it immediately after the bullet rain would stop. The other man didn't react, but the boy wouldn't let that stop him from following his plan. He knew his companion was smart enough to use the opening after the attack too.

When the bullets stopped coming Kanda was already gone before Allen had had the time to remove his cape and run after him. It made the boy stumble as he was suddenly pulled along at his right hand, but he recovered quickly and caught up to the other.

Kanda raised Mugen with gleaming eyes. Allen took the wrist of his left hand and followed the example as his arm turned into a huge sword. They screamed as they stormed towards their enemy, but they hadn't expected the sudden appearance of the ropes that hit them on their chests. The things had showed up out of nowhere and the akuma laughed as they traveled through air for a few meters before landing on the ground on hands and feet.

'This is my dark matter,' the akuma declared while the ropes danced around him with snake-like movements. Now Allen could see that they came from the akuma's hand. There were seven of them, moving independently from each other.

'Tssk, this guy is really getting on my nerves now.'

'For once I agree with you, Kanda.'

'Well, where are you waiting for then? Let's cut that bastard to pieces already.' Kanda raised Mugen again. 'I'll keep those ropes out of the way, so make sure you'll kill it with this one attack.'

Allen nodded. 'If you'll do your job I'll end this quickly.'

They commenced a new charge.

The akuma laughed. 'You're idiots. You think I couldn't hear what you said? Do you really think my dark matter is that easy to avoid?'

The two exorcists ignored the words and continued their attack. Immediately they were met by the ropes that swirled around them, trying to bind them or knock them off their feet.

Kanda held his promise and let Mugen dance through the air, meeting the snake-like objects with impressive precision. However, the ropes proved to be too strong to cut. The only thing the man was able to do was to punch them away.

Allen tried his hardest to dodge the akuma's dark matter as well, but it turned out to be too hard when their enemy chose to shoot at the same time as well.

The boy had to use his innocence to protect them, making it unable to see in front of them. When the shooting stopped and he removed the cape, the ropes were, except for two of them, all gone.

'Moyashi, behind you!'

Allen turned around just in time to spot one of the enemies weapons that had tried to attack his back. He used his sword to punch it away. 'You would call me Allen!' He yelled at Kanda, who was busy with three of the other opponents.

'Tssk.'

Then something hit the boy's back and caused him to topple over and hit the ground. A second later one of the ropes grabbed his sword and pulled it out of his hand.

'Oi, give that back!' But before he could stand up another one punched him on his back, forcing him to the ground again.

'Stupid Allen, I told you you were hindering me.' A moment later the weight of the rope disappeared as it began a fight with Kanda, who was still opposing three others.

Allen wanted to snap something back, but there were more important things to do now. He extended his hand. 'Crown Clown!'

A shiver ran through the sword, then it turned and attempted to return to its owner, but it was unable to. Two more ropes had appeared and held it tightly.

'Kuso, I can't fight like this.' He turned around. 'Kanda, we have to retrieve my sword!'

'I'm busy right now, get it back yourself.' The man swirled around, swinging his katana to all his foes. He never missed, but the blows just seemed nearly ineffective.

'I can't do anything without it!' Allen threw himself to one of the ropes and tried to get it away from Kanda with his only hand, that had now lost its white appearance without the presence of the innocence. 'Come on, Kanda, try to get out of there, then we can retrieve it.'

'Tssk, only an idiot would lose his weapon.'

'Just shut up and help me!' he yelled when the rope he was holding hit his face repeatedly to force him to let it go. It wrestled under his fingers and eventually started beating Allen against the ground until he could see little stars appear before his eyes.

The man finally managed to escape the other three of his opponents and pulled the boy with him, who had let go of his target in the end. They ran to Crown Clown, but never made it.

Allen felt something pull him in the air on his right wrist and Kanda the same on his left. The ropes had found the chains and lifted them with it.

Kanda swung his sword to the rope holding them, but as he couldn't cut it, it was useless. His companion wasn't able to do anything either. His legs couldn't reach it and his right arm was extended by the force of gravity. He could pull himself up, but that wouldn't help them at all. His left arm was still being held captive in the shape of his sword.

The rope kept lifting and lifting them until Allen thought the akuma was planning to let them fall to their death, but instead their rise finally stopped and the ropes backed away.

… the ropes backed away? Then what was…? He looked up and noticed they were hung up on the highest bar of the Ferris wheel, meters above the ground.

The akuma laughed. 'You can't attack me from there. While you enjoy the view, I'll go searching for the innocence. It turned around and left, taking the exorcist's sword with him and leaving them hanging in the air.

Great, now he was unable to do anything, all the way on the top of the Ferris wheel, with Kanda, without his left arm. The situation couldn't get worse.

But it could, because Kanda raised Mugen and prepared to cut the bar they were hanging from.

'Wait, Kanda, don't! We'll die if we fall from here!'

The man turned his head and sent him a glare. 'Then catch yourself before you hit the ground, we have to hurry to the innocence.'

'How do you suppose I do that when I only have…?'

His companion didn't wait for him to finish his sentence and suddenly there was no force keeping them on their place anymore.

Allen screamed in surprise as they immediately entered a free fall. He tried to grab something, but the points he could have used to break his fall were only in reach of his left hand, which he didn't have.

A rough jolt at his right arm nearly dislocated his shoulder and made him groan of pain, but he was still alive and they were halfway down already. Kanda had caught one of the other bars of the wheel and the chain had stopped Allen from falling.

The man tried to pull himself up, but two people proved to be too much of a weight for him, as he only had one arm to use as well, the other hung down, supporting Allen's weight. 'Allen, you'll have to pull yourself up. If we can get on top of this bar we'll be able to climb to the ground.'

The boy grimaced. 'I have only one hand, I can't get higher than the chain lets me.'

'Then use your teeth, idiot.'

'My teeth?!' Allen looked at the chain. No way he was going to bite that to climb it. 'Why don't you use your foot to pull me up instead.'

Kanda glared down at him. 'That won't be enough, you'll have to reach up too.'

'Just try it, then I'll think of something else.'

The man sighed in irritation and used his foot to shorten the chain, by lifting the middle of it and keeping his hand downwards.

Allen felt how he rose a little, but it wasn't nearly enough. He looked reluctantly at the chain again, then pulled his body up for a moment and clenched it between his teeth. He tried to hold on to it tightly, but, besides the pain, his teeth couldn't get a grip on it and slid down.

He let go of it again. 'Kanda, this isn't working, let's try something else.'

The other exorcist relaxed his foot and the boy fell down to where he had been in the beginning. They had to think of something else and quickly. With every minute the innocence was in more danger of getting stolen and destroyed.

Then Allen became aware of an even more terrifying fact. He felt the handcuff, that had been holding his wrist so tightly all this time, beginning to move. It had loosened somehow. Probably the fight with the innocence and the dark matter of the akuma had been too much for it after all. It was made to withstand nearly everything, but that didn't mean it would be able to do that for real. It was beginning to let him go.

But why, just why, exactly at this moment? They had been trying to get free all this time already and now, when the chain finally seemed useful, because it was preventing him from falling, it had decided to free them.

'K… Kanda, I think we've got a problem.'

'Then think of a solution already!' the other man grumbled. 'The akuma might have found the innocence already.'

'No, Kanda, I mean another problem! The handcuff is loosening, we have to pull me up right now.' As to underline the words he felt the cuff slide a bit further over his wrist to the beginning of his thumb. 'Kanda, I might fall in a few seconds.'

The man finally shot a look downwards where Allen was struggling to keep his fingers spread in an attempt to postpone his fall. 'I'll try once more to lift you, this time you should try to hold on to my coat with your teeth, okay?'

Allen nodded quickly, happy with any kind of a possible solution.

The man used his foot the same way as before and Allen pulled himself up carefully. He was glad he was still training daily now, otherwise he probably wouldn't have been able to carry his own weight like this.

He felt the iron sliding a bit further again. He could feel his heart pound in his throat as the chances of falling got higher and higher. He was nearly there, the coat fluttered in the wind just a few centimeters from his face now. He reached a bit further.

Just in that last second the chain let him go. His teeth clapped onto each other with a dull sound, missing the coat, when he made a last desperate attempt to keep himself from falling.

'Allen!'

He heard Kanda's scream, but there was nothing he could do to save himself. He was falling, and his right hand still couldn't reach any of the bars.

Then his hand got grabbed by another and a loud metallic 'klang!' sounded next to him. He continued falling for a short moment, then he was saved again, this time not by the chain, but Kanda's hand.

The man was lying on a new bar, grimacing from the smack against the metal. He clenched his legs around it and then took Allen's arm with his other hand too.

Allen felt how he slowly got lifted up, until his fingers were finally able to close around the bar. Then Kanda grabbed him by his collar and helped him up until his feet touched the Ferris wheel as well.

'You idiot, do I have to save you every mission we have?'

Allen smiled a bit shakily. 'I guess so. You probably bring bad luck or something.'

'You're the one who's cursed here,' Kanda grunted. 'Just stop pulling me into this stuff too.'

'But Kanda, who would save me then?' Allen teased, being just as surprised about that as the other immediately after.

'Hmpf, at least we're free now.' Kanda held up his left arm which was still attached to the chain. 'The science department better has a way to remove this though.' Then he stood up slowly. 'Let's go, we have to get to the innocence now.'

Allen nodded and rose immediately too. Now that he had ground under his feet all was fine. His exceptional sense of balance would keep him safe.

They climbed down carefully and Allen couldn't help but sigh from relief when he felt the stones of the earth under his feet again. He was still alive. Then he shot a glance sideways to his companion. It was all because of Kanda. The man had risked his life to save him. He knew Kanda would help him in need, like all the exorcists, but the fact that he had risked his life for him surprised him a bit. He hadn't thought the other would go that far.

They started to run and Allen let his left eye lead the way. They passed a few corners, before the akuma came into sight. It seemed it hadn't found the innocence yet.

'Kanda, try to free Crown Clown, then we can attack from both sides.'

The man nodded shortly and left Allen behind, who had let himself slow down a bit, knowing he would only be a burden without his weapon.

The other exorcist approached the akuma so silently, that he managed to come within a meter of distance with his enemy. When it finally noticed his presence, it didn't have the time anymore to activate its dark matter. The only choice their opponent had left was to let go of Allen's sword and use those three ropes to protect himself and that was exactly what the exorcists had wanted him to do.

The boy didn't let a second go to waste and called his sword back to him. When the weapon arrived safely in his right hand, he quickly reattached it to his left shoulder to avoid it from being stolen again. Then he joined the fight, happy to be able to attack the akuma as well again.

As Kanda had been busy with those three ropes, the enemy had activated the others too which opposed Allen now.

He tried to find an opening, but there were just too many ropes to leave him one. There was no way to break through them if he couldn't attack all of them at the same time, but that was… That's it!

'Clown Belt!' His cape changed its form into strong strings which all attacked their own rope. Then he extended his right arm and let another belt, coming from his sleeve, wrap itself around the akuma and pull him to the enemy through the temporary hole he had created.

At the same time Kanda broke through and threw himself at the akuma, screaming, sword raised.

The exorcists met their enemy at the same time and sliced it in three unequal pieces with their weapons. Then it exploded and Allen used the coat of his innocence to protect himself from the impact. Kanda had already backed away in time to keep himself from getting hit.

They stood for a moment, panting, and deactivated their innocence. Then they looked around them.

'Where would the innocence be?' Allen wondered loudly.

'Tssk, how should I know? Let's go look for it.'

The boy nodded. 'You take that part of the park, I'll take this one.'

Kanda shot him a glare.

'What? There's nothing wrong with that idea!'

'How are you going to find me when you find the innocence? You'll probably just get lost again.'

'I won't!' Allen snapped back. 'And otherwise it won't matter anyway, as I will be able to protect the innocence just as well as you.'

Kanda snorted, but he turned around and walked away to search at the place Allen had told him to. Then the boy turned around and followed his example.

He walked around for hours, searching in every little corner he found, but after some time, just as Kanda had predicted, he realized he had passed the same food stand five times already. He tried some more corners, only to find out that he ended up in an even more unfamiliar place and sighed. He had managed to get lost again.

The streets were still empty, since the people that hadn't been hit by the akuma had fled, so there was no-one he could ask for directions.

Maybe he should have listened to Kanda when he still had had the chance. The man knew how horrible his sense for direction was and had only been right to doubt his plan. Why hadn't he seen how idiotic it was himself?

His stomach growled softly when the scent of food reached his nostrils. Great, he was getting hungry too, but there was not a single person that could sell him the food and no way he was going to steal it.

'Are you lost?'

The boy turned around with a surprised expression when Kanda's grumpy voice sounded from behind him.

'I told you you would.'

He tried to hide his embarrassment by glaring at the man of who he knew had indeed been right all along. 'Hmpf, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be searching for the innocence right now?'

The other exorcist opened his hand and a green light emitted from it. 'You mean this?'

Allen couldn't help but smile now that he knew that the important object was safe and nodded. 'Good job.' His stomach interrupted him by rumbling somewhat louder now.

'Shut that thing up.' Kanda grumbled.

'I can't… I'm hungry.'

The man glared at him and at first Allen thought his companion would say something hateful back, but instead he turned around and started walking away. 'Let's get you something to eat then. I'd like some soba too.'

He stood there for one more moment, surprised by the reaction of the other, then followed quickly as his belly urged him to hurry to the food that was waiting for him somewhere else.


	11. bonus chapter

Well, I was kind of requested to write a piece about Allen and Kanda going to the bathroom while they are still chained. I really couldn't ignore it, so I decided to write it and add it as a bonus chapter, since it's not really part of the story. So here it is, have fun reading it XD

Allen: 'Wait you wrote what?'

Kanda: 'I don't care if it was a request, I'll cut you to pieces.'

Me: 'EEEKK, Kanda, please don't. By the way, how did you find me in this candy store?' (had hidden myself there, pretty sure as I was that Kanda wouldn't find me there)

Allen: 'Because I told him you were here.'

Me: *curses* 'Of course, could have known Allen would come here.' *looks at Kanda for a moment* 'Kanda, is that a grey hair there?'

Kanda: *glares*

Me: 'Really! Right there.' *points at a random strand of hair*

Kanda: 'Stop trying to distract us so you can leave it won't...'

Me: 'Oh my gosh, Kanda, is that a soba stand over there?'

Kanda: 'What where?'

Me: 'Around that corner.'

Kanda: *glares* 'If you're lying, I'll slice your throat open.'

Me: _you would do that anyway_ 'No, really, it is right there.'

Kanda: *turns to Allen* 'Moyashi, keep watch over her, don't let her get away.' *walks away*

Me: *smirks unnoticed* 'Look, Allen,' *points over his shoulder* 'mitarashi dango!'

Allen: *turns around* 'What, where?!'

Me: *runs as fast as she can* 'Well, I guess I got away somehow. I have to think of something else for Kanda though... This food trick won't work a second time. Well, anyway, enjoy reading this random bonus chapter, which is obviously really embarassing for all the characters it contains, as my readers (and I myself as well of course) seem to think that's funny. It turned out to be a lot more embarassing than I had planned at first though. Have fun reading it!'

* * *

_There are those moments that you only pick up half of the information during actions of others. And sometimes that can cause someone to make up a whole different story than the real one. That's exactly what befalls Allen and Kanda when they are still chained. _

**Outsider's pov**

Richard (forgive me for the name, I hate coming up with names, so I chose the first thing that popped up in my mind) had heard a lot of weird stories already, but never had he thought he would actually experience something like this.

He was visiting the amusement park with some friends and when he felt the need he just went to the bathroom. However, most of the stalls were out of toilet paper or looked simply disgusting, so he decided to wait until one of the three locked ones would open so he could use it. If others were using it they should at least look a bit more hygienic.

He leaned against the sink and watched the floor during his wait, until he noticed something strange. One of the stalls had four feet in it.

He blinked, then looked again. Yes, through the narrow opening at the bottom of the door he could truly make out four feet. Were there two people in them?

At that moment they started to move and he heard muffled sounds coming from the little room. He heard a soft 'Bong' against the wall, then a breathless voice: 'Kanda, what are you doing? Stop that, I can't breathe.'

Richard raised an eyebrow. Indeed, just what were they doing?!

'Ow, Kanda, that hurts!'

This sounded really weird. Maybe he could better look for another building with toilets. But he didn't think there was one nearby and he really needed a toilet soon.

The sound of the splattering of water sounded from the stall again and made him relax a bit. That sounded pretty normal. Then the toilet flushed and he already tensed his muscles, ready to walk over to the door that would open, and take the stall for himself.

A few new muffled sounds came from the two boys moving around. Then a new, lower voice spoke: 'I can't. Hurry up already.'

What couldn't he do? Did the other say something he hadn't been able to hear? He couldn't help but keep wondering about the two while he was forced to wait anyway.

Again the two moved around until an angry yell filled the building: 'Don't you touch me!'

What the hell? Maybe he'd better go after all.

'Then just hurry up so I don't have to.'

'Just move a moment so I can.'

A gasp sounded, followed by: 'Stupid Allen, just move it and let me do it.'

He was pretty sure now these two were gays that had chosen to go to the same toilet. He hoped it would just stay at that. But apparently it didn't.

He heard a new 'Bang' against the wall, then they started to move wildly, releasing panting noises and after some time even a moan.

No way, were these guys planning to do it here, in the bathroom?! Oh god, what had he gotten himself into? He'd really better go now. He turned to the door, but also thought of the uncomfortable need that had driven him here. He couldn't leave, he needed a toilet.

The movements became rougher and another moan sounded, followed even by a muffled scream. These guys were well underway. It seemed they really didn't care about other people at all.

Then after a few last violent moves they fell silent again.

'Just open it so we can get out of here,' the lower voice grumbled.

'Yes, good idea, I'm beginning to feel sick, cramped in this little space with this awful stench. We would have been gone already if you had just controlled yourself.'

Well, obviously! And then he wouldn't have had to listen to all that nasty crap they had been doing there.

'Tssk, you started idiotic Allen.'

'I didn't!'

The door opened and a young white-haired boy with a weird tattoo on his left eye stumbled outside, followed by an Asian dark-haired man. Their hair was all messed up and their faces looked red.

It all seemed even more weird now that he knew their faces.

The man walked over to the sinks, while the boy let his eyes travel around the room before meeting his.

Richard made sure to lay all his disgust in his glare. The boy at first reacted with a surprised expression (really, how could he not have expected this look?) then suddenly turned red and smiled embarrassedly. He quickly joined his companion at the sinks.

They dried their hands and walked over to the door and just at that moment Richard caught a glimpse of a chain.

No… He moaned in himself. This had just turned from disgusting to revolting. That was not the kind of thing you did in the toilets of an amusement park! He closed his eyes and clenched his hands to fists. That was just gross.

He chose one of the dirty toilets to use after all, being too frightened to use the one the other two had left. Then he quickly ran outside, where he was met by a friend.

'What's wrong, Richard? It looks like something is bothering you.'

'Gay-couples, that's what's wrong. Nasty gay-couples for that.'

His friend looked at him with a confused expression, but Richard didn't feel like talking about it. He wanted to forget everything as soon as possible.

* * *

_What really happened: _

**Allen's pov**

Being stuck to someone else with handcuffs really had some inconveniences. He had already been sure about that before it happened, but only now he realized the real extend of it. Like that little problem everyone has to deal with: the urge to go to the bathroom. Usually that was a normal thing and you would just go, but now…

He shot a hesitant look to the right where Kanda was walking next to him through the amusement park. The man seemed his usual stoic self, not abnormally disturbed by anything at all. Allen was sure he wasn't human. It was impossible to hold it in that long without feeling uncomfortable. His own bladder seemed about to burst, but he didn't want to face any hateful comments of the older exorcist again.

On the other hand, he really really needed to go soon and these chains would stay where they were at least until they had finished their mission.

'Oi, Moyashi, just what is the matter with you? You're so restless, it irritates me!'

'It's Allen!' Then he pressed his lips together and faced the ground. He'd better admit it now, this was his best chance. He felt himself blush in embarrassment as he stammered: 'I… I need to go to the bathroom.'

Kanda grimaced, seemingly thinking of the same inconvenience as his companion, but then gave a jolt on the chain, leading them to the toilets. 'You, idiot, just say that immediately.'

They entered a smelly building. Sinks were put down on the right wall, stalls with toilets on the left.

The boys looked at it and both grimaced even more if that was possible. The stalls seemed really small and there were no other kinds of toilets.

'Ne, Kanda, maybe we should look for…'

'Tssk,' the man lead them to one of the doors and opened it. 'Go in and be quick.'

Allen hesitated for a moment, then went in, Kanda followed after.

It turned out even smaller then he had thought after they had entered. The boy had to be very careful not to fall into the toilet while the man stood against his back with the door locked. He quickly grabbed the other's coat to keep himself from falling and only let it go when he had recovered his balance.

'Ne, Kanda, you're sure?'

'Tssk, we're both men, stupid Allen.'

'That's not my problem, it's so cramped in here.' He shuffled around to get some more space, but it only made them stand in an even more uncomfortable position. 'Really, Kanda, at least give me some space.'

'There is none here, Moyashi.'

'It's Allen!' the boy snapped, feeling even more aggressive now that his personal space was so roughly intruded by his rival and there seemed no way to escape.

'Just hurry up already!'

Allen had to restrain a growl of frustration, then finally opened his zipper.

He looked over his shoulder in hesitation and noticed that the man was staring at the ceiling with a grumpy face which obviously showed embarrassment and frustration as well. This was a really awkward situation. They could have better searched for some urinals, that would have felt more naturally.

He quickly freed his penis and finally released the tension on his bladder. He sighed in relief as the sound of water splattering in the toilet filled the room.

After a few seconds he shook it dry and put it back where it belonged, then reclosed the zipper. 'I guess we can go now, Kanda.'

The man, however, didn't make a move to open the door but tried to go around the boy. When it didn't seem that easy at all, he violently pushed the little exorcist against the wall, who immediately felt all air leave his lungs. 'Kanda, what are you doing? Stop that, I can't breathe.'

The man ignored him and moved past anyway, standing on the boy's foot in the motion.

'Ow, Kanda, that hurts!'

He finally had managed to pass the other and now they had switched places. For a moment Allen really wondered what the benefit of it was, until he heard Kanda open his zipper as well.

He couldn't help but feel a bit triumphant when a loud splatter proved that the man had been holding it in for some time as well. So he was human after all and had been just as reluctant to talk about it as him. Somehow it made him feel a lot better now that he knew that the other thought of it just as awkward as he.

The toilet flushed and Kanda's zipper sounded again. The man turned around and glared at him. 'Well, where are you waiting for?'

Allen smiled uncomfortably, then tried to turn around to grab the door handle. However, he couldn't reach it, he was stuck in the cramped space with the man.

'Oi, Kanda, move a bit, will ya, I can't turn around,' he whispered, growing ever more irritated. He thought he could start screaming of frustration every moment now if they kept being stuck like this. Even though he knew the man disliked it as much as him, he just felt strongly violated.

'I can't. Hurry up already.'

Allen struggled around a bit, nearly pushing the other in the toilet, who grabbed his coat to keep standing and then poked him angrily in the stomach. 'Stop that, you're tossing me in the toilet, Moyashi.'

'Don't you touch me!' Allen yelled, feeling how something inside of him snapped.

'Then just hurry up so I don't have to.'

'Just move a moment so I can.' He elbowed Kanda back in the stomach, causing the man to gasp.

'Stupid Allen, just move it and let me do it.'

The man pushed him against the wall again, but the boy wouldn't let it slide this time. He punched the other in the face who immediately returned the favor. They wrestled and fought for some time, pulling each other's hair and punching the faces.

Allen threw Kanda against a wall, panting from the energy it cost to keep himself from ending up in the toilet. Somehow this had become a fight for who would stay at the door and who would probably eventually end up in the water.

Kanda reacted by punching him in the stomach again, which caused Allen to moan. He forced his own knee in the abdomen of the other, who groaned and pulled the white hair himself.

Allen cast a muffled scream and wriggled under the grasp of the other, beginning to yank at some strands of dark hair as well.

Then Kanda apparently was done with it. He hit Allen on the head, who saw little stars immediately and then shoved him in front of the, still locked, door. 'Just open it so we can get out of here.'

Allen glared at his opponent, then turned to the door as best as he could. After all the moving around during their fight they had somehow managed to bring him in a better position, so he could finally reach the handle. 'Yes, good idea, I'm beginning to feel sick, cramped in this little space with this awful stench. We would have been gone already if you had just controlled yourself.'

'Tssk, you started, idiotic Allen.'

'I didn't!'

He opened the door and they nearly fell out of the stall. He stumbled over the floor for a few steps before he regained his balance, then glared at Kanda who had obviously pushed him outside.

The man stepped out as well and immediately headed for the sink, but his companion first let his eyes dart around, meeting the eyes of another boy who looked at them with a really odd expression. At first Allen was surprised, then he realized two people chained together weren't really a normal sight and he smiled awkwardly, feeling himself blush. He quickly walked over to Kanda and followed his example by washing his hands.

When they had dried them they finally walked out.

They both sighed in relief as they had left the building and the embarrassing scene they had just experienced. Allen breathed in the fresh air eagerly, trying to get rid of the stench of the toilets. Next time they would look for a place with more space, and he was sure Kanda had exactly the same in mind. They wouldn't ever repeat something like this.


	12. Chapter 11

Lavi: 'Allen is pretty clueless in this story, isn't he?'

Me: 'Well, of course. Did you want to say it's out of character?'

Lavi: 'Uhm, no... I guess Allen is pretty clueless indeed. But it seems he has no idea of his own feelings here. He doesn't even realise that not only Kanda, but he has changed as well.'

Me: 'Of course he doesn't. Would you expect to fall in love with a boy? He just hasn't thought of the possibility yet. But it'll come, someday' *smirks*

Lavi: 'That expression is really scary.'

Me: *smirk changes to a happy smile* 'Anyway, enjoy reading it.' *suddenly turns to Lavi* 'By the way, why are you the one showing up in my roleplays all the time? Shouldn't it be my love Allen instead?'

Lavi: *smiles and shrugs shoulders* 'I give good comments?'

* * *

A while later Allen put down his fifteenth empty plate and yawned. He hadn't eaten as much as the other days, but he just didn't feel like getting more food right now. He was sleepy and his head hurt slightly. He paid the bill, then stood up from the chair.

On his way upstairs he passed a window and noticed that the sky was getting brighter, turning from black to dark blue. The stars seemed to get less bright as the morning light began to outshine them. They had spent another night on their mission, but this time they had succeeded. They had slept in the afternoon, but he still felt like he had been awake all day and longed for his soft and comfortable bed.

When he entered their room he immediately spotted Kanda, who had sat down on the floor with closed eyes, meditating. He closed the door as soft as he could to avoid disrupting the calm individual and sat down on his bed.

He looked at the man who had gotten a calm expression on his face. Without those angry tilted eyebrows or the grumpy appearance he didn't seem that unkind at all. When he saw the man like this, he even could imagine him to be a normal human who wouldn't yell at anyone for anything. Actually, it even felt kind of good to be in his presence right now. He noticed with surprise that his headache was slowly fading away and made place for some calmness in his head.

He suddenly felt like sitting down and joining the meditation and gave in to that impulse. He took place a meter and a half apart from Kanda and closed his eyes. Then he tried to focus on the silence radiating from the one next to him and let it enter his head.

The last of the pain in his head disappeared as his mind got quiet and the akuma voices were pushed to a corner of it. Allen sighed in relief, realizing he had never experienced something like this before. He had always just walked on with that chaos in his head. Getting headaches quite frequently, until he didn't even notice them anymore. He had never thought of giving his mind a moment of rest. Had never understood that meditating could feel so healing.

They sat like that for another half an hour, then Allen suddenly opened his eyes as his head hit the ground. He pushed himself up again when he noticed he was lying on the floor.

Kanda shot him a look that said: 'What the hell are you doing?'

Allen laughed uncomfortably and scratched his head. 'Sorry, I fell asleep. Guess I'd better go to bed now.'

The other snorted as only answer and closed his eyes again.

And thus the boy stood up and walked over to his bed. Then he crept under the blanket and closed his eyes.

'Goodnight, Kanda,' he yawned.

'Tssk, just shut up and sleep already.'

'I'm sorry, should have expected that reaction.' He turned his back to his companion and let the sleep take over his now calm mind.

* * *

The next day they arrived at the order in the afternoon. Komui immediately called them to his office, where he was surprised that they came in individually.

'You're free already?'

'I am,' Allen said carefully, 'but Kanda is still…'

The man lifted his arm and showed the chain that was still hanging from it.

'I see, come here, Kanda, we've found the keys while you were gone.'

The exorcist walked up to the chief, who dug up a key from his pocket and put it in de lock of the cuff. In a second Kanda was free again and was rubbing his wrist that had turned red, but would look healthy again in a few minutes.

'And, were you able to retrieve the innocence?'

They nodded.

'Good, then you can bring it to Hevlaska and write your reports. After that you'll have some free time.' Komui smiled. 'I can imagine that you'd be really happy to spend some free time individually now.'

'Thanks, Komui,' Allen answered, surprised.

Kanda just turned around and walked away in the direction of the elevator that would bring him to Hevlaska.

* * *

A few hours later Allen had sat down on his bed. He had finished his report successfully and had eaten diner in the dining hall. As the other exorcists still seemed to be out on a mission, Allen had decided to go to his room early. His head felt too full of voices again. It was not any different than he was used to, but since he had found out how great it felt when it was empty, he had suddenly become aware of it and it irritated him to the point that his head began to throb painfully.

He was sitting there, in an attempt to calm his mind down again, but it wasn't working at all. He just felt like that first time he had to meditate with Kanda again. The voices swirled through his mind and wouldn't let him go.

He was probably doing something wrong. The last time he had succeeded and even the second time he had felt somewhat calmer. He just had to do everything in exact the same manner. What was different right now?

Maybe he had to sit on the ground. They had sat on the floor all the time, not on a bed.

He followed that idea and took place on the ground with folded legs. He tried to empty his head again, but there was not any progress at all.

Just what is it?! He thought to himself filled with frustration. What is it that's so different that I can't calm, down? What did I do to calm down again?

Suddenly it appeared to him. The last two times he had concentrated on Kanda. He had focused on the calmness that radiated out of him to let it into his own mind. There was no Kanda here. It was the only thing that was different from before.

He grimaced. He had never thought he would actually miss that bastard, but he wouldn't give in to such a stupid feeling. He would just teach himself how to meditate on his own. Kanda didn't have trouble meditating alone either, so he had to be able to do that too.

He closed his eyes again and frowned in his effort to clear up his mind. He pushed against the akuma voices to get them somewhere in a desolated corner of his head and tried to chase out all the useless thoughts and memories as well, but instead of making it calmer, it only became an even bigger chaos as everything started to oppose him.

After minutes of attempting to meditate his head nearly burst of pain and he had to stop before he would drive himself mad. Everything was just getting worse. Now he felt like he could start screaming if even one more thought would join the others. He groaned and rubbed his temples. It was no use, he just had to get close to someone who could calm him down, but except for Kanda he knew no-one who could.

He sighed and pulled his knees up to his chest. He wrapped his arms around his legs and stared at the wall. He wanted to meditate successfully even more right now. His head hurt so much that he could think of nothing else anymore. The urge was nearly as strong as his longing for food when he was hungry. He really needed that calmness in his head. He really needed to give his mind a little rest.

Maybe he just had to walk around a bit. It might help him to clear his head and see other solutions for this problem.

He rose from the ground and left the room. Then he let his feet carry him around randomly, bringing him where-ever his subconscious would want him to go.

Of course that meant that he ended up in front of a certain someone's room. He clenched his teeth and nearly growled of frustration.

Seriously, Allen, he said to himself, what are you thinking? You think you can just barge into his room and tell him you need him to meditate? You should walk on and try to think of something else.

But that was exactly the problem, that he couldn't think of anything else, and that was exactly why he needed to meditate.

He kept lingering around there for minutes, discussing with himself what to do next, until his head hurt even more than before from all the worries. This was no use. He couldn't stay like this. He wouldn't be able to sleep like this, but whatever else he would do would probably only worsen the headaches. He could ask the nurse for medicine, but he didn't thought drugs would help him with the chaos in his head.

He inhaled deeply and raised his hand. Before he could change his mind he forced himself to knock softly.

'Who's there?' Kanda sounded as grumpy as always.

'Allen.'

'What do you want?'

Allen shuffled with his feet uncomfortably. 'Can I come in for a moment?'

It stayed silent for so long that the boy was sure that the other would decline, but instead Kanda agreed grumpily.

He slowly opened the door and found the man sitting on his bed, brushing his hair. The other exorcist narrowed his eyes as he came in.

'What do you want, Moyashi?'

'It's Allen,' he responded automatically, then he fell silent again and faced the floor. 'I… I thought we maybe could meditate together. I can't seem to be able to get the hang of it on my own.'

'Tsssk,' Kanda answered while he kept stroking his hair with the brush. 'You're really useless. Sit down and be quiet or leave.'

The boy stood for a moment in surprise. Did Kanda just kind of accept his suggestion?

When the other glared at him angrily he quickly followed the order and sat down on the ground. Then the man put away the brush and took place on the floor as well.

They both closed their eyes and concentrated. And immediately Allen could feel the difference. Kanda's presence was like a beacon, leading him to the silence he needed. It was like the calmness of the other entered his body and helped his thoughts to find the place they belonged to and told his mind how to put away the akuma voices in an unused corner, somewhere in between his thoughts.

His headache faded slowly and he sighed in relief. He relaxed as his head began to feel bearable again and allowed himself to open his eyes for a bit.

Kanda was sitting there, with one eye open, observing him from his place. Their gazes met and suddenly Allen felt like closing his eyes again quickly. He didn't want the man to think he wasn't taking this serious.

They stayed quiet for a quarter of an hour, in which they both found the peace of mind they had been searching for. Surprisingly enough it was Kanda who broke the silence reluctantly: 'You're actually doing quite well with so little training. I don't see the problem.'

'That's because there isn't a problem right now,' Allen answered grumpily. 'I just have trouble concentrating on my own.'

A long silence fell again and lasted until Allen felt himself falling asleep. He yawned and opened his eyes. 'I guess I'd better go to bed. My mind is calm enough right now.'

Kanda opened his eyes as well.

The boy stood up and stretched his muscles which had gotten stiff after sitting in the same position for so long. Then he looked at the other exorcist before removing his eyes to the ground. 'Th… thanks, I guess,' he stammered uncomfortably.

'Tssk, just go sleep already,' was the grumpy response of the other.

Allen nodded and walked to the door. Just before he shut it he looked back. 'See you tomorrow, Kanda.'

The other glared at him, but grunted in agreement nevertheless.

As Allen walked back to his room he felt a thousand times better than before. His mind felt calm and peaceful and somehow he felt really happy. He hadn't expected a good meeting at all when he had knocked against his better judgement. But somehow it hadn't ended up in a fight. Kanda had been grumpy as always, but not one argument had existed between them. Was he just thinking too much of it, or had the man become more tolerant to him?

Inside he let himself fall on his bed and closed his eyes with a sigh. It didn't really matter, did it? Kanda had been less irritating and he felt good right now. The only thing he really longed for was sleep and it didn't take long for him to get it.


	13. Chapter 12

Lavi: 'What took you so long?! You were gone for ages!'

Allen: 'Yeah, I kind of got the hope you'd never continue.'

Me: 'I'm so sorry everyone, I had exams and I was really busy and I really didn't have the time and energy to continue, but here it finally is: the next chapter.'

Allen: 'Exams? Did you pass them?'

Me: *smiles broadly* 'I did, my notes were really good.'

Allen and Lavi: 'Congratulations.'

Me: 'Thanks. Oh, Allen, I made you some dango, as apology.'

Allen: *smiles* 'Great, thank you!' *starts eating*

Lavi: 'An apology for staying away for so long or for continuing after all?'

Me: 'The last of course. Fortunately Kanda doesn't know yet I'm back, let's try to keep it that way as long as possible.'

Lavi: 'That indeed might add some extra days to your lifespan.'

* * *

It was Tim who woke him up in the morning. The golem poked his cheek with its tail and kept doing that until his companion opened his eyes.

'Timcanpy?'

The ball smiled at him and then flew up. It started circling above his head.

Allen slowly pushed himself up, still feeling sleepy. 'What's wrong, Tim, why did you wake me?'

The golem landed on his hand and looked up silently. It seemed he had to find out himself.

He was just coming out of bed when a knock on his door caught his attention.

'Oi, Allen, say something.'

'Oh, so that's why you woke me,' he said to his golem, then he went to the door and opened it for Lavi.

'Allen, really, you shouldn't lock that door all the time,' Lavi criticized, 'I was getting worried when you didn't respond. What if you would faint inside?'

The boy laughed apologetically. 'I'm sorry, Lavi, it's still a reflex from my time with my master.'

'Your master? Why did you need to lock your door at that time?'

Allen grimaced. 'Otherwise he would steal all my money and I wouldn't have even a crumb left to eat.'

'You really had a hard time with him, huh?' Lavi looked at him in pity for a moment, then he returned to the origin of their conversation. 'Why didn't you answer me at first? Have you been here all the time?'

Allen looked at him in confusion. 'Well, of course, I was sleeping.'

'Allen, it's already past noon.'

'Oh…' The boy looked at Timcanpy flying next to his shoulder. 'Tim, why didn't you wake me earlier?'

Of course he didn't get a response.

'So, that's why I'm here. We got worried when you didn't show up in the dining hall. Jerry was really wondering what took you so long.'

Allen placed a hand behind his head and smiled again. 'I'm sorry for worrying you. I guess I was pretty tired.'

'Well, I'm glad you were just sleeping. You probably needed it. Shall we go to the dining hall together? I'd like some lunch.'

'Sure, just wait a moment.' Allen closed the door again and quickly changed from his pajama to his exorcist uniform. Then he came out again.

The moment he stood outside and started walking to the dining hall with Lavi he realized how hungry he was. His stomach growled and Lavi chuckled when he heard it.

'It's a wonder you didn't wake up from the hunger,' the other exorcist teased. 'I always thought that there was nothing that could keep you from eating when you feel like it.'

'I didn't expect this either,' the boy responded. He looked up when he felt something on his head and noticed that Tim had made himself comfortable in his hair. 'I guess meditating really helped me to sleep well,' he continued mumbling.

Lavi looked at him with a confused frown. 'Meditating? Since when do you meditate?'

'Huh,' Allen looked surprised at his friend. 'Did I say that out loud?'

'Yes, you did.'

He laughed uncomfortably and scratched the back of his head. 'It's nothing really. Just forget about it.' At the same moment he started to wonder why he was lying. What was it that made him conceal the truth of what he had done last night?

They entered the dining hall, where Jerry welcomed him warmly and pushed a bunch of plates with food in his hands right away while telling him to come back to get the rest after he would have finished cooking it.

It's probably just because it's Lavi, he concluded when he had sat down and was gobbling down his huge meal. I know he'll tell the whole order about it and will make it sound far more beautiful than it actually was. If it depends on him he'll say we hugged each other or something.

Immediately a picture of Kanda and him hugging crossed his mind. Not that anyone would believe it, but he didn't like the rumors and the teasing that went with them.

'Oi, Allen, what are you thinking about? You're blushing.'

'Heh?' The boy shot a look at Lavi who sent him a naughty smile.

'It can't be… were you thinking of a girl? Come on, Allen, tell me all about it. Is it someone in the order. Do I know her?'

'Shut up, Lavi, I wasn't thinking of something like that at all.' Allen quickly put an empty bowl on the mountain in between them, so that Lavi had to bow to the side to continue talking to him. 'I was thinking of nothing in particular.'

'Ahh, how boring.' The redhead stood up and picked up his empty plate. 'Shall I bring some of the rest of your food if Jerry has already made some for you?'

'I'd be grateful if you would.'

Allen ripped the flesh off a sparerib as he watched his friend walking over to the chef. Just why did Lavi always have to stick his nose in everything? The worst was that he would never forget anything, so you should be careful of whatever you told him. Really, even if he had been thinking of a girl, there would still have been a high chance he wouldn't have said anything about it.

Lavi was a good friend, but also someone who you shouldn't tell anything, except if it was a real secret. At least, as a Bookman, he wouldn't tell the things that should really be kept silent. It was a miracle that a guard of history could be such a gossiper as well. It was probably that curiosity that made him a real Bookman though.

'Here, Allen.' The other exorcist returned with a car stocked with full plates and bowls. 'It seems Jerry has worked very hard in the mean-time.'

The boy smiled. 'Thanks, Lavi. Great, I was just about to finish these dishes.' He put away another empty plate and grabbed a full one off the card. 'Tell Jerry it tastes good as always.'

Lavi sat down on the opposite of Allen. 'You can tell him yourself when you're finished. I'll stay here until you are.' He stretched himself and yawned. 'I've got nothing else to do for now anyway.'

'Since when are you back? You weren't here yet yesterday.' Allen asked in between two mouthfuls of meat.

'We returned late last night. I guess you were already in your room when we did.'

Or still at Kanda's, Allen thought to himself while he agreed.

'And you? I heard Yu and you had a uncomfortable accident with stuff of the science department and had to go on a mission anyway.'

'Uhh, yes, you could call it that. It was really irritating, but we managed to get free somehow.'

They spoke for some time until Allen had finished his food and then brought all the empty plates and bowls back to Jerry, where the young exorcist thanked the chef for his delicious meal.

They just walked out of the dining hall, when Bookman showed up and punched Lavi on the head.

'You idiot,' the old man yelled, 'what were you doing? We still have a lot of things to do!'

Lavi moaned and stroked his head with a pained expression. 'Come on, Ji-ji, I haven't seen Allen in days and we've been working since we've come back.'

'You can take a break when it's done. Let's go.' Bookman grabbed Lavi's sleeve and pulled him with him.

The redhead shot his friend a last sad look and then followed his grandfather obediently.

Allen chuckled softly. He was just about to turn around to go to the science department to see if he could help a bit there, when Kanda also stepped out of the dining hall and came up to him.

'Goodmorning Kanda,' Allen said, surprised that the man would ever approach him out of free will.

The other exorcist stared at him with an unreadable expression before replying: 'If you want to meditate you'll have to come now. I don't want you to disturb me later.'

The boy was even more surprised now. He hadn't thought the man would tolerate his presence during meditation again. Actually, he hadn't considered meditating again yet and wouldn't probably have thought of it 'till the evening. But now the man had proposed it he realized he actually liked the idea. He could better accept while he still could.

'All right, thanks, Kanda. I'd like to.'

'Hmpf,' was the only grumpy answer he got as his colleague walked away to his room.

Allen followed him silently and observed the other exorcist's back as he lead the way. It was really unexpected that he was heading to Kanda's room again, let alone to meditate. But what surprised him the most was the behavior of his companion. He seemed a bit nicer, even though he still had those grumpy Kanda traits. At first he had thought it might have been a short change of mood, but as he looked at the man's movements, the way he walked, the way he ignored all the finders he passed and glared the humans who hindered him away on their path, he didn't see any difference at all. It seemed like he had only changed his attitude to Allen.

It's weird, Allen thought, but I shouldn't think too much about it. It's a good change, let's just enjoy it.

They reached the room and Kanda let him in. They both took place on the ground again, but before they began they both took the time to stare at each other.

Allen was trying to read the expression of the man to find out where his new attitude came from, but it was just impossible. He noticed that Kanda was observing him as well, but he wasn't sure why exactly.

At some point the stare of the man changed in a glare and Allen understood that it was time to begin the meditation if he didn't want the other to become mad. He closed his eyes quickly, but behind his eyelids burned the image of Kanda's face. He had looked too long at it, now he probably wouldn't be able to think about something else anymore.

They kept silent for some time, until Kanda spoke up. 'Why me?'

'Huh?' Allen opened his eyes in surprise and looked at the other exorcist who was looking him straight in the eyes. 'What do you mean, Kanda?'

'You're not here because you don't know how to meditate,' the man stated. 'The moment you sit down here I can see you relax. Actually, it's quite extraordinary for someone to be able to do that so fast. You're here because I help you to meditate. But why me? I really can't stand it.'

Allen's face suddenly began to burn and he quickly turned his gaze to the ground in the hope that his white hair would conceal the blush. 'I… I don't really know myself either. You're just so calm… It seems like you transfer that calmness to others if they are open for it.'

'Tssk, now there are two people running to my room whenever something happens,' Kanda grumbled.

'Two?'

'Lenalee always bothers me when she's afraid. It's really annoying.'

Allen chuckled. 'Well, you are quite strong and she seems to be the only one who can endure your presence.'

'Tsssk, you irritate me even more.'

Allen felt himself grow angry all of a sudden and had to keep himself from raising his voice. 'Well, you invited me.'

'So you wouldn't bother me later.'

'You know, I really wished it was someone else as well!' he snapped, 'but here I am and I'm here to meditate, not to tolerate you being a jerk. So why don't you just shut up and meditate like we would in the first place!'

'Tssk, stupid Moyashi.'

'And you promised to call me Allen!'

'Idiotic little Allen.'

The boy pressed his lips together, knowing another hateful comment wouldn't help, and closed his eyes. At least the man also fell quiet and they started to meditate again.

Although Allen's mind calmed back down, he didn't feel as good as the other times. Actually he felt bad. Somehow the words of Kanda had really hit him this time, even though they weren't different from usual. Actually, he felt not only offended, but also hurt, and that was an emotion he hadn't experienced with the grumpy exorcist before. What was going on with him? Was it because he had expected less hate from the other since his change?

Really, Allen, he growled to himself in silence, what else did you anticipate? That he would suddenly say he loved you or something? That he would suddenly smile so brightly that sparkles would fill the room? It's Kanda! He's just a jerk and he'll always be. Ignore his comments, they mean nothing, he hates everyone.

After an hour he finally managed to regain his peace of mind, just at the moment that Kanda got up and told him to leave in a, what Allen would call, not really friendly way.

The boy rose as well and stretched himself, noticing that some of his muscles had gotten stiff of sitting on the floor for so long. He also made a mental note to himself that he had to train them this afternoon, he had been neglecting that for too long already.

He said goodbye to Kanda who just ignored him and then left the room. He made sure to close the door with more force than needed to let the man know that he would appreciate at least a reaction next time.

He spent the rest of his day at the science department and in his room to train. He didn't feel like meditating anymore until the evening.

He had just finished a late dinner and as he left the dining hall the window caught his attention. It was raining outside and the coldness of the air that surrounded the building seeped in through the glass. He touched it with his fingers and drew a line that kept showing on the damp windowpane.

It's already pretty far in autumn, it'll start to get really cold soon, he thought to himself.

He looked up at the black sky, covered as it was with dark clouds. What would he do now? The science department didn't need help anymore and if he would train again he might overload his muscles. It was too early to go to bed, he was sure he wouldn't be able to sleep yet. What had he done yesterday around this hour?

Immediately the scene at Kanda's room returned to his mind and he shook his head. He had promised the other this morning not to bother him later. But what was later?

'Nè, Tim,' he looked to the golem's reflection in the window, which had taken place on its favorite spot on his head again, 'do you think Kanda would get angry if I would go to him now?'

The ball turned his head downwards as to communicate with its owner but kept completely silent. It would be useless to ask Timcanpy any further questions. It wasn't like his golem would know it better than him or say anything at all.

He sighed and let his finger travel over the glass again to spell his own name and those of his friends. After a minute the window was filled with all the names that had crossed his mind in that short moment:

_Allen Walker_

_Timcanpy_

_Kanda Yu_

_Lenalee Lee_

_Lavi Bookman_

_Mana Walker_

_Krory Alistair _

_Cross Marian_

_Komui Lee_

_Miranda Lotto_

_Marie Noise_

_Tiedoll Froi_

_Reever Wenham_

_Johnny Gill_

_…_

And so on.

He went on until he couldn't think of anyone anymore and continued by adding names of Noah and people who he only knew shallowly. When he finally stopped, because his memory didn't contain anything else anymore, his own name had just started to disappear under the mist that formed its background.

He sighed and turned his back to the letters. He had to make a decision now, he couldn't keep lingering in front of the window. He shot a last look upwards, even though he already knew he wouldn't be able to see Tim anyway and then started to walk to Kanda's room. He could better take the risk. The man would probably just snap at him to go away. If that was the worst to happen…

He stopped in front of the door and breathed in deeply. Then he knocked on it.

'Who's that?'

'Allen,' he answered as neutrally as he could.

'I thought I told you to not bother me later.'

'When is 'later'?'

There was no reaction. He was probably just ignoring the boy in front of his door. Allen turned around again to leave when a voice from out of the room reached his ears after all. 'Just hurry up inside and meditate.'

Allen wasn't even surprised anymore, he was too tired after all the other times already. Kanda had changed, although he was still not sure to what extent, and he could better just accept it now. He entered the room and found Kanda on the floor, apparently already meditating by himself. So that was why he was invited after all: the man had already been meditating.

He sat down in front of him and took a few seconds to observe the other exorcist who still had his eyes shut in a calm expression. Kanda's hair looked wet and he could smell the scent of soap coming from him. He probably had just taken a bath after training the whole afternoon and eating a dinner of soba.

He made sure he was sitting in a comfortable position before following the other's example. For a moment his mind was filled with the thought that he had somehow ended up in Kanda's room out of free will again and how weird that was, then he let the calmness take over again and fill his head with peace.


	14. Chapter 13

Me: 'Hello, everyone, I'm finally writing again after my stop because of the exams (the last chapter was already written before). However, I'm not ahead of the uploaded pieces anymore, so the next chapters might come more irregularly. This chapter is somewhat longer than the previous ones, because otherwise you wouldn't have much Kanda in it and I felt sorry for that, because this is YUllen after all. I hope you like this chapter.'

Lavi: 'You've been quite inactive indeed. Are you going to continue writing again?'

Me: 'I plan to, but I have a bit of trouble dividing my time between all the things I want to do, because I'm also working on a Allen plushie.'

Allen: 'A plushie of me? Why?'

Me: 'Because I want to be able to hug you whenever I want.'

Allen: 'Okay...?' *looks a bit creeped out*

Lavi: 'Don't mind the fangirls, Allen. Just do what I would do.'

Allen: 'But you would hug every girl that asked you!'

Lavi: 'Exactly.'

Me: *looks at Allen with big eyes of adoration* 'Lavi, you should give Allen advice more often.'

* * *

The next morning Allen woke up on his own and made his way to the dining hall at his usual hour. As he entered he saw that Jerry had finished some meals for him already and was busy cooking the rest for the biggest eater of the whole order. He greeted the chef with a smile and took a cart filled with plates to a table where he started digging in to his food with his always present companion: Timcanpy, who didn't need it, but somehow always felt the urge to share it. Allen wondered if it was some kind of way to show his affection as he always liked the food of his owner the most, or if it were just itching teeth that felt better when he chewed on a piece of meat.

He looked up as he heard feet approaching. It happened a lot that people passed, but these steps sounded familiar and he felt the urge to look up to see who it was. As he recognized Kanda with his usual breakfast consisting of soba (just like his lunch, dinner and all the other food he might eat. Apparently it was possible to live on only that kind of food, but Allen doubted if that unvaried diet could ever be healthy) he suddenly had to think of those days they had spent chained in the restaurant. It hadn't been that bad to eat together and the others had yet to arrive. He was sitting here alone right now.

As the other exorcist passed him, he quickly shoved away some empty plates to make place, then stared at the man who had stopped to look at him with one raised brow of surprise.

Allen gave a slight nod to the chair next to him, not letting his eyes leave the stare of the other for a moment. It took seconds, which proceeded awkwardly slow, but after that Kanda walked up to the table and put down his soba on it. He took a seat and started eating in silence, just as his companion, who even forced himself to take the food slowly and decently to make sure he wouldn't annoy the other too much.

Allen wasn't aware of the attention they had caught until he stood up to get his second cart of food. He noticed that everyone was staring at the two exorcists, even Lavi, who had come in and was looking at them in surprise. As he reached Jerry and exchanged his empty plates for full ones, the redhead approached him and unexpectedly wrapped an arm around his shoulder. 'Oi, Allen, I see you've made a new friend. I always thought you would only tolerate each other's presence when you were allowed to kill one another.'

'It's still not really different,' the boy answered in a neutral tone as he freed himself from the other's grasp and walked back to the table. 'There was just no-one else to eat with.'

Kanda stood up with his finished dish and passed them, he didn't seem to think of them as worth for his attention and just ignored both.

'But you were sitting next to each other!'

'And ignoring one another.' But Allen knew himself that he was lying. Kanda and he were able to tolerate each other's presence now and they hadn't been ignoring one another, they had just been silent, accepting the wordlessness of the other.

He sat down again and Lavi took a seat on the opposite of the table.

'You sure? It really looked like you weren't annoyed at all.'

'That's because I won't let him ruin my day.' He put the fork in his mouth with a stoic expression. 'He ifn't worf it.'

'Moh, Allen, at least swallow your food before talking.'

Lavi also started eating now and they were silent for the time being.

Allen nearly choked in his food as a loud explosion further down the hallway surprised him. He coughed severely and managed to spit out the chicken bone that had nearly cut off his air. He looked to the entrance of the dining hall, then met Lavi's eyes who returned his shocked and suspicious stare. Explosions in the order, but no alarm, that mostly didn't predict anything good.

But they didn't get the time to think about it, because suddenly the whole wall collapsed and screaming people ran in all directions. Allen could see the pieces of stone raining down on others and hurried over there to shield them with Crown Clown. At the same moment Lavi had pulled out his hammer and kept another part of the wall from coming down.

'You don't think…? '

Lavi didn't get to end his sentence, because a huge robot appeared through the hole and scanned the area. A tinier figure came running to them, yelling: 'Komurin 6, wait, don't destroy everything!'

Both the exorcists sighed.

'Yes, Lavi, it is.'

The robot stepped into the dining hall, destroying the tables and chairs under its feet.

'Komui, this is your doing again, isn't it?!' someone yelled angrily.

The little figure stopped and laughed uncomfortably. 'I'm sorry, everyone, I thought I could better give Komurin a special curiosity-function. It seems it causes it to wander around to look everywhere though.'

'A what?' Lavi asked with a horrid expression.

Allen could only look at the place Komurin 6 was heading to and felt his face beginning to burn with rage when the robot took a look at his food and then crushed some of it in a curious attempt to touch it with its metal paws. This thing was destroying his most precious place of the order: the dining hall and not only that, it was destroying his food!

'Stop that!' he screamed as he charged to his new enemy. 'That's mine, get your own food!'

Lavi turned around to see his friend dashing away and produced one huge sweat drop. 'There he goes. One of the robots goes berserk and the only thing he cares about is his food.'

Allen didn't even hear the comment. He used Clown Belt to pull himself to the head of the robot then raised his claws. 'Edge End!'

He just wanted to let them cut the ridiculously big opponent when something hit his stomach and exploded. It tossed him against the other wall, which collapsed as well, on top of the last leftovers of his meal.

Allen pushed the rubbish off of him and looked back at Komurin with eyes filled of comic tears. 'Why would you do that?' he asked. 'That was my food.'

The robot tilted it's head to the side as it zoomed in on Allen. 'There is water flowing out of the exorcist, chance of dehydration, have to stop it.' Suddenly the robot pulled out a flame thrower. 'Have to burn the holes where it's flowing from shut.'

'EEHH? No, no, wait!' Allen screamed as a metal arm picked him up by his leg roughly. 'Don't! You can't burn my eyes!'

'This is bad,' Lavi mumbled as he saw everything happen. 'Allen!' he came to the rescue and punched the flamethrower out of the robots hand with his hammer, then tried to punch the head, but Komui was again quicker and shot a bomb to him as well, causing Lavi to fly to one of the two undamaged walls and making a hole in it as well. The only standing wall now was the one Jerry was working usually, but he had left his post and fled, just like the other wise people.

Komurin looked at the hand that had been hit with the innocence and if robots could have had surprised expressions he would definitely have had one. Allen used that moment to free himself from his opponent's grasp and wrap his enemy in his Clown Belt, making it unable to move or get another flame thrower wherever he had gotten the first one from.

'Stop it, let my poor Komurin go!' the chief yelled a few meters away from the fight.

'No way in hell!' Allen called back. 'He's going to pay for my food.'

Komurin zoomed even more in on Allen, especially his face. 'Recognizing signs of aggression and murderous intent. Switching to defense and offense mode.'

'That doesn't sound good,' Lavi commented as he finally had managed to crawl up from under all the stones of the wall he had been thrown against. 'Oi, Allen, be careful!'

'Huh, what?' Allen turned around to the friend he hadn't heard well just long enough for Komurin to suddenly reveal an extra paw that hit the exorcist right on the head.

The boy was surprised by the hit and staggered slightly as pain unexpectedly rushed through his head. While he was still recovering from the sudden attack Komurin pushed a needle in his skin, giving him a paralyzing drug that took effect immediately. His legs gave away and just before he hit the ground the robot had picked him up and held him dangling from his ankle.

Allen looked at him with eyes wide from surprise. He wasn't able to control anything anymore except for his eyes and breathing, but his mind was still really clear. He knew he was in real trouble now.

'Exorcist identified: name Allen Walker. Quick inspection: muscles are fine. Is in good condition. Seemingly no health problems. Hair is too long, it's hanging in front of the eyes, can be hindering. New mission: cut Allen Walker's hair.'

'EEHHH?' screaming was the only thing the exorcist was capable of as his tongue was numb from the drug. This robot wanted to cut his hair?! Oh dear god, what would he look like after it, an even greater freak with not only white but also badly cut hair?

A loud battle cry interrupted them. 'Don't you even think of cutting anyone else's hair! I'm going to cut you to pieces!'

A new sweat drop emerged on Lavi's head as the new exorcist joined the so-called 'battlefield'. 'It seems Komurin has hit Yu's sore spot,' he mumbled to himself. 'I can see everyone has his priorities straight here.'

Allen couldn't help but smile of relieve as Kanda appeared in his eyesight when the exorcist jumped in the air and sliced Mugen right through the robot, from top to bottom.

Komui screamed in desperation. Allen yelled as the metal arm let him go and he fell to the ground, head first, without being able to catch himself at all. Fortunately Lavi and Johnny appeared just in time to catch him and lay him on the ground carefully.

He couldn't see it, because his head was facing the ceiling and only the two friends' faces were visible, but he could hear Kanda rampaging by killing every moving part of Komurin and after that turning against Komui who had caused it all. After some time the noise departed as the guilty scientist fled to other parts of the building followed by the angry samurai.

'Are you okay, Allen?' Johnny asked.

The boy could only respond with a short tone, but the others seemed reassured and smiled.

'Let's take you to the nurse, she probably has an antidote for you,' Lavi suggested.

Johnny nodded and they picked Allen up. Lavi the front and the scientist his legs. They carried him to the infirmary, where the drug had to wear off before he was allowed to walk around again. When he finally seemed healthy enough he helped with repairing the dining hall that was severely damaged. Meanwhile Jerry cooked for all the hard workers and Allen got new food. Kanda wasn't seen the whole day anymore, but nobody wanted to tell their grumpy savior to help them as well, so he probably was just in his room, enjoying the restored peace in The Black Order. At least for now…

* * *

Some peaceful, Komurinless days passed in which Allen followed his usual routine for when he didn't have a mission, consisting of coming out of bed, eating breakfast, helping the science department, eating lunch, training, eating dinner, socializing with his friends, eating snacks, sleeping. However there had been a change recently. Something had been added to this list in the mornings and evenings. Not only did he eat with Kanda when Lavi and Lenalee weren't around, but he also visited him twice a day now to meditate. Never would he have thought he would spend so much of his time with the grumpy Japanese willingly, but here he was, in front of his room with a bag of chips in his hand.

He knocked on the door and waited for the answer that would definitely come.

'Allen?'

'Yes, it's me,' he opened the door before the man had given him permission, knowing he was allowed to come in if he wasn't explicitly told not to.

The other exorcist looked at him with an annoyed glare.

Okay, he took that back, he wasn't allowed to just come in, but the other wouldn't try to kill him for it anymore.

He sat down on the ground and pulled out a hand full of chips from the bag of food he had brought. 'Want some too?' he asked just out of politeness.

'Tssk, you know I don't eat that crap, idiot. Come here with soba next time.'

'Okay.' Allen shrugged his shoulders and put it in his own mouth instead. 'More for me.'

Kanda sat down on the floor as well with folded legs, ready to meditate.

'Ne, Kanda,' Allen said with a neutral voice of irritation when a cold shiver ran up his spine from the wind that blew around them. 'Aren't you ever going to fix that window of yours?'

'Tssk, shut up, Allen. There's no reason to and I'll never let those idiots in my room.'

Allen knew that he meant the scientists with 'those idiots' and he couldn't blame him after all the accidents that had happened in the order. He just growled softly to share his annoyance with Kanda and then closed his eyes too.

They meditated for half an hour. Then Kanda stood up and began brushing his hair, that still hang loose from coming out of bed. Allen also opened his eyes and started eating again. He looked at the man as he let the brush stroke his hair and make it look even sleeker. Usually a man brushing his long hair reminded him of his master and made him feel bad, but with Kanda it was different. His hair was the total opposite of Cross' wild red hair and Kanda brushed it more violently without really caring what it would do to the way it would fall around his face. It would be bound in a ponytail anyway, he didn't have to model it.

Allen tilted his head a little so the light seemed to glide over the dark strands. 'You know, Kanda,' he said while his hand disappeared into the bag on his lap again, 'you shouldn't always tie it up like that. It's not like we have to fight every day. You should let it hang loose sometimes.'

'Tssk, a typical suggestion from someone with short hair,' Kanda scoffed.

Really, couldn't that man listen to any suggestion without making hateful comments? If one of them always started a fight it was obviously Kanda. 'Well, maybe you should cut it sometime too then,' he snapped back offensively, 'so people can't mistake you for a girl anymore. Or wear pretty dresses, they will love it.'

He got a murderous glare as answer.

Allen ignored it and stuffed his mouth full of chips again.

They continued what they were doing in silence for some time, then Kanda bound his hair with a tie and sat down again.

'Ne, Kanda,' Allen said less aggressive this time while he poured the last crumbs in his mouth and laid the empty bag on the ground. 'I really wonder when we'll get our new mission.'

'I've already got one.'

Allen straightened his back in surprise. 'What, really? When?'

'Yesterday. I'll leave at noon.'

'I wonder why I haven't gotten one yet.'

'Because you're just a useless Moyashi.'

The boy narrowed his eyes angrily. 'Stop calling me that. It's Allen.'

Kanda shrugged, imitating Allen's earlier gesture.

'But really, Kanda,' Allen stated returning to the subject of the window, 'you should replace the glass, it's becoming winter. Or do you like it when it's literally freezing in your room?'

'I don't mind, I'm not a whining Moyashi.'

'I'm not…!' Allen protested.

'What, did you feel addressed?'

'Dammit, Kanda!' He clenched his hands to fists in rage.

Somehow his visits always ended up like this. Why did he ever come here in the first place? Even Tyki would be better company than this jerk.

The man looked at him with an amused glance in his eyes, but his mouth was still a grimace as always.

'Well, I'm sure it's just because of some childish fetish of you or something.' Allen threw back as if it was a duel of who could offend the other the most. 'Is it the snow? Do you like snow in your room, so you can feel like an ice-princes with that beautiful long hair of yours?'

'I'd rather slice your throat with Mugen.'

'Not before I've cut yours with my Edge.'

They glared at each other like in the old days, but no weapons were drawn and after some time Allen turned away his face, that oddly enough started to burn. 'Let's just meditate again.' He said to change the mood.

'Are you an idiot?' Kanda answered grumpily, 'I said that I would leave at noon, it's already nearly that time. I have to go.'

'Oh… right…' Allen stood up and watched the man pick the few things he needed before he left the room with the empty bag of chips. 'See you after the mission, Kanda. Good luck.'

'Tssk, I don't need it.'

The boy closed the door with a demonstrating 'Bang' and walked away to his own room.

Well, it seemed he would have to meditate by himself for the time being. Kanda would probably be away for a few days, so he would need to learn it now. He looked at Tim who was riding his shoulder for a change. 'We'll be fine, right Tim? I've meditated enough times now to be able to do it on my own. I won't need Kanda anymore.'

The ball looked at him and nodded.

'I probably won't miss that jerk anyway.' Allen boasted. 'I'd probably be better off on my own.'

He reached his room and entered it. He locked the door and then realized that he had nothing to do here. Usually he went to help the science department around this time. He must have really been out of it because of Kanda's announcement to come here without noticing. He turned around again and left.

He would look for Johnny or Reever and ask if there was anything that he could do. If he would meet Komui on the way he could also ask about his next mission and how long Kanda's would probably take. No wait, he wouldn't need to ask something like that, it wasn't his business. He would see the samurai returning when he was done, it didn't matter how long it would take.

But he would ask about his own mission. He hoped he would get one soon.

* * *

However, he wouldn't. Komui had sent a lot of exorcists away already and wanted him to stay to defend the Order just in case. So he was doomed to staying home. But at least he wasn't alone. Lavi was there too, although most of the time he was with Bookman, working on stuff only Bookmen would understand.

And like that two days passed and Allen began to lose the urge to keep following his usual routine, causing him to somehow end up sitting on the windowsill one particular afternoon, knees pulled up against his chest, looking at the raindrops that splattered on the glass.

He had draped his arms around his legs and stared in nothingness, although a passerby would probably think he was looking at the grey sky. Tim, who had been sitting on the knees until now, flew away in surprise when Allen let his chin sink and rest on them. The golem flew a few restless circles above his head before landing on its owner's hair and started to nibble on the white strands.

'Neh, Tim, do you think Kanda will be away for much longer?'

The ball stopped chewing for a moment and Allen could see it looking at him in their reflection in the window. However no real answer came and Timcanpy just continued what he had been doing again.

The boy sighed and let his eyes slide shut. He felt so odd. Nothing seemed to soothe him. Even eating somehow didn't really bother him anymore. There had to be something wrong with him. Maybe he was falling ill. Going to the nurse might be a smart move now, but it was only his mental state. He didn't feel sick nor did any part of his body hurt. And then there were these thoughts of Kanda, which seemed to pop up in his mind all the time. Even now he could see the image of the stupid ponytail burning behind his eyelids. Was it because he had trouble meditating again? Or maybe something bad was going to happen to the man and these were some kind of premonitions?

Anyway, this wasn't like he used to be and he wanted to find out what caused it.

'Hey, Allen.'

The exorcist woke up from his thoughts as Lavi's voice reached his ears. He lifted his head and looked at his friend. 'Hey, Lavi,' he responded, feeling a bit surprised because he had thought the Bookmen would work the whole day together again, 'what are you doing here?'

Lavi grinned. 'I could better ask you. I'm just done with my work, but what are _you_ doing here? I've never seen you sitting on the windowsill like this before. You know, if I wouldn't know better I would say you are in love.'

'In love?' Allen pulled up a brow skeptically.

'Yes, in love,' the other stated while his grin grew even bigger. 'You are so absent-minded these days. It's like you live with your head in clouds. You also eat less and now you're sitting here, wasting time you could spend eating on the windowsill, eyes closed, obviously gone in thoughts again. It's not like you at all, Allen.'

'Well, I'm not,' the boy protested, 'Who should I be in love with anyway?'

'I don't know,' Lavi shrugged his shoulders, 'I can't read minds, you know. Just think about it yourself. Who have you met recently? Who do you think the most of?'

Allen widened his eyes as he slowly took in the words that were just spoken to him. _Who have you met recently? Who do you think the most of?_ He swallowed as he let the memories of the last days pass his mind at least twice, but only two things stood out so clearly that all the others seemed to disappear in darkness: his meditation meetings and his unstoppable thoughts of Kanda. He shook his head, but he knew what he had seen. He knew what Lavi's words could mean. But this was just ridiculous. He just thought so much about Kanda because the man had changed so much so suddenly, because his attitude to him had become better. But that could also exactly be the reason that…

'No!' He jolted up in horror. 'That can't be the one. That's impossible!'

It was only when Lavi looked at him with surprise and later amusement that he realized he had said the last sentences out loud.

'Well?' the redhead asked with a naughty smile, 'who did you think of?'

'No-one!' Allen snapped even before thinking. 'I… I just remembered something important. Have to go, see you later, Lavi!'

Then he jumped off the sill and walked away quickly. That turned to jogging after he had passed a corner and later even to running. He arrived at his room panting and immediately slipped in. He locked the door behind him and let himself fall on his bed.

No, it couldn't be right. Lavi was always just saying things, it didn't mean they were real.

He curled himself up into a ball and buried his face into the comfortable dark space between his legs and chest. It couldn't be true. Seriously, Kanda was a man! He couldn't be in love with his own gender. Or could he? He swallowed. Wasn't that something that happened pretty often? It wasn't really that unusual to be homosexual. But he wasn't! He had never been that way! He had even thought Lenalee was cute. He still thought that sometimes, when she wasn't in a bad mood. How could he even think of Kanda then?

His arms started to press against his folded legs with more and more force. Had he really never been what he had thought he was? But even then, even if he was someone who fell for guys, that still couldn't explain why Kanda. Of all people he met, Kanda seemed the most unlikely person to be in love with. That man was a jerk and had never been anything else than mean to him. Okay, maybe he had been a bit nice a few moments in the past few weeks, but that wasn't even nearly enough to be friends with the other exorcist, let alone in love…

A soft wing touched his cheek and made him look up. A white cross in a yellow background looked down on him as the feathers kept resting on his skin. Timcanpy must have noticed how bad he felt. The golem could probably come to the same conclusion as he had come to already.

'Tim, what do I have to do?'

A soft touch with a tiny paw was the only answer, indicating that Timcanpy also didn't know, but would be there to support him in any way.

Allen let his eyes dart around the room for a while, then just stared at the wall without really seeing anything except that longhaired image that had been stalking his head for days. It was unbelievable. He knew he should accept this, that it was impossible to fight his own emotions, but he couldn't, he just wouldn't give up and believe this idiotic realization, because that would mean he disgusted the same person he loved.


	15. Chapter 14

Allen: 'What the hell are you making me do?!' *looks very displeased and ambarassed*

Me: 'Sorry, Allen, but I just couldn't keep myself from writing that. It was just too funny' *laughs evilly*

Allen: 'But I would never do that!'

Me: 'You don't know that, you haven't been in love yet. Maybe you do have a little bit of a perverted side hidden somewhere, without knowing it. In this fanfic you do.'

Lavi: 'She could be right, Allen. You also have this dark side hidden inside of you after all. Nobody had expected it until that day you showed us your poker skills.'

Allen: 'But this...'

Me: 'Allen, I've made some mitarashi dango for you. It's in the kitchen.'

Allen: *forgets all about his troubles* 'Mitarashi dango!' *runs to the kitchen* 'Thanks for the food!'

Lavi: 'You've really learned how to deal with Allen.'

Me: *shrugs shoulders* 'It's not that hard at all. Kanda is a lot more difficult though. He still hasn't found out I'm back yet, but I've got the feeling that that is going to change soon...' *looks around anxiously*

btw, I'm sorry that there is not much Kanda (let's say none) in this piece of story. I'm not used to writing Kanda yet, so I don't want to write this from his pov (afraid I might mess up) and I thought I had to write about Allen while Kanda was still on his mission. He'll return next chapter. I also still have trouble writing Jerry, so I hope I did it well. Have fun reading.

* * *

When he woke up the next morning he didn't remember the previous day at first. He wondered why he was sleeping on his blanket instead of under it and why he felt so surprisingly tired. It only dawned on him the moment he sat up and saw Tim looking at him as if the golem was worried about his reaction. He looked at the ball for a few seconds, then sighed in desperation as all his memories flooded back and reminded him of the emotional struggle last night.

Was he really in love with Kanda?

He avoided his own question by standing up and picking some new clothes out of his closet. He put them on quickly, then made his way to the dining hall. His stomach rumbled and that common feeling made him feel a bit more comfortable. It was probably just all in his mind. He should forget about those obviously fake emotions. Lavi could always talk ridiculous things into your head, making you confused and uncertain. That was right, he wasn't in love at all. He was just starting to become a bit of friends with Kanda and he just missed his meditation sessions with the man.

'Hey, Jerry.' He stood still before the feminine man and smiled friendly. 'Could you get me some breakfast please?'

The chef turned around and smiled back broadly. 'Hello, Allen, of course I can. What would you like?'

Allen started rattling off his usual huge list of dishes, making only a few changes to vary his food so now and then. '…, Tomyank, rice and soba and as dessert I want a chocolate tart and 20 mitarashi dango, please.'

'It's on your way, just give me a moment.'

The man started cooking in an amazingly fast pace that still surprised Allen every time. Somehow the chef always managed to get him his food in less than an hour, no matter how much he asked for. Only when he was really busy it would take him longer, but on such occasions Allen would just settle with some leftovers until the chef would have time for him.

'And, do you already know when you'll get your new mission?' Jerry asked while he added some spices on a piece of meat he was baking.

Allen frowned uncomfortably when he was reminded of that frustration again. 'No, not yet. Komui said I'll have to wait until one of the others come back. He's afraid headquarters might be attacked if there aren't enough exorcists here to guard it.'

'Komui has always been a careful man,' Jerry commented kindheartedly, 'but I think he's right. An exorcist's job is not only on the field. Besides, you've been through quite a lot lately, some rest will be good for you.'

'But I'm fine, I don't need any rest anymore. I feel like I'll burst from all the stored energy within me if I stay inside any longer,' the boy grumbled back.

Jerry wisely kept his mouth and continued with his job for another quarter of an hour.

'It's pretty unusual for you to choose this menu,' the chef declared just before he was done. 'I was quite surprised that you would order soba.'

The exorcist's eyes widened in surprise. 'I did?'

Jerry looked up and chuckled. 'Got such a big appetite that you can't even remember your own dishes, do you? Yes, you did. But I like it, I miss making it since Kanda's been on a mission for some days already.'

Allen felt his body tense and tried not to frown in horror by the last statement. It had to be nothing. Just a coincidence. It was only natural for him to order it once after hearing Kanda about it so many times and running out of dishes to get. It had to be a misunderstanding.

But the moment Jerry gave him his meal and he smelled the distinctive scent of the soba he immediately knew he was lying to himself. He had ordered it unconsciously, but obviously because he had missed the scent of it lately. It soothed part of him and made him a bit melancholic, but another part of him panicked by his own reaction.

'Allen, is something wrong?'

The boy looked up in alarm, then tried to calm himself before all his emotions would be written on his face. He pushed his feelings away and forced himself to smile. 'No, nothing, I was just lost in thought. Thanks, Jerry.'

He quickly turned around and walked back to the table with his cart stocked with food.

'Have a nice meal!' the chef called behind him.

But Allen couldn't bring himself to answer.

Somehow all of his appetite had gone lost along the way. He sat down and put a plate before him, but instead of eating he started pricking in it with his fork. What was this? Why didn't he feel like eating? He had never experienced something like this before. He always wanted food, but somehow the scent of it made him a bit nauseous now. He knew he had to eat though. Everyone would worry if he didn't.

He managed to put some rice in his mouth and swallow it after chewing three times longer than usual. It tasted dry and unappealing, not like it should at all. Was it the rice or himself?

He tasted another dish and concluded it was all in his own head, because all the other food also tasted bad. Jerry's cooking always was delicious, so how did it come that he didn't enjoy it at all?

He forced himself to eat nearly all of it, but couldn't bring himself to take the soba after all. He kept staring at it in hesitation, sniffing up the scent and nudging the noodles. It only made him feel even more sick though and after some time he left all of his plates where they were and hurried to the bathroom.

Luckily he didn't throw up anything, but he spent minutes at the toilet to make sure. Then he walked over to the sink and washed his face, cooling his burning cheeks in the process. That was a lot better already. He just had to keep his head cool, then everything would be fine. He had probably just caught a cold or something, that would also explain why his head had started to hurt so much.

'Allen, are you alright?' Lavi peeked his head around the door. He wore a worried expression and observed the white haired boy thoroughly.

The other exorcist turned around in surprise. 'I'm fine. Is there a problem?'

'No, I was just worried about you. I heard you ate awkwardly slow today and then just left your plates without even finishing all of your meal. It's not like you to do that.'

'I'm sorry, I'll come back to clean up the plates in a few minutes. I've just caught a cold or something. Nothing to worry about.' He put on a smile, but could see the redhead was too stubborn to believe it.

'You don't need to, we already cleaned it up for you…' It stayed silent for a moment and Allen noticed that he was hoping the other would leave, but of course the young Bookman didn't, because he always looked right through his mask. 'I was also a bit worried since we had that talk yesterday. You seemed really confused when you walked away at the end of it. Won't you tell me about it?'

'It's nothing Lavi,' Allen assured him again. 'I just remembered something I had to do yesterday and I just feel a little sick.'

'Allen, if something's bothering you…'

'Sheez, Lavi, just believe what people say to you.' Allen made his way past the redhead, but his arm was grabbed on his path.

'I won't believe you when you obviously lie. Allen, I've never seen you lose your appetite. There is definitely something wrong.'

'Fine, do I really need to spell it out for you?' The boy snapped, finally too frustrated to keep up his act. 'I don't want to talk about it. So will you please leave me alone!'

Lavi's mouth straightened, but he nodded tensely. 'Fine, I can't force you if you don't want to.'

'Great, thanks,' Allen grumbled while he got to walk away from the other after all. 'And stop worrying about me! I'll be fine on my own.'

He sighed when he was finally alone in the corridors again and wandered around aimlessly. At some point he feared he had somehow lost his way in the giant building of the Order, but then he realized he had come to a halt before Kanda's room.

'No,' he told himself resolutely, 'I won't meditate here.'

For a moment he wondered what he would do instead and quickly decided on training after images of the longhaired man started to overflow his mind because of the familiar surroundings.

He walked to the training room quickly, although he knew deep inside, that he was actually fleeing from what he didn't quite understand.

* * *

Three more days passed and Allen felt himself only growing worse. Not only did he feel sick and did he have trouble eating, he also grew extremely anxious as it became more likely that Kanda would return. What did he have to do if the man came back home? How should he act? He didn't think he could be the same as before, but he couldn't change his attitude to the other either. Besides, facing Kanda, would mean facing his problem, and that was something he still had a lot of trouble with. He kept doubting his interpretation of his emotions. Kept questioning if he really had fallen in love with the man. Maybe he had just come to like him very much, like friends.

He passed Kanda's room three times a day already, before forcing himself to turn around and walk back. Then he would try to keep his attention on the snow falling or lying on the other side of the window, but it wouldn't work at all.

But this day he was fed up with it. He hated passing the door so many times without accomplishing anything. So what if he missed being there? He hadn't successfully meditated in days and the room might help him with it. It wasn't weird he wanted to enter. Besides, he had to find out about his feelings before the man came home and this might be some way to get a bit closer to the solution.

His hand rested on the handle for seconds. When he finally had collected enough courage and made sure no-one else was present in the same hallway he pushed it down slowly.

The door was locked.

He sighed in desperation, then looked around again. Time to use one of the methods he had learned during his training with his master.

He held up his hand. 'Tim, give me a paperclip or something.'

If the golem could have frowned, he would definitely have, but instead he spit out a paperclip he had swallowed earlier.

'Let's see if I can do this.' He bent the clip into a good position, then started fumbling into the lock with it. After something that seemed a very long time, he heard a satisfying 'click'.

Allen smiled unconsciously, before giving the clip back to Tim and entering the room. He closed the door behind him carefully, so no passersby would get suspicious.

He entered a surprisingly empty room. Never had he realized how little furniture Kanda possessed. Just a bed and a lotus in a jar. It made him uncomfortable. There had to be a closet somewhere, or at least anything else. Why did it suddenly feel so awkwardly empty without the man's presence?

But there was none, so he walked to the middle and sat down on the ground. This was bad, he was trespassing someone's room. And not even anybody's, but Kanda's for god's sake! What the hell was he doing?!

But he couldn't get himself to leave yet. _Just a few minutes of meditation_, he said to himself, _just a little more time to get to know my own feelings._

His eyes traveled away to Kanda's bed and suddenly he noticed the drawers under it. So that was where the man kept all his stuff. He had already thought it was impossible to not have a closet or something like that. Although he wasn't sure how many clothes Kanda possessed actually. Just like him, the man wore nearly the same clothes every day, so he probably had just as few clothes as he had.

His curiosity won from him and slowly he opened one of the drawers, revealing a nearly empty space, only filled with two little piles of clothes. Then he closed it again and felt strangely dissatisfied. Somehow he had expected more of it. But the only thing he got was some shirts, pants and the scent of clean clothes. Nothing interesting at all. Not that he was supposed to look in anyone's stuff anyway, but he had hoped for some kind of secret. A side from Kanda he hadn't known before.

He pressed his lips together tensely at that thought. Maybe this really meant…? No, it didn't… He just had to leave now. He would see Kanda when he would get back home, then they could meditate here again.

But he stayed and instead opened the other drawer, even though his own common sense kept screaming at him to stop trespassing the man's room.

Only a bit of underwear and again the scent of soap. He nudged the clothes hoping it would give something away, but it didn't, and he reclosed the drawer with a sigh.

Maybe he had to approach this differently. Yes, that was it.

'Think like Kanda,' he told himself silently, ignoring Tim who was flying around his head and had been looking at him with growing surprise since they had entered the room. 'Where would I hide interesting things?'

He looked around and locked his eyes on the lotus. Well, that was obviously one of those things. But he had seen the thing before and Kanda hadn't wanted to tell him what it was for. Apparently Kanda liked lotuses and he wouldn't find out why. It could just be because it was a beautiful flower, maybe Kanda had a bit of a gentle side after all.

He looked further and only ended at the second piece of furniture: the bed. Maybe something under or in his bed?

He lifted the matrass but couldn't find anything, then he groped the pillow and the blanket, but nothing was hidden there. In the end he didn't get any new information, so he settled down with being able to soothe the only last curiosity he had: what would Kanda's bed be like?

He lay down on it slowly and sighed again. This actually felt pretty good. After the broken window and little comfortable things Kanda had, he had expected a horrible bed actually, but it was pretty soft. And the pillow was really soft too.

He buried his face in it and grabbed the blanket. Somehow this felt really good. For the first time today he felt himself growing satisfied. Not the scent of clean things now, but a faint one of a living being, somewhere under the dust that had formed in those few absent days. It was obviously Kanda's smell, although Allen wouldn't be able to describe it. It just was nice and made him want to stay like this.

He breathed in again deeply…

WHAT THE HELL WAS HE DOING?! He jolted up in terror and jumped off from the bed so quickly that he crashed to the ground. HAD HE GONE INSANE? He had been sniffing Kanda's pillow!

He shook his head to clear it, but the memory of the scent stuck to it.

Enough, he had to leave now. He knew enough now. He didn't need to doubt anymore, but this was wrong. Even if he DID feel like this, he couldn't give in to it. It wouldn't turn out good anyway.

He stood up quickly, then bolted out of the room. Followed by Tim, who was overly surprised by his owner's behavior.

Allen didn't have any doubts anymore, but the confusion was still just as bad.

He kept his distance from that room for the rest of the days and mostly spent them training so much, that it became an obsession. That way he didn't have to think about all of it.

It took a week for Kanda to finish his mission and come back home. And like that the moment Allen had dreaded the most had finally arrived.


	16. Chapter 15

Lavi: 'This chapter is pretty short compared to the last ones.'

Me: *sighs* 'I know, but I only had this and I wanted to update. So just be glad with this short chapter. I hope everyone will like it.'

Lavi: 'That's probably no problem. You have loyal readers.'

Me: *blushes* 'I have. I'm so happy with them. I always feel really good after reading the reviews. I hope they'll keep on reviewing, it motivates me to write.'

Lavi: 'Don't worry, they probably will.'

Kanda: 'Who has been in my room!'

Me: 'Lavi!'

Lavi: 'EEHH? What? It wasn't me! Yu, you don't actually believe th...' *dodges Mugen* Ahh, stop that, Yu, please!'

Kanda: 'I already told you not to call me that!'

Allen: *bends over to me too busy eating mitarashi dango to start a fight with Kanda himself and whispers* 'What were you doing in Kanda's room actually? I saw you going in.'

Me: 'Well, I had to find out what it looks like to be able to write about it. So I just took a little look inside.'

Allen: 'You'd better not let him find out.'

Me: 'I won't. Don't worry.'

* * *

'Komui!' An outrageous voice rumbled through The Order as Kanda let his hand collide with the chief's desk with force.

'What's the problem, Kanda? Did someone put something into the baths again?' The scientist didn't really seem interested in the exorcist's killer intent at all and instead kept on paging through a file, looking at it with exhausted eyes.

More angermarks appeared on Kanda's face by this behavior. 'You know quite well what happened! Someone has been in my room and only YOU have a key!'

Now Komui _was_ interested. He looked up in surprise and faced the scary demon in front of him. 'No-one's been in your room, Kanda.'

'Don't lie to me,' the samurai hissed, radiating a fearsome aura that became more horrible with the second. 'I had locked my door before I left and when I got back it was open.'

Allen felt himself get redder with each word and backed away a bit. He had just finished his (for his standards) little breakfast when Lavi had ran up to him. The redhead had told him that Kanda was back and pulled him with him to the scientists' wing of the building.

And now the boy was regretting that he had ever let himself get dragged here, because he felt himself shrink by Kanda's murderous voice. If the man ever found out that he had been the one, or worse what he had done there, then he'd have the worst day ever in his life.

'Kanda, I can assure you no scientist has been there.' Komui frowned. 'At least as far as I know of. What would we have to do in your room anyway? You were very clear about not wanting your window fixed.'

The dark-haired exorcist bent over until his glaring eyes were just a few centimeters away from the glasses. 'Then tell me who else it could have been.'

Allen couldn't take the anxiety that was growing his chest any longer. He got trouble breathing and slowly backed away, trying to hide his embarrassed expression with his white hair.

'Allen, are you okay?' Lavi turned around and looked at him with surprise. 'Is something wrong?'

'I… I just need to…' The boy's mouth felt dry and he didn't know what to say anymore. His mind was a chaos of thoughts. What if Komui had an idea it had been him? What if someone else would tell Kanda about suspicions of him? His heart started to pump in a dramatical pace. He had to leave now.

'I need to go to the bathroom,' was all he managed to choke out before turning tail and fleeing to the so-called room.

He arrived panting and immediately plunged his head under a crane and let the water seep into his hair and collar. The cool liquid streamed over his glowing face and managed to calm him down a little, so his heart stopped running like he was fighting to death with a Noah.

That reaction was so exaggerating, he told himself with frustration. Yes, you've been there and he should never know, but you didn't need to get so fearful.

But he knew it hadn't only been that. There had just been a flood of emotions that had shut down his common sense entirely. It had confused him and made him even more fearful now that he knew what it was. The moment he had gotten Kanda into his sight he had already felt so overly happy and excited that he had wanted to greet the man like they were best friends. He had also felt very embarrassed when he was reminded of his act of trespassing from earlier and then there had been the fear. Not only because Kanda would be mad, but (he actually didn't want to admit it) also because he was afraid of what the man would think of him. He had managed to deal with the jerk finely for months and suddenly he didn't know how to react anymore at all. His emotions were all messed up and made him so confused that he'd rather not meet the samurai again. One problem: they were still colleagues.

He kept standing under the running crane like that until the door opened and he saw Lavi walking in from the corner of his eye.

'Hey, Allen, you were in quite a hurry.' The redhead leaned against the wall casually. 'Do you also not want to talk about this?'

Allen lifted his head out of the water and shut off the supply. 'It's nothing. I just think I've caught a severe cold.'

Water dripped from his hair into the sink and he wondered where he would get a towel to dry himself before drenching all his clothes.

Lavi was seemingly considerate enough and handed one over to him, wherever he had gotten it from.

'Really, Allen, what did you do in Yu's room?'

The boy's head jolted up from his towel and his eyes widened. 'Wha… how… why do you think it was me?'

Lavi smirked. 'Well, it obviously was and your reaction just made me sure of it.'

Again the face of the white-haired exorcist turned to a deep red color. 'I wasn't…'

'Stop lying, Allen. I have never seen you do that so badly.'

'But what would I have to do in Kanda's room?!'

'I don't know. Why don't you tell me?'

The boy avoided the redheads gaze and aimed it at the mirrors in front of him instead. He had to come up with a good lie now. It was obvious that Lavi was already persuaded by his guilt.

'I… Actually… I was searching for Tim. He was gone and I had to look in every room to make sure I would find him.' Was that really the best lie he could come up with?

'Right, because Tim always goes into Yu's room, right?' the other commented sarcastically.

'Okay, I'll admit it,' Allen snapped, using his real frustration to fake the reaction. 'I was just there to find some way to annoy that jerk. I wanted to find out about his weaknesses.'

Lavi grinned. 'Well, Allen, you have even more of a dark side than I already thought. And, did you find anything?'

The boy shrugged his shoulders. 'Only that he had a lotus in his room and that it seems important. No idea why though.'

The Bookman seemed a bit disappointed but also satisfied enough with the information his friend had provided him. 'Seems like our Yu has a hidden side as well. But next time, Allen, close the door.'

The boy looked back grumpily at this obvious statement. Then he remembered one his fears again. 'You're not going to tell him, are you?'

'Of course not,' the redhead stated with a big smile. 'Yu would really give you the evil eye. As long as you haven't left any other clues that it was you, then he'll never find out.'

But instead of making him feel reassured, he only felt his anxiety rise again. He swallowed heavily. Did he leave any clues? He really had no idea. He had left the room in a rush and hadn't returned anymore. What if Kanda would somehow find out that it was him? But how could he find out? Suddenly he clenched his teeth when he remembered his stay on the man's bed. Maybe he had lost some hair and everybody knew who's hair it was when they saw the white color. Or the pillow itself. He had laid on it and pushed his face against it. What if a trail of his scent had remained? Would Kanda recognize it, just like he had recognized his? No, that would be weird. He was the only one who had been overly sensitive to the other exorcist. Why would the man ever pay attention to his scent?

But he still couldn't shake the ominous feeling off. 'You really think he won't find out?'

Lavi shrugged his shoulders still bearing a slight smile on his lips. 'Well, it's Yu after all. You never know.'

Allen returned his gaze at the sink. He would be screwed if he had made more mistakes than leaving the door open. But there was no way to find out if he had. So he would have to continue his life until hell would break lose, or not.


	17. Chapter 16

Me: 'And here I am with a new chapter again! And this time it's more than three thousand words. I liked writing this chapter and I hope you'll like reading it just as much.'

Allen: 'Why have you written about christmas, it isn't even near christmas? It's even in the middle of summer in Europe!'

Me: 'Because I wanted to write about christmas. I'm the writer, I get to decide the time and place.'

Kanda: 'There you are. I won't forgive you for continuing this. Prepare to die!' *unsheathes Mugen*

Me: 'Oops, seems like someone finally noticed I'm back. Gotta go! Have fun reading!' *flees quickly*

* * *

The snow began falling in bigger flakes now. It covered the surroundings of The Order in a seemingly soft, white blanket and set the tone for the upcoming Christmas. It would still take two weeks, but Jerry was already trying to plan what to cook for those holidays and some people already seemed busy with thinking of what presents to buy.

Allen was far too absentminded to think about Christmas or his upcoming birthday at all. He was still feeling horrible and even his golem was becoming increasingly worried and showed it by following his owner around even more passionately and loyally than ever before.

It had been two days ago that Kanda had returned and up until now he had managed to avoid any contact with the man successfully. He always made sure to get his meals after Kanda had eaten and dodged him when he thought Kanda was approaching him in the corridors. They even hadn't made eye contact yet and still Allen could feel his heart make an excited jump whenever he even only _thought_ he was getting a glimpse of the man.

It was that particular morning however, that it went wrong. When he left his room to get his breakfast he noticed a certain man on the other side of the door.

'Kanda, what are you doing here?' Allen asked, feeling breathless of surprise.

The man turned his face away in annoyance and grumbled: 'I just wanted to tell you that if you want to meditate you have to do that now, I don't want to be disturbed later today.'

Allen faced the ground and shuffled his feet. Again Kanda gave him an opportunity to meditate, but his stomach was clenching itself together and his heart seemed to be able to break out of his chest any minute. He could better decline. Yes, that was a lot more sane then going with the man right now. He first had to get rid of these ridiculous emotions before picking up their schedule of meditating again.

'Thanks, but it seems I can meditate on my own now. I've been practicing while you were on the mission.'

The lie came out so stammering that he was sure Kanda wouldn't believe a word he said, but instead the man looked at him with an unreadable but obviously irritated expression. 'You're sure? I'm going to kill you when you come by later.'

Allen swallowed heavily and nodded. 'Pretty sure,' he said far softer than he had intended.

The samurai sighed nearly unnoticeable and turned around. 'Good, because one unwanted visitor in my room is already more than enough.'

It was good Kanda didn't look back anymore as he left, because Allen's face immediately colored to a bright red. He shut his door quickly and walked to the dining hall, unwillingly feeling disappointed and a bit hurt for being called an unwanted visitor.

However, it was not even half a day later that Kanda appeared in front of his door again, this time when Allen returned from his lunch.

Timcanpy was the first to warn him. The golem pulled at the white hair so his owner looked up from the ground he had been staring at mindlessly while letting his feet bring him to his room. His eyes widened when he recognized the exorcist in front of him. At first he felt his heart sink with the fear that the man had found out who had been the trespasser earlier, but he didn't see an expression of rage. Just the grumpy face he had grown used to.

'Kanda, is there a problem?' he asked carefully, not wanting to make the man angry after all.

'They want us to help decorating,' the samurai grumbled.

The boy's first reaction was confusion. 'Who? And decorate what?'

'Komui, Lenalee, the usagi, you know, all those annoying idiots want to decorate The Order for christmas,' Kanda spat, 'they told us to decorate the Christmas tree in the dining hall.'

Well, that explained a lot, but still not everything. He probably also had trouble understanding what the man meant because his mind was pulling his concentration to whole different objects, like the samurai's hair and the exaggerated reaction of his body to his presence. 'What tree, Kanda? I just was in the dining hall and there is no tree there at all.'

'Stupid Moyashi,' Kanda cursed, looking really annoyed from Allen's confusion, 'they are putting it there right now. It probably stands already.'

'It's Allen,' the other exorcist snapped back before he turned around. 'Well, let's go then. Though I don't understand why exactly _we_ have to work together. I'd rather have worked with someone else.' And he really meant the last sentence. Even though his heart made a jump of the thought of spending time with the man and he felt his stomach itch from excitement, he also didn't want to see Kanda at all. He hated these feelings, they made him feel sick and confused. He couldn't have emotions like this, he had to toss them away, but that wasn't really possible.

They made their way to the dining hall where indeed the Christmas tree was standing proudly. Others were busy decorating the rest of the room with garlands and special tablecloths.

'Allen, Kanda,' Lenalee approached them with a Christmas wreath in her hands. 'The decoration for the tree are in those boxes.' She pointed at a mountain of boxes standing against the wall. 'Make sure to decorate as much as you can. Use chairs if you can't reach the top.'

They nodded obediently.

'Oh, and, Allen, can I borrow Tim for some time? He would be perfect to help us hang things high on the wall.'

'Of course,' the boy answered nicely.

Then the female exorcist quickly ran to the other side of the room again when her brother called out to her. The golem sent his owner a last look before following her.

'So, where shall we begin?' Allen asked, walking over to the boxes and opening them one by one to see what they contained. 'I think we should hang the lights on the tree first.'

Kanda still stood at the tree looking very displeased.

The white-haired exorcist tried to ignore the lack of help from the samurai and pulled out a cable filled with lights. However, it hadn't been wound up properly so it was a huge, complex mess of knots.

'Kanda,' he yelled, being surprised he could still sound so annoyed even though he had such strong feelings for the man. 'Help me with this, will ya. We need to get them loose.'

The other sighed in annoyance, but came anyway and started pulling at the cables with a grumpy but concentrated expression.

It took them half an hour and a lot of frustration and even nearly a fight amongst themselves to free all the lights, but they somehow managed to. Kanda already wanted to place them in the tree when Allen told him to stop.

'Let's first see if they work,' he argued, picking up the plug and pushing it into a power source.

Of course the lights flickered happily… before they died out and stayed dark.

Allen grimaced and from next to him a death glare was sent to no-one in particular as Kanda hated everyone and everything right now, for making him have to deal with broken lights.

'So, what now, Moyashi?' the man asked with a cold voice.

Allen sighed. 'Checking which light it is.'

He sat down and started changing the lights one by one.

'But there are hundreds of them!' Kanda raged while he pulled his own share of the cord to him. 'This is ridiculous.' He started pulling off the lights to put new ones in it, but was far too rough and broke the first one immediately. The frustration that brought, made him grab the second one too harsh as well and it too gave in under his force.

'Stupid lights!' Kanda raged and he gave an irritated jolt on the cable.

However, his partner had still been busy with changing his own share of lights and had been holding it too. The force of the pull it received from Kanda while it was held in place by Allen was too much for the poor cable and it snapped in two.

This time it was the boy's turn to send a deathglare, however, his _was _meant for someone.

'You idiot!' he yelled, standing up. 'You ruined it. Now what are we going to use as lights?'

'Tssk.' Kanda turned his face away in annoyance. 'It was stupid anyway. I didn't choose to decorate this damn tree.'

Allen sighed and let himself sink on the ground again, not feeling the need to shout more angry words at the man. 'I haven't seen any other lights. Now what do we do?'

Lavi seemed to have noticed the commotion and joined them. 'I have an idea,' he said, as he looked in the boxes and then at the tree. 'I see some candles in here. Let's do it the old fashion way and put real candles in it.'

Allen pulled a brow up skeptically. 'Isn't that too dangerous?'

Lavi waved his protest away with a smile. 'Oh come on, they all did that not so long ago. It will be alright. Just be careful where you put them. Shall I help y…'

'Lavi!' Lenalee called out. 'We need someone for a few original Christmas stories, think you can get some for us?'

The redhead looked at them apologetically. 'Sorry, it seems they need me somewhere else. Just put the candles on safe places. I'm sure you'll be fine.'

He was gone already before they could disagree more.

Allen looked at Kanda, who stared grumpily to the wall. He regretted shouting at the man. The samurai had been right, he hadn't chosen for this. He had probably been pulled in by Lenalee and Lavi again, who had told him to help. It was not like Kanda had ever wanted to help with such things, neither did he feel anything for the decoration at all.

At the same moment he realized how stupid those thoughts were and forced himself to an annoyed state of mind. Kanda would just have to deal with it. He didn't have to always be a jerk like this.

'Come, Kanda, why don't you put the candles in the tree, then I'll do the decorations.' He didn't think the man would be good in the real decorating, he wasn't really a person for ornamentation.

He received an irritated glare, but the man stood up and grabbed the old lights while his companion started pulling out balls and stars to hang on the branches.

It didn't take Kanda long to finish the candles. That was exactly in time, because Allen had found out the tree was actually really tall and he couldn't reach the highest branches, even on a chair. So he ordered the man to take those as his job and continued decorating the rest.

They were busy for four hours. Allen was very aware of the other man's presence who kept walking around him to move the chair into a better position before stepping onto it again. Whenever he took a look at the tree he saw Kanda and when he started sprinkling glitters on the leaves they would flutter down on him as well. The dark hair started to sparkle in all the colors of the rainbow as time passed on and it made Allen's attention shift to the samurai even more. A few times he caught himself on staring to the exorcist with wonder and turned off his burning face to quickly hang a ball on one of the branches, taking it off seconds later again, because it actually didn't soot there at all.

There finally came a moment Kanda got off the chair and they both looked at the tree with a satisfied expression.

'Just one more thing,' Allen said while he walked over to a box and pulled out a big silver star. 'We have to add this tree-topper to the point of the tree.'

Kanda took it over and stepped on the chair. However, when he tried to reach to the top he just couldn't reach it good enough.

Allen looked around to ask help of taller Lavi oe flying Tim, but all the others had already moved on to decorate other rooms of the huge building, so there was no-one.

'Maybe you can lift me,' he suggested reluctantly, though he felt a bit excited at the idea as well. 'I could put it on the top of the tree.'

The samurai looked at him with reluctance as well, but after some time he offered his companion the star and stepped on the chair. He kneeled down to grab Allen by his waist.

The boy felt himself blush at the contact they suddenly made and hoped with all his heart that Kanda wouldn't be able to see it. The next moment his feet came off the ground and the boy had to keep all his attention on staying in balance and not topple over.

However, putting a tree-topper on the top wasn't as easy as he had imagined. He remembered doing it when Mana lifted him, but that had been another tree-topper and he had been a lot more stable when his foster father had held him up as a little kid.

It took a minute of fiddling, but after it the star stood upright and strong.

'Are you already done, Moyashi?' Kanda grumbled from under him.

'What's the matter, Kanda?' Allen couldn't help to tease. 'Am I too heavy for your strong arms?'

'Shut up,' the man protested. 'It's just that your butt is nearly in my face.'

Somehow that thought made the boy really embarrassed. He felt his head turn red and his heart accelerated. 'Well, that's not my fault,' he squeaked, confused by his own reaction.

He couldn't help but immediately feel Kanda's hands burn his waist again. He tried to shift his attention, but instead the man's grasp tightened.

At first Allen was surprised by it. It was already too late before he realized the exorcist had just tried to prevent him from falling, because he was toppling over slowly. He wasn't fast enough in shifting his concentration to his balance again and they toppled over the chair together with a shout.

Allen hit the floor with his head and first needed a few seconds to recover from all the stars that were dancing before his eyes. Then he realized he was lying on Kanda and quickly stood up.

However the blow on his head proofed harder than he had thought and he immediately lost balance and fell back on the man who grunted in annoyed protest.

'Sorry, Kanda,' he muttered, now lying on the man's chest with his face.

He had planned on crawling off the man as soon as possible, but he got distracted by the scent he had found during his trespassing as well. This time, though, it was much stronger and supported by a heavy heartbeat. The chest moved up and down slowly, following Kanda's breath. He could feel the man's warmth through his clothes and felt his face burn when he realized he didn't feel the urge to get off at all.

'Stupid, Moyashi, just get off of me.' Kanda gave him a rough shove so Allen hit the ground again and groaned as his head hit it again.

The boy pushed himself in a sitting position carefully and tried not to flinch from the pain in his head. Kanda had sat up as well, his face turned away and his arms folded in an grumpy gesture.

'Sorry, Kanda,' Allen repeated, happy that the other didn't see his red cheeks. 'I guess I hit my head harder than I thought.'

He smiled uncomfortably when the man turned around to face him again and hoped his blushing would be interpreted as embarrassment for the awkward situation.

'I don't care,' Kanda responded as he stood up. 'Just don't get me caught up in it.'

Allen tried to stand again, which went a lot better this time. He staggered for a moment, but the other exorcist unexpectedly grabbed his arm to help him find a stable position before letting go again.

'Seems like we're done,' the boy stated in an attempt to shift their attention to something else. 'It looks pretty good I think.'

Kanda tilted his head a little as he looked at the tree. 'It doesn't look too bad,' he admitted reluctantly.

Allen smiled.

'Great, now you can put on the candles and show us your piece of work.'

They both turned around to see Komui coming through the door, followed by everyone else. Apparently nobody had seen their awkward moment though, because they didn't mention anything about it.

'Well, Yu, Allen,' Lavi told them as he wrapped his arms around their shoulders and ignored Kanda's deathglare for using his first name. 'I hadn't thought you would have had it in you to make it so pretty.'

'It looks good indeed,' Lenalee agreed.

Reever offered Allen a box with matches to light the candles and the exorcist went to the tree to do the last of his job. He lighted them carefully, not wanting anything to catch fire and then stepped back slowly.

'I have to admit, I think we did some good work, even for you, Kanda,' he said, on which the other exorcists 'Tssk'-ed as only reply.

'Everyone has,' Lenalee responded in a smile. 'The whole building looks so good and happy. It really feels like home like this.'

Allen felt a nostalgic feeling flood over him, remembering his Christmases with Mana. He had always thought of that as the happiest time of the year. It seemed he would finally experience that again. He smiled at the idea.

'It does,' he agreed with a warm feeling. 'It really is home.'

'Allen,' Reever's voice pulled him out of his happy daydreams. 'Are you sure that's what it's supposed to look like?'

They all turned their attention on the tree. A branch had started to burn and now flames were starting to creep up to the stem in a quick pace.

'WAAH!' Allen shouted in surprise.

'Oi, Allen!' Lavi yelled in distress. 'I told you to be careful with the candles!'

'I was!' the boy protested.

'Stop bickering and start extinguishing this!' Reever called as he ran to the kitchen to get buckets of water.

The others followed him, receiving water from Jerry, who had already started filling them.

However the water came too slow and the whole tree was already all in fire before they were able to stop the flames. In the end they just gave up, watched out that nothing else caught fire and looked at it sorrowfully.

Allen sighed in regret. 'There goes all our hard work.'

Lenalee chuckled and put an hand on his shoulder. 'Don't worry, Allen, the rest of The Order is well decorated and at least this looks beautiful too, don't you think?'

The boy looked up and realized she was right. However, he didn't see the same spectacle as the rest of them. His attention was caught by the image of the one standing in front of the tree. His dark hair blown around by the heated air and his posture straight and confident. Kanda's silhouette was dark against the raging flames, but the combination was beautiful and suitable. He was like a raging fire. Passionate when fighting and protecting his friends, but also hot and dangerous for his own companions. But the warmth he caused in Allen's chest was real too.


	18. Chapter 17

Allen: 'I still don't like what you're writing about me, but...,' *turns to dark mode* 'Kanda really has to see this, heh heh heh. He'll love it. I'm going to get him.' *walks away*

Me: 'Then let's finish this before he comes back and my life gets threatened again.'

Lavi: 'Good idea.'

Me: 'I've finally decided to try out Kanda's pov, because I was asked for that by some people. That brought me some problems at first. I had to make a slight change in the course of actions (though it still turned out a bit different than I had expected at first, but it was for the better) and most of all: I had to try to understand Kanda's thinking. I'm not sure if I really succeeded, but I at least don't have a _bad _feeling about it, so I probably didn't mess up all of it. First of all I realized Kanda isn't stupid. He is a jerk and he doesn't care about most people and just doesn't really pay attention to them, but I think that there are actually some humans that _are_ important to him and I think that when he _does_ pay attention to them once in a while, he actually understands more about them than you would think. The reason he seems so clueless is probably more because he just doesn't know how to solve the problems when he sees someone who's sad or needs him, not because he didn't notice it. So, with that thought in mind I started to write this chapter.  
I really hope I wrote well in his pov (especially the last part), but if someone has any remarks about what I could do better, I'd gladly accept them, because it will help me to get better. Just normal reviews are welcome as well of course' *smiles* 'I'm sorry, this authorsnote got really long again. Just enjoy reading now.'

* * *

That guy annoyed Kanda to no extent. It wasn't like his usual irritation though. This time it really mattered to him. It kept him restless and clung to his mind all day and night. The frustration had dug his claws deep into his soul and wouldn't let go, ever since he had gone on that last mission.  
The thing he hated the most about that Moyashi was that he didn't hate him anymore. That probably sounded incomprehensible to anyone else, but the fact was that that idiot had messed up his meditating spirit. So now it wasn't _the Moyashi_ that needed _him_ anymore, but the other way around and that made him feel seriously outraged, especially because that idiot wouldn't come by anymore.  
So now he didn't meditate in his own quiet and peaceful room anymore but in the training hall, secretly hoping the Moyashi would show up sometime. Which he of course never did. Neither did he in the lounge, science department or any other place Kanda would go to meet him. Even the dining hall was eerily calm without his usual irritating presence and the man also had to admit that his soba seemed a bit tasteless ever since.  
He could wait in front of the guy's room, until he came out, but his pride wouldn't allow him to do that without a good excuse. Actually that had also been why he hadn't complained that time Komui had ordered them to decorate the tree together, even though Lenalee and the Usagi had already been thinking of other solutions. However, he had regretted that a little after all, as the stupid Moyashi had awoken even more annoying emotions he would rather lose than gain. What the hell was that stupid idiot doing to him?!

This time Kanda searched through the whole Order to find the white-haired exorcist but again he was nowhere to be found. So he sat down on the ground in the training hall and acted like he was meditating.

However, a sharp-eyed person would be able to see that he wasn't. He would be able to see that Kanda's muscles were far too tense and that his expression wasn't calm and peaceful enough. Of course that was what happened exactly, as a certain redhead sat down next to him.

'Hey, Yu, you seem tenser than usual.'

The man opened his eyes and glared at the individual that dared to use his first name again. Was there really no way to keep the annoying brat from doing that? He didn't like the sound of it. Yu was gone, he died years ago. He was Kanda now, no-one else.

'Is something troubling you?' the Usagi continued while he stretched out with his back lying on the ground.

'Hmpf,' Kanda turned his face away, not feeling any desire to share his feelings with this annoying guy.

'Oh, come on, Yu, everyone sees you're different than usual these days,' the redhead insisted. 'Really, what's with you guys these days? Allen is acting confused and depressive, you are tense and come to places I've never seen you before. Did some kind of chemical spill on you guys or something? It's just weird.'

Most of the words just got thrown out by his mind as soon as they entered, not interesting enough to think about, but there was one sentence that caught his attention. _Allen is acting confused and depressive… _

'What's the matter with the Moyashi?' he asked, suddenly wondering if that was the reason he hadn't seen him these days.

The other exorcist widened his eyes in surprise. 'Allen? You're asking me about him? I didn't know you we're interested in him.' Then he smirked naughtily. 'No, wait, don't tell me you guys are actually becoming friends after all?'

Kanda hated how that baka-Usagi never minded his own business. Like he would tell that idiot a thing about what was going on. So he spat a hostile answer back. 'Tssk, like I would ever like that stupid idiot. Now tell me what's the matter with him.'

The redhead flinched for a moment then shrugged his shoulders. 'Okay then, if you really want to know so badly. I don't know what's going on with him exactly, it seems he doesn't tell anyone, but I think he's in love and has problems with it.'

Kanda looked back in surprise and even though he knew he should stop asking, he somehow wanted to know more about that idiot that irritated him so much. 'What makes you think that?'

'Well, when you were on a mission I told him that he looked like he was in love,' the Usagi explained, 'and when he seemed to be thinking about who it could be he said: 'No! That can't be the one. That's impossible!'. So I think he's in love with someone indeed, but doesn't like it. I guess he's in love with Lenalee and is scared of Komui.'

Kanda frowned and thought about the possibility. Could it be that the Moyashi had locked himself up in his room because of that? It seemed unlikely. _If he is really so depressed than it seems the meditating isn't working at all, so why is he avoiding me?_

And like that the first suspicions were born, but they were still so tiny and so unlikely that he pushed them out of his mind.

'So, Yu, are you finally going to tell me what's bothering you lately?'

Kanda had heard what he wanted to know and was fed up with it now. So he sent the annoying redhead a furious glare. 'If you don't immediately leave now, I'll cut you to pieces for using my first name again!'

Apparently the Usagi saw the serious intentions on his face since he stood up and backed away quickly. 'It's okay, I'll go back to my room. See ya!'

The long-haired man sighed in relief now that the annoying idiot was gone and closed his eyes. The meditating seemed even more impossible than before though, so in the end he just stood up and started walking through the corridors again.

Apparently the white-haired boy he had been searching for all those days hadn't expected him to be around at this time and suddenly they stood face to face when Kanda turned around a corner. They looked straight in each other's eyes in surprise for a moment.

However now that he had heard about the Moyashi's unusual behavior he spend more attention to it and that made him notice the red blush that quickly rose on the boy's cheeks before he turned his eyes away and took a step back.

'I.. I'm sorry, Kanda,' the Moyashi stammered. 'I was just on my way to the dining hall.'

He stepped aside to pass, but the man wouldn't let that happen now that he had finally found him.

Instead he turned around as well and walked beside the boy. 'I should go and get some soba as well, before the dining hall is busy with other annoying people.'

The white-haired exorcist looked up. His face was still slightly colored and his expression was one of shock and reluctance. 'No… I mean, yes, of course. It's just…'

Kanda stared at the Moyashi with interest for a while, then started walking again as he realized no useful answer would come out of the boy's mouth.

'Stop standing there for nothing, stupid Mo… Allen. Say what you want to say or shut up.'

The other apparently decided to follow the orders as he tailed Kanda but didn't say a word anymore.

When they finally arrived at the dining hall they both ordered their meal, which was ready in a short time. Kanda picked an empty table and told the Moyashi with a glare to come sit there too.

The boy seemed very unhappy, but did as he was asked and took a seat on the opposite.

It was then that the man realized that there was an awfully tiny pile of plates in front of him. The other exorcist ate slowly and seemed to not enjoy his food at all, which seemed so out of character that Kanda felt himself growing annoyed.

'Stupid, idiot,' he spat when he had taken a second bite of his soba and realized he wasn't tasting it at all because he kept irritating himself on the way the other ate. 'Here, eat this.'

He shoved his own dish in front of the boy with a violent movement. 'You eat like a sick dog, it's annoying me.'

The boy looked at the soba in surprise, then looked at Kanda in shock and then back at the soba.

'I… Thanks, but… I'm not really hun…'

'Eat it,' Kanda hissed, feeling even more irritated by the refusal. You didn't reject such a good meal, especially not when you were an always hungry scavenger like the Moyashi.

The other exorcist paled now and slowly picked up his fork. Kanda watched as the boy picked the soba up with what should have been chopsticks and put the noodles in his mouth.

'That tastes better, doesn't it,' the long-haired exorcist grumbled as the other still chewed slowly.

The Moyashi nodded and suddenly started to blush. He dug his fork in the food again and this time took a bite, seemingly a lot more enthusiastic than before.

'Thanks, Kanda,' he declared in a hoarse voice after eating nearly half of the man's dish. 'I feel better now.'

The man felt good again himself too now that the Moyashi ate again and seemed to appreciate his offer. Somehow giving away his soba didn't really bother him anymore now since his annoyance had finally faded.

'I'll get more,' he stated as he stood up and started walking to the chef.

A short time later he returned with a lot more soba and put most of it in front of the Moyashi. He took one of the meals himself as well to make up for the one he had given away and started eating again while the boy finally dug in like he had been starving for weeks.

When they were done the Moyashi stood up and gathered his empty plates. He avoided the man's face while he put them on his cart. 'I'll go back to my room.'

'Hmpf,' was all Kanda could say. He knew he didn't have a good reason to complain, but he didn't like it that the boy already started avoiding him again now. The presumption that had passed his mind many times already since his talk with the Usagi passed his mind again. It seemed unlikely, but there always was a chance. Suddenly he was really done with it and he grabbed the Moyashi's wrist to force the boy to look at him.

'What's wrong with you?' he spat in anger and frustration. 'You aren't eating and you're annoying the hell out of me. You're even worse than usual. And did you really think I wouldn't notice what you are doing? Just why are you avoiding me? Why do you lock yourself up in your room?'

The surprised and blushing face soon turned to horror as he took in the words of the man. Kanda could see how the other exorcist clenched his teeth and grimaced in a troubled expression.

It was silent for a few seconds and the man had to admit he started to regret being so forceful on him for a moment, but then the Moyashi talked and, again, annoyed the crap out of him.

'I'm just not really feeling well. I think I've caught a cold or something.' He pulled his arm free and walked away quickly, leaving his mess on the cart in the middle of the hall.

Kanda couldn't care less about not cleaning up and instead followed the Moyashi with angry steps. He only caught up on the fast walking boy at his room. He turned the other exorcist around and pushed him against the door in a violent movement.

'Cut the crap now, Moyashi,' he growled while he put even more force on the boy's shoulders who huffed in pain and shock. 'Now tell me what's going on or stop acting liked this.'

The Moyashi, no Allen, looked at him with frightened but hurt eyes, which were clouded with worry and confusion. However, that was just for one second, because suddenly the boy had found his old mask again and turned away his face with a grumpy expression.

'You would call me Allen, Bakanda.'

Kanda widened his eyes in rage then lifted the boy a little and slammed him back against the door. 'I can't believe it,' Kanda hissed before he even thought about what he was saying. 'You're so annoying. I really hate you. You keep irritating me with whatever you do. Don't come back to me to meditate anymore, I'll cut you to pieces with Mugen!'

Allen looked at him with a hurt expression before pushing him off when Kanda expected it the least. He turned around, opened the door and slammed it shut behind him. The man could hear the key turn on the other side.

Okay, he was sure now. He had seen the painful expression in the Moyashi's eyes. This wasn't about Lenalee or Komui, then the boy wouldn't have kept it so much of a secret. He knew Kanda would never tell that stupid Komui a thing about it. He would at least have spilled _something_. Besides the reactions of the boy on his words and actions were clear enough. Kanda wasn't blind or stupid, he just didn't usually care about people and thus didn't pay attention to them, but these signs were obvious to him.

Allen was probably in love with him.

However unlikely it seemed, it was the best explanation he could come up with. He didn't know how to react to that conclusion and thus just turned around and walked back to his own room, sunken away deep in his thoughts. Maybe he shouldn't have said the last sentences. They had to be very hard to swallow for a person with that kind of emotions and even though the guy annoyed him to no extent, he hadn't wanted to break his heart, not in this way. But he had been frustrated by the behavior of the boy. Had felt the urge to force the words out of him. Maybe he had wanted to know for sure.

Perhaps, though he didn't want to admit it to himself, he had reacted the way he had, because he was actually considering the possibilities of that love himself.


	19. Chapter 18

Me: 'I'm sorry it took a bit long for me to update, but here is finally the new chapter. I really look forward to writing the next chapter, but that also makes it harder for me to write it, because I want to do it really well, so please me patient. I'll try to write it within this week, because I'll be away for three weeks after friday and I'll probably won't have internet.'

Allen: 'So, three weeks no yullen?' *looks very hopeful*

Me: 'Not on the internet, but I'll take my pc with me, so I'll still try to write there.'

Allen: *sighs desperately* 'You're really not going to stop this anymore, are you?'

Me: 'Not planning to indeed. But Allen, you look way too sad, I know times have been hard on you in the manga...'

Allen: 'Yeah, I didn't even get one picture in the new chapter! It was all Neah!' *looks furious and disturbed* 'And the things he used my body for. I'll punch him whenever I get the chance. That'll teach him for stealing someone else's body.'

Me: 'Come on, Allen, calm down. Anyway, what I wanted to say was: Here, have some mitarashi dango.'

Allen: *eyes start to glimmer* 'Dango! Thank you.' *munches happily*

Me: 'Have fun reading the new chapter and please keep sending such great reviews.' *smiles cheerily* 'I really love the ones I get, thank you all very much. They really cheer me up whenever I read them.'

* * *

Allen felt horrible for the next few days. For a moment he found himself denying it was because of what the man said, but he knew Kanda's words had hurt him. He didn't understand it though. The other exorcist had said things a lot worse than that to him before without him feeling anything more than anger, but now it made his heart squeeze together.

His head hurt and he felt even more sick than before, making him not able to eat much at all since that last meal with the man. And that time was exactly what made it so hard on him. They had eaten together in the dining hall. Kanda had even shared his soba with him! For a moment Allen had thought he cared, as the man tried to make him eat and even sacrificed his own favorite dish for it. But then it had suddenly all disappeared in a flash. The grumpy caring Kanda had changed to an outrageous jerk and had said the worst thing Allen could imagine for now. He had said he didn't want to see him anymore. In some way, the other exorcist had told him they would never meet again and that there was not even a form of friendship possible anymore.

Allen felt heartbroken, even though he knew it was for the best.

So he avoided the man even more than before, moving through the corridors slowly and quietly so he could escape when needed. Though he didn't have to do that often. The only times he got outside his room was in the morning and evening to eat, the rest of the time he would spend isolated, which he could see was starting to worry his friends but he didn't know how else to handle the situation.

However, just like every time he tried to avoid the man, there was always a moment he couldn't; like now. He looked at the empty bottle of shampoo, tried to get some out with everything he had, but not a drop of it was left. He sighed deeply as he put it back and avoided to look in the mirror, which would show his exhausted and desperate face that immediately reminded him of the horrible pain in his chest.

It was very early in the morning. Everyone of the science department was finally sleeping after overworking a whole night and the corridors were empty and silent. Allen strolled through them in search for anyone to borrow some shampoo from to wash himself after sweating so much from training this morning, but there was no-one he encountered. Everyone seemed asleep or was gone like Lavi. He only saw Miranda for a moment, but he didn't feel like smelling like a girl and decided to at least borrow some shampoo from a man. However, there was none.

There was only one person he could think of that was probably awake, but only the thought sent chills down his spine already.

Kanda would definitely have shampoo, he had all that long hair to keep clean after all, and he would probably be awake, as he would spend just as much time on training as he did. But going to the man felt really wrong after that obvious rejection.

He wandered about a bit longer until he had to admit to himself that there was no other way. He sighed deeply and desperately before turning around and heading to that well-known room.

He had been right: the moment he knocked, Kanda opened the door with a grumpy but not sleepy face.

'What are you doing here?' the man asked not nicely at all.

Allen tried to put his usual grumpy face on to hide the complex emotions that all fought each other until his mind was a huge chaos of uncomfortable confusion. 'I… My…' He cleared his throat and breathed out deeply to at least make himself able to think of a proper sentence. 'I don't have any shampoo left, so I wondered if I can borrow yours.'

Kanda pulled up a brow, but turned around and walked back into his room. Allen waited outside and tried not to peek through the crack between the door and the wall. His heart beat so violently that his chest was starting to hurt from it and his lungs began having trouble to work properly.

Then the man returned and held something out for him.

The boy accepted it mindlessly and only realized something wasn't right the moment he felt it pass the skin of his hands. This wasn't a bottle.

He looked at the object in his hand, then cast Kanda a skeptical glare. 'I said shampoo, I still have more than enough soap.'

The man glared back just as intense and snapped grumpily: 'That's all I have, Moyashi. Take it or leave.'

Allen shuffled on his feet from the angry voice but tried to hide how uncomfortable it made him. This was obviously not what he had asked for. If he had wanted to soap, he could have used his own. Was it that Kanda wouldn't want to lend his shampoo to him? He observed the man for a short moment and concluded against it. Kanda didn't do things that way. If he hadn't wanted Allen to use his shampoo, he would have said that straight out. But that meant the man would wash his hair with soap and that was just the weirdest thing Allen had ever encountered, at least, for someone who had the money to buy the proper product.

However, he felt too insecure to decline or complain now and instead sent the man a puzzled glance. 'Well, thanks I guess… I… I'll return it later.' Then he turned around and walked away, trying not to pay the other anymore attention at all.

* * *

Washing himself like that, with only soap and especially _Kanda's_ soap, felt really weird. At first he wondered how it was even possible to wash one's hair with soap, but his past life of being broke nearly all the time had given him a creative mindset. So after figuring out that just stroking the piece of soap over his hair wouldn't do much good, he decided to keep moving it in between his hands until they were all covered in foam and put that in his hair instead before making more foam to wash the other strands as well.

All in all it took a lot more time than usual, but it worked out fine enough and his hair was clean, well, kind of. Though he could have used his own soap for it and could have washed the rest of his body with his own as well, but somehow Kanda's had some kind of an appeal he couldn't withstand. The moment he used it he knew why, because his face started to burn the moment he imagined Kanda using the same thing while he washed himself in similar way.

After an hour he finally returned to Kanda's door to give it back. However, the moment he knocked the door flew open violently and a furious exorcist appeared, katana unsheathed.

'For the last time, Komui, I don't care about Christmas presents!'

Allen backed away in shock before Kanda recognized him and let his expression of rage disappear.

'Moyashi.'

'The name's Allen,' Allen found himself responding automatically, 'I came to return the soap.'  
He offered it to Kanda, but the man stepped back instead and opened his door. 'Come in.'

Allen froze in surprise. Hadn't the man told him to not come by anymore before? It really seemed like he was being invited right now though. But he couldn't! He had to stay away, at least until his emotions had calmed down. He had to think of an excuse!

'Why were you so mad at Komui?' he asked in an attempt to dodge the question.

Kanda snorted in annoyance, though it was not clear to Allen if it was because he hadn't answered or because of the scientist the man was so irritated about. Perhaps it was a combination of those two, but at least the man answered normally, although slightly angry.

'That stupid guy kept asking me about the Christmas presents I want. Like I care about them. Stupid Christmas. It's the most annoying holiday of all.'

Allen couldn't help but chuckle. 'I figured you hated it.'

Something in Kanda's eyes gave Allen the feeling that the man approved of that reaction, but he looked as irritated as ever.

'So, come in,' the man insisted grumpily.

'I can't!' Allen protested, feeling a bit of despair now.

Kanda's eyes darkened but his voice still sounded the same as before. 'Why not?'

'I… I…' He had to come up with a good reason now. He looked around to find anything that might help him think of something. His eyes stuck on Tim flying next to him and for some reason the golem made him remember that outburst of Kanda about Komui. 'I've still got to buy presents for everyone.' He answered uncomfortably but also relieved because he had found a good argument that was even slightly true. 'I'm sorry, Kanda, but I really have to go to the town to buy them.'

'Tssk, stupid Moyashi,' the man commented, looking more displeased than usual, 'I really don't understand all that Christmas crap. Fine, go buy your presents.'

'It's Allen,' the boy snapped back before walking away. He turned around a few meters later though just before Kanda shut his door. 'And thanks for letting me borrow your soap.'

The door closed.

Allen sighed as the tension finally flowed out of his mind and body. Well, at least he had something to do for the moment. Now that he had told the other exorcist that he would buy presents he didn't really have another choice anymore than to do it. He didn't want to face the other's anger if it turned out he had lied.

So like that he left the building a short time later and headed to the town to get his presents.

* * *

Apparently he wasn't the only one buying his presents in the last week before Christmas. The streets were full of people and the stores didn't have any free space anymore, making entering feel like struggling through a wave of humans.

He passed several windows with the most happy and cozy displays, but it didn't make his job any easier. He really had no idea of what to buy for everyone. He wanted to do it good. He had saved some money he had gotten from The Order for this moment, but now he didn't know how to spend it.

For Lavi he felt like he had to buy something that would be useful for a Bookman. But he didn't really know what Bookmen did _exactly_, apart from just 'recording history'. So he was doubting about buying a good pen, a notebook or some other books. Books seemed the best present to him, but he had no idea of what kind of book Lavi would like and thus that option seemed pretty much useless.

However, he still felt that he couldn't give up that easily and went from one store to another, meanwhile looking for presents for other people as well.

He finally found Lavi's presents in a book store after all. The moment he entered the shop the strong, evident scent of old pages hit his nose. He breathed in deeply and immediately felt that this was the place to be. He walked along the countless shelves filled with books. Some looked so old that it seemed they would fall apart the moment you touched them, others looked totally new, with shiny covers and deep white pages. However, he still had no idea which kind of text he was searching for and that didn't really make it easy for him with so much to choose from. Lavi was a Bookman, he probably had read all history books already. He had to make sure to not buy a book the boy already had read sometime, because he could probably quote every word of all the pages literally without making any mistakes, even if it was from five years ago. Those precise memoryskills even creeped Allen a bit out sometimes but luckily Lavi didn't show them very often.

He let his finger slide over the backs of the books slowly, reading every title and sometimes pulling out a book that seemed interesting to page through it and put it back again because he didn't think it was what he was searching for.

He soon discovered that every book was different. Never before had he paid so much attention at so many of them at once. For example the scent. The new ones smelled entirely differently than the old ones. The books that were on the edge of becoming old didn't have much scent, but if you tried you could smell a part of both scents in them. It also depended on the used materials. Some had a heavy leather scent from the cover. Others smelled like the things they were about, like the one about spices that bore their scent with it probably because it was kept near them for a long time. The used letters also differed from one book or another, as did the ornaments. Some were very boring and empty, just filled with straight letters put in precise positions. Others were even still hand-written, filled with drawings of flowers, animals or kings.

Suddenly, after a quarter of an hour searching in the silent and calm atmosphere the books gave the store, a man appeared next to him and smiled.

'Hello, sir, can I help you with something? Are you searching for a special book?'

Allen looked up in surprise, not having heard the man approach, then returned the smile. 'Well, I've got this intellectual friend who reads _a lot_ and I want to buy a Christmas present for him.'

'So you're searching for a good book for him that he hasn't read, yet,' the man concluded while his eyes traveled over all the shelves in sight. 'I might have a few suggestions for you. Follow me.'

Allen walked after the man to a certain spot where one book was pulled out off the shelf and pushed into the exorcist's hands.

'What about this?' the man asked. 'It's an old book which has only a hundred copies from all over the country. It's pretty unknown to most because it's a pretty difficult book to read, but I assure you, I've read it myself, it's a really good one. The writing is spectacular and very original. If your friend has a feel for literature he'll love it.'

Allen looked at the book, feeling a bit lost with his lack of knowledge of these things. It looked really old indeed, but well-maintained. The cover was a deep black with some scarred edges caused by it's age. The title was put on it in decorative golden letters and the front and back were covered in beautiful elegant ornaments, also drawn on it in gold. He opened it and immediately smelled the strong scent coming from the old pages. The letters looked neat and precise. The paper had turned to yellow, but there were no dirty stains nor tears in it. He read a few sentences, noticed the heavy language and gave up. Well, it would probably be interesting to Lavi indeed. He didn't know until he would give it.

'Looks, good,' he answered, closing the book again. 'Thank you for the help. I'll buy it.'

The man smiled. 'You're welcome, sir. Is there anything else you want?'

Allen looked around, still feeling disorientated because he had no idea what he should pay attention at when buying books for Lavi. 'I don't think so.'

'Well, then, let me help you at the cash register.' The man gestured to him to follow and disappeared somewhere between all the shelves.

Allen walked behind him until a certain book caught his attention. He pulled it out and looked at the front. The cover had a detailed painting of a beautiful woman on it. 'Pretty women for every man's desires' the title said in red decorative letters.

The exorcist opened the book and immediately was met by a painting of a woman with nearly no clothes on at all. He paged a bit further, then quickly closed it. This book was filled with drawings that made Allen blush from embarrassment, but somehow he knew it could be exactly what Lavi would like. He breathed in deeply, then decided to buy it. He couldn't give only one book and this was the only thing he could think of to buy for the Bookman. So he tried to act casually while paying for the books and quickly hid it deep in his bag after. He tried to forget the obvious wink he received from the man working at the store when he had seen the book.

Allen sighed in relief when he passed the corner and could put his mind on something else. He still had a ton of presents to buy.

* * *

The next problem he decided to face was Lenalee. He didn't have any idea what she might like, especially because she was a girl. What kind of things made a girl happy? He looked around, and decided to enter the store that was mostly filled with women.

It appeared to be a shop filled with clothes and jewelry. That seemed the right place to be, but there was still a big problem: there was so much to choose from and the women that looked around seemed so picky on what to buy, that Allen had no idea where to start. He passed countless shelves with all kinds of beauty products, some even didn't make any sense to Allen. What was it about hair removing products that women liked so much? And then the countless kinds of creams to keep the skin healthy and clean. They involved things like mud and cucumbers, which didn't seem really suitable for that objective to Allen, but well, what did he know about the subject?

By the way why did woman have to wear such uncomfortable high heels and what was the reason they would wear such short skirts, wasn't that really cold in the British climate? And then the make-up… There were brushes of all sizes and shapes everywhere. Eyeliner and eyeshadow: two names for seemingly the same products. Then there was a whole bowl full of all kinds of nail polish and another filled with lipstick in the most impossible colors Allen didn't think he had seen anyone wear before.

Feeling entirely lost between all those senseless things he quickly walked on and entered the jewelry section.

This at least seemed a bit more logical to him. There were bracelets, necklaces and earrings in all kinds of appearances. He walked alongside them, taking a good look at everything that was displayed. These were also made with different materials. Some were made from iron, other, more expensive ones, of gold or silver. There were some with feathers on them, others with beautiful gems or even diamonds.

However, Allen found out soon enough that he at least had less choice than he had thought at first. His eyes fell on the prices of some and that made him gasp for air, then reminded him of his master who bought such things for women and felt sick. No way he would spend so much of his precious money on a simple ring or necklace.

He tried to picture Lenalee and imagine her wearing the stuff he saw here. That helped a bit too, but most of it looked fine for her to him.

'Looking for someone else, sir?' An older woman asked kindly.

Allen looked up and laughed regretfully. 'Yeah, but I'm afraid I don't know what I should pick.'

'Shall I help you?'

'If you would I would be very grateful,' Allen answered, knowing he really needed this help.

'Is it a very special lady?'

The exorcist shook his head after a moment of thought. 'She's special, but more like a sister.'

The woman smiled warmly. 'Then I think I've got precisely the good ones for you.' She walked from one shelf to another, gathering a matching bracelet, necklace and a pair of earrings. 'I'm sure she'll like this.' She said as she handed them over.

Allen smiled broadly. 'Thanks, miss, you helped me a lot.'

They said their goodbyes to each other before the boy walked away to pay for his new set of presents.

* * *

It took him the whole day to look for the others. He finally had nearly everything when the sun had sunk deep under the horizon already and the sky was filled with stars. The streets were lit with all kinds of Christmas lights and ignited a cozy winter atmosphere. Snowflakes had started falling again and Allen's breath left his mouth in little clouds of fog. His arms were loaded with bags, containing presents for all the exorcists and for some of the other staff of The Order he got along well with.

However, there was still one person he hadn't bought presents for yet. But the thought of him already made the air stuck in his throat in panic.

Kanda. What should he buy for the man? Should he even buy something for him? The other exorcist had made very clear that he didn't care about Christmas presents, but if he didn't give any to him as only one, it would look really weird.

Timcanpy also wouldn't be of any help. Whenever he asked the golem which present he would buy it would start flying senseless circles, leaving Allen on his own on this subject.

He wandered around aimlessly for some time, trying to clean up the chaos that had formed in his mind, until one of the products behind a window caught his eye: shampoo.

He thought of the incident earlier that day and decided to buy some for himself. But not only that. Maybe he could buy some for Kanda, who didn't seem to have any of it. When you had such long hair you had to at least take good care of it.

He entered the store and walked through it until he found the section with body wash products. He picked up the cheapest bottle of shampoo for himself, but had the feeling he couldn't give that as a present. Actually, the shelves were so full with all different kinds of shampoo that he felt he should at least pay a bit of attention to what he would buy for the man.

He looked at all of them, reading what they said an quickly discovered the pattern: they differed in brand, ingredients and fragrance. They also seemed to be meant for certain purposes. Like keeping naturally dry hair healthy, or helping damaged hair recover. There were some for long hair, others for short. He saw some which claimed to be Asian others to be made from deep sea products. There was so much choice that Allen pulled up a skeptical brow unconsciously. Okay, using soap for your hair was a bit weird, but so many types of shampoo also seemed a bit exaggerated. What did you need so much choice for? Couldn't people buy just a bit of normal shampoo like he did?

But well, he had decided to buy a special one for Kanda and now he would. At least they didn't seem too expensive, so he took a good look around, picturing the man's hair and trying to think of the scent he would like the most.

He tried to conceal the blush as he tried to remember the condition of Kanda's hair to decide what purpose would suit it the best. He didn't think it was thin or dry, but he didn't know for sure what that would look like. It wasn't really soft either, more like sleek. That was why it always seemed to slip out of his hands when he pulled it during their fights, though he suddenly felt sorry for yanking at it like that before. He had pulled out quite some strands already and all of a sudden that seemed like a waste to him, though the man had done the same to his hair sometimes, even with his sword. But he would never admit it to Kanda. That would go against his pride, especially because he had made fun of the long hair so many times already. But it just seemed the only thing in the man's appearance he could bully him with. Especially because the man would make some mean comments about his white hair as well. It wasn't like he had chosen for his hair color. Maybe he was even just a bit jealous. And well, Kanda just _had _a pretty face that went very well with the long hair, so he couldn't help but tease the man with looking like a woman. Even though he was actually pretty manly in a lot of ways as well.

His eyes stuck on a certain bottle and he took it from the shelf. It claimed to be Asian. 'For long and shiny hair,' it stated, 'With the fragrance of the lotus flower.' The text made Allen think of the flower Kanda kept in his room and he immediately decided to take this one. Kanda's hair was long and shiny and Allen wanted to keep it that way. The lotus flower seemed really suitable for someone who probably liked it and the Asian part seemed good for someone with a Japanese nationality as well.

He walked back to the cash register with the two products and paid for them. He finally had all the presents for christmas.


	20. Chapter 19

Me: 'I'm really lucky, because I'm away for the summerholidays but it turned out I have wifi. So I decided to write a new chapter and upload it.'

Allen: *sighs* 'And I thought we would finally get a break.'

Me: Anyway, I'm really excited about this chapter. In my eyes this is a huge step in the story and I loved writing it. I've tried to spend all my attention on the last piece, to make it as good as possible, because I actually am not familiar with writing romance at all. I hope I did well anyway and if you have any comments on how I could improve then I'd be happy to receive them.'

Kanda: *through golem* 'I don't care you're away for the holidays, I'm going to find you and kill you anyway. This will end now.'

Me: *swallows nervously* 'let's hope he won't. Anyway, have a lot of fun reading it! And thank you all for the sweet reviews I received. I love them and please keep sending them, especially for this chapter. I'm really curious to what you think of the end.'

* * *

The last days were over before they knew it and suddenly it was the 24th of December already. Everyone was making their last preparations, because that night Christmas would start. There was huge buzz in the corridors of The Order of people hurrying to finish their work before the holidays and others running around to put up the last decoration or buy their last presents.

Allen watched them all walk past, sitting on the windowsill. He hadn't showed himself in the hallways for weeks, but this was the only moment he was really sure Kanda wouldn't show up. The man hated holidays and especially the happy excited atmosphere that came with it. His own preparations were ready and the exorcists had been given freedom since the beginning of this day, so they could rest before the real holidays would begin.

Actually, the boy wasn't really with his mind at Christmas like all the others. He looked outside and for the first time in weeks he didn't think of a certain man but of someone else. He hadn't forgotten what made these days even more special to him. These were the days he had met Mana and had been adopted. Memories flooded his mind and he closed his eyes to take a better look at them. This was the time they had always called his birthday. Most of the years it had been on the first day of Christmas, but on some special occasions they had celebrated it on Christmas' eve or the second day. Allen hadn't really cared, he had just liked the extra time Mana had spent on him. They were broke all the time, so presents had never been part of their celebration, but the attention his father would give him would be more than enough.

As one of the happiest times of the year with his father, it had turned to the worst with his master. The general would spend even more than usual, even though his pupil couldn't work on those holidays and would have to catch up with the bills after. The bittersweet memories of Mana would cloud his mind and make him feel sad and lonely.

This was the first time Allen could say he actually didn't feel hurt at all, just nostalgic. Yes, he felt troubled, but not by his miss. He even smiled when he saw the beautiful memories pass through his head. He had friends now. He wouldn't be lonely. He would be here with them, celebrating Christmas, eating together.

His stomach cramped nevertheless, because he knew that one certain person would also be there and it would be impossible to avoid him then.

However, most of the people didn't want them to be together, because they would fight and mess things up, so he would try to rely on his friends, who would probably keep them far from each other.

'Allen, it looks like you're free for the moment. Could you help me please?'

The boy turned around and smiled at Jerry. 'Of course, what can I help you with?'

The chef smiled back, looking nervous under the time pressure, and turned around. 'Could you follow me to the dining hall? The tables still need to be covered and there are far too many of them for me to do it alone. Besides, I really have to start cooking and I can't seem to find anyone except a few finders who are willing to help me.'

Allen immediately jumped off the windowsill to follow the man through the corridors of the building. 'Why don't you let us cover the tables alone then, so you can cook?'

'You're a sweety, Allen,' Jerry sighed honestly, 'but I really doubt you'll be able to do all of that. All the tables in the hall have to be covered, because there will be hundreds of people inside to eat.'

The exorcist shrugged his shoulders. 'I think we'll manage just fine. We still have more than enough time to cover and decorate the tables and if so many people will eat there at the same time tonight then you'll have a lot more to cook than usually.'

Jerry nodded, apparently with his thoughts already on the dinner he should serve. 'Yes, usually I don't have so many people to feed at once, they will come separately over time. I also have to make a really good Christmas dinner, so it will take a lot more time than usual. It has to be something really special.'

Allen's stomach rumbled softly at the mention of so much delicious food and Jerry laughed. 'It seems like I'll have to make a few extra portions for you.'

The exorcist blushed but smiled. 'That sounds great, Jerry. I'm sure it will be delicious as always.'

The chef looked at him with sympathetic eyes and patted the boy on his white hair. 'I'm glad you've found your appetite back for today, Allen. I was really worried.'

Allen was surprised for a moment, then looked back with a just as happy glance. 'Thanks, Jerry. I'm sorry for worrying you.'

They entered the dining hall and Jerry immediately seemed to fall back in his tense state again. Drops of sweat leaked down his neck and he looked around with disapproving eyes when he saw all the empty tables. He quickly lead his new employee to a small group of other people, consisting of seven finders, Lenalee, Miranda and three nurses, who apparently didn't have any patients at the moment and thus could help out a bit.

'So, I want you to decorate and cover the tables with the stuff in those boxes,' the chef pointed in the direction of a corner stocked with stuff, 'and with the usual plates and silverware in the kitchen. I'll go back there to cook, but if you need me, or won't be able to make it in time, then come and get me.'

They all nodded dutifully and Jerry hurried back to his usual post behind the stove.

'So, where should we begin?' one of the finders asked, looking around like he had no idea at all.

Lenalee walked over to the boxes and started unpacking them. 'Let's first put some cloths on the tables, that'll make it look more cozy.' A few minutes later she pulled some huge blanket-like cloths out of the boxes and handed them over to the others. 'Try to cover as many of the tables as you can.' She instructed. 'Meanwhile others can get some plates already.'

The two nurses immediately took the cloths to cover the tables and asked a finder for help. When another finder wanted to tell the others to follow him to the kitchen was Lenalee smart enough to tell Miranda to help with the cloths, which at least couldn't break when she would trip.

However, when Allen returned with the other finders with hands full of plates he soon realized that hadn't been all that safe either. The ones who had stayed behind in the dining hall were holding up one of the cloths which had a huge tear inside and Miranda looked very guilty and upset. Lenalee tried to assure her it wasn't that bad, but it wasn't helping much, because the woman knew very well that they already didn't have an excess of cloths and that would make it harder to cover the tables.

'I could use my Time Record,' she told Lenalee quickly, but the girl shook her head and smiled.

'It's okay, Miranda, that'll only wear you out. Let's first see how far we'll come with the remaining ones.'

They worked until all of the dining hall was tidy and ready for a meal with hundreds of persons and then fell down on one of the chairs in exhaustion. It had taken a few hours, but they were done in time and Jerry seemed really happy when he walked in and saw the results of their hard work.

It didn't take any longer until the first humans started entering the room and picking out seats. The workers now also took chose their places and talked to each other happily until the room was stocked and Jerry came in carrying the first dishes.

It was only then that Kanda came in, dragged forth by Lenalee, who had noticed his absence and decided to get him before he wouldn't show up at all. The man's expression was one of disgust and annoyance when he was pulled into this far too busy and irritating room.

Lavi and the girl had left a seat open at the other side of the exorcist table, because everyone knew Allen and Kanda would fight for sure if they weren't kept far from each other. The boy couldn't help but feel highly relieved, and he avoided the man's eye contact consistently.

Nevertheless, the food tasted delicious to Allen. He stuffed himself with delight, though he would have eaten more if his attention hadn't been dragged to a certain individual at the other side of the table all the time. He dug in like he was starving though, so his friends wouldn't notice that his mind was actually somewhere differently.

It was only after the meal that Komui declared that there were more plans for this night. Apparently all sections would have their own few hours of Christmas eve before the main party would begin. The exorcists would have to assemble in the training hall and take all their presents with them. The ones that would be for people of the other section could be given at any other given time.

Well, that wasn't what Allen had expected. Being alone in a room with only the few exorcists there were would mean he would have a lot more difficulty in avoiding any contact with Kanda. However, there was nothing he could do about it, because it would be rude to complain or not come at all.

So a few minutes later they were on their way to the training hall and Allen walked at the back of the group, having a hard time to find enough motivation to keep setting one foot in front of another. The thoughts about Mana had weakened and were entirely overtaken by the confusion and the strong emotions that had bullied him before.

'Oi, Moyashi,' Kanda had fallen back as well and now walked next to his fellow exorcist, still not looking happy, but less grumpy now that the group had become smaller, 'can I have a moment with you.'

Allen looked up in shock and felt his face growing pale. This was the least he had expected and he mumbled a few incomprehensible words before his mind broke free from its huge chaos of confusion that had taken over by that simple question.

The man glared at him in impatience and the boy couldn't help but turn his eyes at the ground and hide his face behind the white strands of hair.

Why did the man want to have a moment with him? Was it about earlier, when he had invited him in? Did he maybe want to tell him it was a mistake and he actually still hated him? Or maybe he just wanted to say Komui had a mission for them, but that wasn't something he couldn't say here. Was it maybe possible that the man had found out about his feelings and wanted to tell him how stupid he was and that nothing would ever exist between them?

Allen's mouth felt dry and whatever reason the man could have to talk to him, they all seemed bad. He had to think of an excuse not to.

He looked up and forced himself to smile, though it came out like a nervous mouse on the verge of fleeing from a cat. 'I… I'm sorry, but we can't leave now. I've got to give the others my presents.'  
Kanda's expression only got more annoyed. 'I didn't mean now, idiot, after that.'

Allen blushed when he realized how stupid his answer had been and quickly looked away again. 'I don't know yet. I…' his mind worked overtime to think of some valid excuses. 'I don't feel that good. I think I'll go to bed and sleep when we're done with the presents.'

Well, now he couldn't go to the party anymore, and he kind of regretted it, but it had been the only thing he had come up with and he'd rather miss the party than talk to Kanda about whatever horrible thing the man had in mind to tell him.

They entered the training hall and all took a place on the ground, forming a rough circle, that didn't look all round, but good enough to see everyone's faces. They all carried bags with presents with them, even Kanda, who he had thought couldn't care less about Christmas. Maybe the man wasn't THAT much of a jerk after all, but that didn't make him less rude when he would say those mean things to others as always.

They decided to take turns to give their presents, using a dice to decide on the order of who would go first. Allen was third and first got a book about food from all over the world from Lavi and a new dark blue ribbon from Lenalee to wear around his collar.

Then it was his turn and though he was really insecure about if they liked them, they all seemed very happy with their presents. Lenalee looked even so good with her jewelry that he had to blush from her and Miranda's excitement over it. At last he came at Kanda's present and he immediately wished he had chosen something else, because it was pretty embarrassing to give something like that in the middle of a group.

However he had no other choice than to give it and the man already seemed a bit surprised at the shape and the size of the object. He ripped the paper off with a violent movement and furrowed his brows in surprise then sent him a toxic glare, apparently thinking it was meant as a joke.

Lavi next to the man started laughing loudly and all the others seemed curious to what that funny present could be.

'Oh, Yu, you couldn't have gotten a better present. Your hair is long and shiny, exactly as it says!' Lavi dodged Mugen's hilt which nearly crushed his head.

Allen turned his face to the ground in embarrassment. This was not what he had wanted. He hadn't meant to make such a scene of the man's present. He had really just wanted to help him because he didn't seem to have any of it himself.

'I didn't think washing your hair with soap is very healthy or convenient,' Allen explained, so it wouldn't be taken entirely wrongly, 'so I just thought this might come in handy.'

He tried to put the honesty in his eyes when he looked up so the man would understand. Kanda looked a bit surprised again for a moment, then put the present away in his bag. 'Thanks, Moyashi, I hope you've bought some for yourself too. So you don't annoyingly ask for it at my door again.'

'Of course I have,' he grumbled. 'And it's Allen. I wish there was something to wash brains too so you would finally remember.'

Kanda prepared to snap something back, when Lenalee gave him a shove. 'No fighting now, it's Christmas. You neither, Allen. Let's move on to Miranda.'

In the end Allen got a few pairs of warm socks from Miranda, who had found out that his own were really worn out, a beautiful sculpture from Tim from Tiedoll, and countless of other presents. Kanda gave him a pair of black chopsticks and told him to use those next time he ate soba, because a fork was an abomination for such good food.

And like that their little time together was over before they knew it and Lenalee suggested to go to the party. While everybody got up from their places was Allen aware of the expecting glances Kanda sent him. However, before the man could walk up to him, the boy escaped the room quickly and locked himself up in his own.

* * *

Allen let himself fall on bed and sighed deeply, burying his face in his pillow and trying to relax. He had messed things up again. Kanda hadn't probably been happy with his present at all and he couldn't even go to the party because of his own lie. Actually, it hadn't been that much of a lie at all. His stomach hurt and he felt sick. Somehow this Christmas, that had to become the first good one after Mana's death, might have turned even worse than any before.

A few violent knocks on the door made him groan of desperation. There was Kanda, he was sure of it. There was no place to run now. He couldn't just leave the man in the corridor, neither could he think of any other excuse.

He stood up from his bed and opened the door a bit to indeed reveal the handsome face surrounded by long dark hair.

'What is it, Kanda? Can't it wait 'till tomorrow? I'm exhausted.'

'Let me in,' the man insisted, glaring at him in a way that told Allen he wouldn't take a 'no'.

The boy sighed and opened further so the man could enter. Then Kanda pushed the door back in its lock and leaned against it, obviously determined to not let the boy escape again.

'What the hell is so important, Kanda,' Allen grumbled as he let himself fall on his bed. 'I don't want to talk to you. How much of: I don't feel good and want to sleep, don't you understand?'

The man ignored his moaning and instead took him in slowly, looking tense and extraordinary grumpy himself. 'And you said I was the rude one. You don't even let someone congratulate you with your birthday.'

Wait, what… 'My birthday?' Allen repeated, astounded by such a comment from that mean man that usually didn't care about anyone's personal business. 'How did you know?' Was the only other thing that came out.

Kanda averted his gaze and grimaced. 'I heard you talking about it with the Usagi. You said it was around Christmas.'

'Usually, the first day of Christmas,' Allen confirmed hesitantly, not knowing anymore what to expect next.

'I don't care. Christmas is Christmas,' the man snapped back, apparently picking it up as criticism instead. 'So take this already.'

The man finally left his place at the door and came to a stop just in front of the boy. Allen looked at his hands in surprise when a little package was pushed in it.

'Well, open it. We don't have all day, Moyashi.'

'It's Allen,' he snapped back without thinking before returning his eyes to the second present of the man.

'Fine then, Allen. Just hurry up already, I thought you wanted me to leave.'

The boy grimaced but removed the paper of the little box and opened it.

When he lifted the lid he revealed the tiny jar inside. Inside it was a tiny lotus made from red glass, drifting in the water. It looked a bit like the one in Kanda's room, but then a lot smaller and not real.

'Th… thanks, Kanda.'

He had no idea what else to say, dumbfounded from the unexpected present. Why did the man give this to him? Was there an idea behind?

But Kanda was ready for that question, because he declared with a reluctant voice. 'It's supposed to be a lotus flower. They are born in the mud but always reach to heaven.'

Allen looked up in surprise, not having expected such poetic words from the samurai.

'It made me think of that annoying naivety of yours.'

Well, that took the beauty of it away a bit, but that actually only soothed Allen, because he finally saw a bit of the Kanda he knew back.

'Thanks, Kanda, it's beautiful.'

He pulled it out and put it on the corner of his nightstand.

It was awfully silent afterwards and that only made the boy more nervous. So after a few seconds he stood up to get the man back to the door.

'I really appreciate your present and that you remembered my birthday, but I really want to slee- eep!'

The last word came out as a yelp when Kanda looked at him angrily and gave him a shove so he landed with his back on his bed. 'You stupid idiot, at least give people the time to actually congratulate you!'

Allen furrowed his brows in confusion and sat up again, now beginning to feel grumpy again. 'What do you want to do more, Kanda? Usually you actually _congratulate_ people on their birthday _before_ you give the present and then it's over and you leave or have a party when the others feel like it, but I already told you I...'

'Shut up already, will you!' Kanda yelled, making Allen fall silent in shock.

It was only then that the boy realized it wasn't him that was the problem, but something inside Kanda. The man seemed to think about something and his expression was one of annoyance and reluctance. What was it that Kanda wanted? Did he want to ask something? He seemed so tense and grumpy. It was almost like he was nervous.

'What is it, Kanda?'

'Sshhht,' the man ordered him so the boy fell silent again and only looked at him with curiosity, not knowing what attitude he should take on or what he should do at all.

Then the other exorcist sighed and suddenly grabbed Allen's collar. For a moment he was afraid Kanda would get mad at him and wanted to resist, but then his vision got covered with an approaching face and suddenly he felt something soft and warm on his forehead.

He was too surprised by it and the happy feeling that rushed through his veins to immediately understand what was happening. He only realized those had been Kanda's lips when the man's mouth moved to his ear where a warm breath tickled his skin.

'Happy birthday, Allen,' was the soft whisper that reached his hearing.

The boy didn't even get the chance to respond anymore. Because then Kanda quickly moved away, turned around and left the room, smacking the door shut like they had been fighting instead.

Allen sat on his bed, dazed by the unexpected run of events. Then, after those long seconds to take it all in, his cheeks started to burn and a hot feeling spread through his chest to the rest of his body. His fingers reached up to touch the place on his forehead where he had met those soft lips, to try to find any trace they had left behind, but even after looking into the mirror, he couldn't find any other evidence of that encounter than the happy, excited feeling fluttering through his stomach and his highly red face.

Suddenly, from that moment on, Christmas didn't seem so bad anymore and he didn't regret missing the whole party. He just let himself fall back on bed and hugged his pillow, burying his face in it, but this time not to hide his tears but the huge smile that was covering it.


	21. Chapter 20

Me: '**I'm so sorry this took so long**. I really was planning on updating far earlier, but then a lot of stuff happened and it got a bit stressful, so I had a hard time finding the right mood for writing. But here it finally is.'

Allen: 'I hope it wasn't too stressful, are you okay?'

Me: 'I am, thanks, Allen. I'm fine now.'

Allen: *smiles* 'Good.' *expression turns to a grumpy one* 'But I still don't like this story and it's only getting worse.'

Me: 'I'm sorry, Allen, but my readers like it. I still get lots of reactions. Thanks for that btw.' *smiles broadly* 'So enjoy this new chapter, the more because you had to wait for it so long. I'll do my best to upload the next one sooner.'

Allen: 'Or don't read it because no way I would ever have a relationship with BaKanda.'

Lavi: 'Don't be too sure, Allen, love can do weird things.'

Allen: *sighs desperately* 'Not you too!'

* * *

The next morning Allen woke up early, a few hours before the big Christmas breakfast. He felt himself overflowing with energy, but at the same time he was more nervous than ever before.

Last night, in which Kanda had kissed him on the forehead, seemed like a realistic, happy dream, but he knew it had really happened, well, at least after he had asked Tim for the record of it to be sure. Today would be his chance to set things right. This was _the moment _to go to Kanda and see what it meant exactly. He couldn't help but feel that it had been a really special treatment. He couldn't picture the man doing such a thing to anyone, even if it was something as simple as a kiss on the forehead. It was Kanda after all, usually he wouldn't even think of congratulating someone. The hope that the samurai might feel even a little bit of _something _for him made him warm inside.

However, that was also what made him feel so extraordinarily nervous. He would have to go to Kanda now and he might be disappointed. That little voice of doubt told him that he could also have comprehended it entirely differently than what it had been.

He put one of his most decent clothes on, because it was the first day of Christmas as well and then told Tim to follow him as he left through the door.

Though his room had been comfortably warm, he was met with some chilling air in the corridors. It was impossible for The Order to keep the whole huge building warm and that meant the hallways could become so cold it was nearly freezing, making his breath visible in the air. Luckily he had taken it in account and he hid himself deep in his jacket to keep himself warm while he hurried to Kanda's room.

When he finally arrived he halted for the door. He breathed in and out deeply, creating thick clouds of fog in front of his face for a moment. Then he looked at Timcanpy for a moment to gather some courage.

'Here we go, Tim,' he whispered, wondering if he shivered from the cold or the nerves.

He raised his hand, waited one more moment to think of what he would say, then knocked loudly.

For a moment he wondered if he had been too early and Kanda would still be asleep, but the man's voice responded clearly and didn't sound sleepy at all: 'Who's there?'

'Allen,' he answered, suppressing a shiver of the cold, 'can I come in?'

Just like the boy was used to it stayed silent for a moment. However, the door opened suddenly and Kanda appeared behind it, also wearing proper clothes and still having slightly wet hair from showering.

'Come in.'

Allen walked in slowly and looked back at the man, who closed the door behind him, before returning to his bed, where his hairbrush was waiting.

When Kanda started brushing again in silence and didn't seem to pay much attention to him at all, Allen sat down on the bed and watched the man taking care of his hair. He noticed a sweet smell and realized it had to be from the shampoo he had given the day before. He smiled and quickly averted his gaze to the lotus in the jar on the other side of the room.

Slowly but surely the silence grew awkward and now Allen was almost panicking at his lack of knowing what to say. Everything he could think of sounded stupid in his mind and he clenched his teeth in anxiety. He had to say something. He had to mention the night before, but he was scared of what the reaction would be. What if the man would react coldly again? He didn't think he would be able to bear it. For the first time he could remember, he felt like he couldn't control his emotions at all. He felt like one word, or one touch, could either make him laugh of excitement or cry from frustration.

Kanda just kept brushing his hair like nothing was wrong, but Allen could see the tension in his shoulders.

Then it finally hit him, when the brush got stuck in the tangled hair and the man started yanking at it violently, seemingly determined to let his hair pay for the awkward and frustrating situation.

'Ne, Kanda, shall I brush your hair for you?'

The man looked up in surprise, then immediately recovered by putting his usual grumpy expression on. 'Like you would know how to treat long hair, stupid Moyashi.'

Allen tried to swallow back the overflowing negative feelings that went with that harsh sentence and instead answered, with only a slight tremble in his voice: 'It's Allen, and actually I know a lot of it. I used to brush my master's hair sometimes.'

Kanda lowered the brush, but didn't seem completely convinced yet. However, the cold words stayed away and that made Allen a bit more confident again.

'My master is horrible to help with his hair though. Especially because most of those times was when he had been drinking too much the night before. I could never do it right. If I brushed too soft he would yell at me for being too slow and not thorough enough and when I would do it too hard…' He swallowed and immediately felt depressed when the memory of it passed his mind, 'he would punch me on the head and ask me if I liked that, because I was hurting him like that too.'

Well, this wasn't really persuading the man, of course. This sounded like he sucked at brushing long hair and somehow he had lost track of what he wanted to say.

'Anyway, what I wanted to say with this was… uh.. you see, I couldn't brush my master's hair and I might not really have long hair, but I don't think you're that picky with it if I see you working on it and I.. uh… I have experience with it… So I guess I would be able to help you… kind of…' He fell silent and turned his face to the ground in embarrassment. Somewhere along the way he had messed up and his story had started to sound ridiculous.

However, to his surprise the man suddenly sat down on the bed next to him and handed him the brush.

'Fine then, Moyashi, you get your chance.'

Kanda's eyes pierced through his when he looked up. He still couldn't read them all that well, but somehow he knew that the man was okay with however he would do it, as long as it didn't exceed the limits _too_ much.

He crawled further on the bed until he was sitting behind the man and then took a dark strand in his hands. He tightened his grip on the brush and started working on the hair carefully, beginning at the bottom and slowly moving upwards.

The moment he started treating the hair like that it gave off the wonderful scent of the shampoo and he breathed in deeply. When he was done with the strands he would let them slide through his fingers, just to enjoy their sleekness. Kanda's hair was so different from his master's. The hair from his master was a bit unruly and rough, but the samurai's was sleek and shiny. He had expected it to be easier because of that, but instead the dark hair turned out to be a lot more tangled up than the red strands he was used to take care of.

At first he had been determined to not brush too slow or fast, but he found himself enjoying the work and saw how Kanda relaxed with the time being, causing him to work slower and even more carefully, until he was totally sure the man wouldn't feel any pain of it at all, just comfortable tickling movements. He even kept on brushing when he was actually already all done and just didn't feel like stopping.

The samurai didn't say anything, just seemed to enjoy to gentle strokes through his hair. When Allen finally stopped, because he really didn't think he should overdo it, Kanda turned around and took over the brush.

The man stood up and for the first time in minutes words were spoken again.

'Sit down on the edge, Mo… Allen. Your hair is a mess.'

The boy hadn't really thought of his hair when leaving his room and smiled in embarrassment. It was a surprise Kanda wanted to brush it, but the idea was so soothing that he immediately did as he was told.

The man now took place behind him, but instead of sitting on his knees, what would probably make it pretty uncomfortable for him because then Allen would be quite low in comparison, he draped his legs around Allen.

The boy couldn't help but blush a little at that unexpected body contact and that got only worse when the man pulled out a white strand and started brushing it.

Kanda wasn't nearly as careful as he was. It wasn't like he was as violent with the other's hair as with his own, but it wasn't something that could be called gentle either. But as time passed Allen felt how the man got the hang of it and he felt himself relax slowly. He sighed deeply and let the tension leave his muscles. His eyelids slowly fell shut.

'Oi, Moyashi, don't fall asleep.'

'It's Allen,' he opened his eyes again and added grumpily, 'I wasn't even near sleeping.'

'hmpf,' was the other's cynical answer, but Allen knew better than responding to it.

The man finished the last strands and then started on taking the brush through all of his hair for one last time. For Allen this was the best moment to say something. He wouldn't have to look the man in the eyes now and if a fight would break out he would be able to leave quickly, with only losing a few strands of hair because Kanda had easy excess to those. Well, if the man didn't decide on tangling him up in his legs that was, but Allen tried to shake off that thought. There would be no fight, he had to prevent that by all costs.

'Ne, Kanda, about yesterday…' His throat suddenly squeezed shut and he was unable to continue. Yes, what about yesterday? What did he want to say? _What did it mean? Did you do that because you actually care for me? Does it mean you love me?_ The further he got the less he was willing to use any of the sentences. However, he was scared to not say anything. What if Kanda would say to him now to forget about it? That would mean it was the end of everything.

'Just say what you want to say, stupid Allen.'

The brush was taken off his head and the boy felt how those dark eyes pierced through his skull.

'I… I just wondered… why?' the last word was more of a soft breath.

Kanda stayed silent for a moment. 'You know that, idiot.'

Allen tensed. Did this mean that the man knew about his feelings? Or was it just a reference to how it meant nothing? Why didn't Kanda just be somewhat clearer.

For like the hundredth time that morning, it was so quiet that it was awkward. It took Allen minutes to think of a valid response.

'So, did it mean anything?' It was quite a risk to ask something like that, but if he wouldn't he would always stay uncertain of things and that might even let him make mistakes.

'It meant whatever you want it to.'

Suddenly Kanda brushed a few more times before finally putting away the brush and backing off. Then the man took place on the edge next to him again and stared him in the eyes.

That sounded like Kanda wasn't all that sure either. Actually, it even looked like the samurai was expecting some kind of answer from him.

He blushed and lifted his hand. The hesitation took just a few seconds before he softly placed it over Kanda's.

The other hand turned around, so the callused fingers closed around his and brushed his skin softly.

'You're such an idiot,' Kanda commented, nearly ruining the mood like always. 'You could have prevented all the difficulty if you hadn't been such a stubborn Moyashi and just had said something.'

'It's not like people expect a jerk like you to stand open for such things,' Allen spat back, but he didn't feel as offended as usual. A warm, happy feeling was flooding from his hand into his arm and spread through his chest. His belly itched of excitement and he couldn't help but smile broadly, even when he criticized like usual: 'however, this means you _really _have to learn my name. Can't keep calling me Moyashi and starting a fight like that when the mood is good, right?'


	22. Chapter 21

Lavi: 'Hahaha, Allen, that misunderstanding of you. It was great. You're really not used to having a relationship, are you?'

Allen: 'Shut up, I couldn't know what BaKanda was thinking. Wait, that's not even me! I'm not in love with him!'

Lavi: *grins teasingly* 'It seems you're still in denial here.'

Allen: 'I'm not!'

Me: 'Come on, guys, calm down. It's just a story. Can you finally just accept what I'm writing and start making useful comments on my chapters?'

Allen and Lavi: '...'

Me: *sighs* 'Right... Anyway, it's a bit short compared to the other chapters but at least I've written something. I hope you all like it. And there was someone who asked me to add a certain plot and I decided I will in the end, so the first plotpoint is in here, but I'm not going to say anything else. I don't want to spoil it. Though I decided to make it different from the manga, so don't expect it to be the same.'

Allen: *turns pale* 'I'm not going to like it, am I?'

Lavi: *nods* 'You've come to know her, Allen.'

Me: *smiles uncomfortably* 'I'm sorry, Allen.'

Allen: *looks really displeased and cries out* 'I knew it!'

Me: 'Have fun reading it and please keep sending all those amazing reviews. I love every one of them.'

* * *

For Allen it was like he was living in a dream. And a pretty weird but extraordinarily happy one, that is. It wasn't like much had happened, actually they had only brushed each other's hair and held hands, but Kanda's acceptance had been enough to make him feel like he was walking on clouds. Even the man's overly grumpy expression because Allen was dragging him to the dining hall for the Christmas breakfast, didn't bother him at all.

The only thing was that he had to remember not to show the others. Instead he let go of Kanda's arm the moment they entered the lively hallways and pretended to ignore him on their way. The man played the game with him and together they arrived at the dining hall without anyone suspecting anything.

It wasn't like they had discussed keeping it a secret, but Allen felt like his pride would be severely damaged if anyone found out. Kanda was supposed to be his rival and they still got into fights easily, so the others might not take them seriously anymore when they found out they actually had a relationship. Besides, Allen wasn't all that sure it would last. He didn't want to think about it, but it had just started an hour ago and that meant they didn't even know where they precisely stood compared to each other yet and with that uncertain position he felt too vulnerable to let anyone else know. Somehow he was sure Kanda felt the same and it was a relief the man indeed acted like nothing happened.

They took place at the table, separated from each other by their friends again and waited for Jerry and the other cooks to come in and serve their meal.

Allen looked around and smiled when he met some gazes from his friends, who immediately returned the favor.

The Order was so different today. Usually almost everyone was in uniform, but today was special. On Christmas they were asked to come in suits and dresses and everyone had listened to that request, even if it was just because everyone else did so as well. The only condition was that they would wear something that would remind them of their place in the Black Order and for that they had gotten badges. So Allen wore his rose cross proudly on his chest like usual.

Just when he thought his stomach would grumble loudly and embarrass him in front of everyone, the doors opened and people appeared with plates filled with delicious looking dishes.

Allen felt his mouth water and swallowed eagerly when they were put in front of them. There were a lot of tables in the room, so it would take some time for the last ones to receive their meal, but the rules were easy: the exorcists were served first, because without them this war would have already been lost. However, the others didn't need to fear, because there was enough. The cooks ran back and forth to put all their dishes on the tables and not forget anyone.

Allen dug in happily and stuffed himself with the heavenly food. Jerry had even taken into account that there were more than one parasitic weapon wielders, who always ate a lot, and had ordered his cooks to keep serving them until they would have had enough. Meanwhile a soft rumor of voices made the atmosphere cozy and warm.

In the end it took them all two hours to finally start leaving the room again. Allen stayed for a bit longer to clean out the last of the scraps that would be thrown in the trash otherwise anyway before following the others to the training hall, where couches had been placed just for the occasion so they could talk and socialize while the dining hall would be cleaned up for the next meal. No-one, except the cooks and cleaners, would work today and the day after and that created a really relaxed atmosphere, even with the people of the science department, who finally looked a bit well-rested.

However, just before Allen reached the training hall, in which he would finally warm up again after the ice cold corridors, a hand grabbed his arm and dragged him back in the direction of the exit.

'Kanda?' Allen looked at the dark-haired male who pulled him through the hallway in silence. 'What are you doing? Why are you wearing your coat?'

The man looked overly grumpy, but responded quite neutrally anyway. 'Come.'

They passed through the big doors and suddenly they were outside where a cold wind cut right through Allen's clothes, making him shiver uncomfortably.

'Why are we outside?' he asked, feeling how he was slowly growing grumpy himself.

'Because inside are all those idiots. Let's go to a quieter place.'

Allen hadn't realized Kanda hated group-related activities this much. He knew the man often left on these kind of occasions, but he hadn't thought he would go outside in sub-zero temperatures to avoid them. Nor had he expected he would be dragged with him, but that idea also made him feel kind of warm, somewhere deep inside his already nearly frozen body.

'Couldn't you at least have warned me,' he grumbled when Kanda finally stood still in the forest and sat down on a flat stone. 'It's freezing outside. Or is this an attempt to dispose of me?'

'Sit down,' Kanda ordered while he began unbuttoning his coat.

Allen froze at that sight and suddenly felt a huge blush creeping up his neck to his cheeks. Even though he felt extremely cold, his face was glowing. Kanda wasn't doing what he thought he was, was he? Panic started growing in his chest until he didn't know what to do anymore. Wasn't this a bit too fast? He wasn't ready for this! Besides, this wasn't the place. Everyone could see them here. He had to find an excuse. 'Oi, Kanda, what the hell are you doing?! If you undress here you'll freeze to death!'

The man looked up in annoyance. 'Sit down already, idiot.' He pulled at his sleeves so they slid off his arms and revealed the suit under it. 'You said you were cold.'

'How is sitting down and seeing you undress supposed to make me feel warm!' Allen was nearly yelling and the embarrassing glow just didn't want to leave his face.

'What the hell are you talking about, Moyashi?' Kanda yelled now too, but in obvious irritation. 'Just sit down so you can use my coat!'

Oh… Allen felt himself go limp and stared at the man dumbfounded. Right… using his coat. Of course Kanda had to take off his coat if he wanted to offer it to him. Somehow that whole intention, that was obviously a lot more logical in this situation, had completely surpassed his mind.

Feeling numb and stupid he took place on the rock next to Kanda. Their seat wasn't very big and they sat so close together that their arms were pressed against each other, but that made Allen only feel warmer and he sighed in relief when the man draped his coat around them.

Suddenly the boy didn't regret that he hadn't had the time to bring his. Instead he laid his head on Kanda's shoulder hesitantly. When the man didn't react negatively, he relaxed and just stared into the silent and frozen forest.

The fabric that lay around his shoulder was still warm and bore the samurai's scent. He pulled it around him tightly to shut the cold out even further, then mumbled a soft thanks.

Kanda just reacted with a 'tssk' to show his annoyance of the scene from earlier. At least he didn't seem to understand what Allen had thought about and the boy preferred to keep it that way.

They sat like that for minutes and the silence was getting dominant. Kanda wasn't talking and Allen didn't feel like disturbing the good mood. Instead he felt like he had to break this quietness in a gentle way.

So before he even really realized it he had started humming softly, surprising not only himself because he didn't do stuff like that usually, but also Kanda and Tim, who looked at him in surprise and suddenly flew up and started circling around his head in excitement for some inexplicable reason.

'Moyashi, what are you doing?' Kanda's voice made him break off his melody and look up.

'It's Allen,' the boy clarified first before feeling the need to explain.

The man reacted with some surprise and annoyance, giving Allen the feeling that he actually had really forgotten this time and that only made the boy even more determined to keep repeating his name, because it would mean Kanda would even call him that in his mind and that thought made him feel kind of furious.

'I just felt like humming.'

Kanda looked at him like it wasn't enough of an explanation and Allen continued with a sigh: 'It has been stuck in my head for days, though I can't remember the lyrics or where it came from.'

'This is not really the moment for a lullaby,' the man grunted, seemingly determined to at least nag about something.

'Well, I'm sorry, grump,' Allen grumbled back, wondering if he had really done something wrong or it was just Kanda's extraordinarily short fuse that caused all this.

It stayed silent for a few seconds before the man uttered reluctantly: 'Just do it.'

These days Kanda could be so unclear sometimes. 'What did you say?'

'I told you to just do it, idiot.'

'Do what?' Allen snapped back in annoyance. And like that they were on the verge of fighting again. Really, they were a horrible couple. How could they even think about a relationship if they still couldn't stand being with each other. It all had just gotten worse. Now he couldn't only stand being _with _Kanda but also being _without _him. Somehow the man had managed to make him feel annoyed all the time.

'The humming, of course, stupid Allen,' Kanda spat. 'If you feel like it, then do it.'

Allen looked up in surprise and only then realized this was some kind of an apology. The man wanted to say that he shouldn't always mind that grumpy attitude and should just keep on humming if he wanted to. Maybe he even hadn't meant to criticize, but just make a comment. Could it be that Kanda actually liked the humming?

The silence grew awkward again and Allen sighed. He was done with it, no more heavy silences. He had to learn how to deal with this if he wanted them to make out. 'Thanks, I will next time.'

He let his right hand slide over Kanda's and stroked with his gloved fingers over the skin. 'And at least you remembered my name this time.'

Kanda grunted a grumpy and unintelligible answer, but the fingers responded to Allen's touch gently.


	23. Chapter 22

Me: 'It took a bit longer than I had hoped, but here's a new chapter.'

Lavi: 'Better late than never I guess.'

Allen: *looks grumpily* 'Never sounds like music in _my_ ears.'

Me: 'I wonder if Allen is ever going to get over it... Though I mostly wish Kanda would finally stop trying to kill me.'

Lavi: 'I don't think Yu will ever forgive someone.'

Me: 'I think I'm out of here before he shows up. So have fun reading and leave some reviews please - again thanks for the ones I already received - while I am off to escape from Kanda.'

* * *

It was two hours later when Allen and Kanda went back inside again. However, the boy halted in front of the entrance, making the man turn around in surprise.

'I'll stay here for ten minutes,' Allen declared while he pulled Kanda's coat off. They hadn't been able to wear it together while walking and the man had thrown it over the other male's shoulders. Even though the boy protested, he wouldn't take it back and in the end Allen had accepted the friendly gesture and snuggled himself deep in it.

'You'd better take this back as well, before anyone sees me wearing it.' He threw the coat in the man's hands and suppressed a shiver when the cold air cut right through his clothes again.

'You go, I'll wait.' Kanda stuck his arms through the sleeves. 'A Moyashi without a coat like you will freeze to death.'

'I'm not a Moyashi,' Allen snapped. Seriously, what was wrong with this jerk? He thought Kanda liked him, but the man just kept using that horrible nickname.

'Just go, idiot. You'll get hypothermic if you keep bickering here.'

That was the limit. 'And whose fault is that?! I'm not the one who drags somebody outside without warning him to get a coat!'

'That's why I stay here, you stupid idiot!' Kanda yelled back.

Allen fell silent, not knowing what to say to that. Instead he glared grumpily at the man for a few seconds before looking away and walked straight past him. 'Why do you always have to be such a jerk?' He mumbled.

'You're the sensitive Moyashi, stupid Allen,' Kanda growled back.

The boy let that slip for once, because his name had been used too, but he felt outraged when he walked through the empty corridors. He rubbed his hands over his arms and shivered. The training hall was just two more corners away.

However, when Allen arrived and opened the door, the warm air that met him didn't do anything to make him feel better. Instead, his anger had vanished and just a dull depressed feeling was left in his chest.

_Maybe he should have talked things out with Kanda._ But at the same time he protested to himself. _There is no talking out with that jerk._

He shook his head to get rid of those thoughts and took place on a couch which was still unoccupied.

'Allen, you're back. Where have you been?' He should have known Lenalee would notice his absence.

The boy forced himself to send her a smile. 'Oh, I just took a little walk.'

'Little?' Lavi dropped himself on the couch next to him and grinned. 'You call two hours a little walk? Or did you meet Yu and get into a fight again?'

Well, no-one was surprised with that man's absence.

'I might have kind of met him,' Allen declared with a sour expression, feeling relieved that he had a reason now to not act like he was entirely happy.

'That's a long fight even for you!' Lavi grinned. 'You guys are horrible together, really.'

Lenalee just seemed worried, but didn't say anything.

It was then that the door opened and Kanda came in. Ignoring everyone around him, the man sat down on another couch. He sent a deathglare around to warn people not to come too close before staring into the distance with a grumpy expression on his face.

'Even Yu seems to be in a worse mood than usual. What did you do to each other?'

'I don't want to talk about it,' Allen hissed in between clenched teeth.

* * *

The tense, unhappy feeling slowly receded during the day. Especially when a big delicious lunch was brought to them in the afternoon and the dinner was even better. They followed through with a bunch of icecream and Allen stuffed himself full with everything that was offered to him. It was only half an hour after that, that he realized Kanda was gone again and that nobody seemed to pay attention to him either. So he went to Jerry, asked for a bowl of soba to take with him and snuck out before anyone would notice him.

He made his way through the corridors quick, so he wouldn't freeze and knocked without a second thought on the man's door. The cold was already settling in his bones and he might never warm up again if he stayed out for too long. The sky outside was already pitch black and the coldness of the evening was setting in.

Kanda opened his door and took him in for a moment, then he simply walked back into his room, leaving it open for Allen to enter.

The boy did so and closed the door behind him. He trembled and cursed when it was even colder here than in the hallways. Right, broken window, he had forgotten that for a moment.

'I thought it would be nice to meditate, after all that excitement from before.' He suppressed a shiver. 'And I brought us something to eat.'

Kanda looked at him with a pulled up eyebrow. 'We've just had dinner, idiot.'

'So what?' Allen grumbled back, while he sat down on the man's bed, determined to eat the food before it would get cold from the icy wind that howled through the window. 'Food always tastes good.'

'Tssk, bottomless pit.'

'What did you say?' Allen poked his new chopsticks angrily in the soba.

Kanda averted his gaze grumpily. 'Nothing.'

'Well, if you don't want it, then I'll eat it myself. More for me,' the boy declared before he treated himself with a mouthful of noodles.

Kanda sat down on the ground in a meditating position and closed his eyes for a few minutes.

'You sure you don't want any?' Allen asked, almost done with eating his meal.

The man looked up and narrowed his eyes for a moment, then he got up and took place next to Allen.

'Okay then, give it.'

The boy grinned satisfactory and picked up a bunch of noodles with his chopsticks, then offered them to the other in front of his face.

The man leaned forward, grabbed Allen's hand and led the food into his mouth, then let go of the boy's arm again. He swallowed and looked at the boy with an approving glance in his eyes.

'I knew you wouldn't be able to withstand it,' Allen teased, while he scrambled the last scraps together and picked them up. 'A pity it will be your only bite.' He lifted the sticks to his mouth, sending the man a challenging glare.

That was it. Suddenly they were on in a second. Kanda grabbed Allen's arm to pull the food his way, but the boy stuffed his feet in between them and pushed them right in the man's stomach. Kanda grunted, but didn't let go of his catch. Instead he planted his other hand over the boy's mouth and started to exert pressure to get the noodles closer to his and further away from Allen's face.

The boy struggled under him and considered biting the palm, but didn't feel like turning this in a real fight, so instead he brought a foot up and pushed against the man's nose with it, who groaned in disgust.

Allen mumbled something under the hand, but didn't manage to make himself understandable.

The man smirked. 'Do you give up, Moyashi?'

'Ifs Affen!' the boy shot back, muffled by the skin on his lips.

Allen wriggled his mouth free from the man's grasp for a moment. He gasped for air before warning: 'If you don't let go of me now, I'll put _two_ feet in your face!'

Kanda immediately put his hand back on the boy's mouth again and threw his whole weight to the side.

Allen yelped from surprise when his own body got tossed to the side, with which the empty bowl flew to the other side of the bed. A few noodles slipped from his chopsticks and slid on the bed, but this wasn't really about the noodles themselves anymore.

Kanda brought his legs up now as well and started kicking in Allen's abdomen with them, causing the boy to huff from the air that got forced out of his lungs.

However, he wasn't done yet. Now that the bowl was gone, he had another hand left and with that one he started yanking at the hand that was holding his other. Fortunately, this was his left hand and that one was a lot stronger than Kanda's.

The man wasn't ready to give in yet though. He let go with both hands for a second. Then he brushed the innocence away, grabbed the chopsticks and punched against the other elbow, triggering Allen's ulnar nerve.

The boy yelped and his hand let go of the sticks in reflex. Which Kanda caught perfectly, without even spilling a noodle.

Without thinking Allen tried to snatch them back, pulling at the first thing he came in contact with. He felt a pang of satisfaction when a stick slid out of the man's hand and went for the other when he realized Kanda had stopped fighting. He followed the man's gaze to the blanket, where the last scraps had fallen. Each of them was holding a loose stick, which was useless on its own.

Kanda looked reproachfully at him and Allen laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head in embarrassment.

'Oops…'

'You idiot,' Kanda commented. He pushed the stick he was holding back in Allen's hands and stood up from the bed.

Allen followed the example. 'I guess we'll have to clean up the mess now.' He said, reaching over to pull the empty bowl off the bed. 'Let's begin with getting those noodles to the trashcan.'

Kanda glared at him, but pulled the bowl out of the boys hands and shoved the noodles in it. He pushed it back into Allen's hands and ordered him to throw it away.

For a moment he felt like protesting, because Kanda just told him something like that so coldly, then realized this actually _was_ his fault and went outside to toss the noodles with the trash.

When he came back, Kanda had changed the blanket to a clean one and was sitting on it.

He took place next to the man again and faced the ground. Kanda seemed grumpy. Maybe he had misinterpreted it and it had been a real fight after all. But it hadn't felt like one. Kanda hadn't really _actually_ _hurt _him even once. The man could have hit him or pulled his hair, but instead he had punched against his elbow and pushed a hand in front of his face.

No it hadn't been a real fight, he was pretty sure about that.

'We really can't do anything else than fight can we?' he grinned at Kanda. 'Even if it's not serious, we're still fighting.'

Kanda's eyes shifted to him and he could see a glimpse of amusement in them.

'It was your fault. Stupid Moyashi's shouldn't be trying to keep soba away from me.'

'It's Allen,' he protested dryly, not feeling the need to be aggressive this time.

'That your name's Allen doesn't mean you're not a Moyashi.'

'I'm just Allen, nothing else.'

'Tsssk, stupid Allen.'

'Bakanda.'

However, there was no hostile undertone in their voices. Instead Allen scooted a little closer to the man, who wrapped an arm around his waist.

The boy felt his face starting to glow, still not being used to the intimate contact.

'Well, at least I'm not cold anymore.'

'Only stupid Allen's whine about the cold.'

'Say, Kanda, let's go to my room next time. At least that one doesn't have sub-zero temperatures,' Allen suggested with a voice thick with annoyance.

'Tssk, weak Allen.'

'Says the one who was obviously shivering on the way back when he didn't have a coat outside,' Allen shot back.

'Because you were whining about dying.'

'I wasn't…!'

There was a knock on the door and they both fell silent. Allen looked at the wood with wide eyes from shock. Would the person have heard he was here? He or she would probably wonder what he was doing here.

'Who's there?' Kanda shouted, sounding more irritated than usual.

'It's Lenalee,' a muffled voice answered through the door. 'We want to go in town to the Christmas market. They say it's beautiful in the night. I thought you could better come too.'

It was silent for a moment in which Kanda shared a quick glance with Allen.

The man sighed. 'Fine.'

'Great!' she sounded sincerely happy. 'We'll see you at the entrance in ten minutes. Oh and if you see Allen on the way, tell him about it too, okay? We can't find him anywhere.'

A few seconds later they heard the sound of footsteps distancing themselves.

Allen let out a sigh of relief. No-one had a clue he was here. They could just tell them he had met Kanda on the way and he indeed had passed on the message like he was told to.

He looked at the man and felt excitement flutter through his chest again. 'Seems like we're going outside again. This time I won't forget my coat.'

Kanda snorted. 'Good, because I'm not sharing mine again.'


End file.
